


Slept So Long (Without You)

by mackwritesreylo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Assassination Attempt(s), Assault, Ben Solo is a Mess, Blood Kink, Deftones, Depression, Emotional Sex, Evanescence (Band) Lyrics, Experienced Kylo Ren, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Finally, Flashbacks, HEA Guaranteed, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Korn - Freeform, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is the Brat Prince, Leia is sick of Ben's shit, Literal Sleeping Together, Los Angeles, Marijuana, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of past abuse, Music, Musician Rey, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Palpatine is Dead, Parents Han and Leia, Possessive Kylo Ren, Redeemed Ben Solo, Redemption, Rey (Star Wars) is a Mess, Rock Star Kylo Ren, Rough Kissing, Royal Blood, Skywalker Family Drama, Snoke is dead, Suicide Attempt, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vampire Bites, Vampire Chronicles, Vampire Kylo Ren, Vampire Sex, Vampire Turning, Vampires, Violence, and thirsty, but in a sweet way, college student rey, kylo is inspired by, our space babies are in love, rey is inspired by, rey is kinda bitter, they're so in love, time jumps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 45,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26174758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackwritesreylo/pseuds/mackwritesreylo
Summary: Kylo Ren, the newly appointed Supreme Leader of The Order of the Blood, has decided to take his eternity into his own hands and has quickly become an extremely famous musician. On the surface he is arrogant, self-assured, and reckless. On the inside he is tortured by the weight of his past and the duties that he carries on his shoulders now that he holds the Source, the spirit within the Supreme Leader that animates all immortals. He can't end his own eternity without ending vampires everywhere, so he might as well live, right?Rey is a master's student from London with a tragic past that she can only partially remember. When she meets Dr. Leia Organa, the puzzle pieces slowly start to fall together. How will she fit into this new world that she's meant to help rule? What happens when her counterpart refuses to bring her into the Blood, out of a sense of altruistic duty? She'll have to do whatever she can to get his attention. No one should carry this weight on their own.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Phasma, Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 95
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys SO MUCH for taking the time to read this. I've always been a little to nervous to attempt writing any kind of fiction, but this idea struck me and just wouldn't leave me alone. This fandom has been so encouraging and inspirational and I just love you guys. Hopefully you enjoy the joining of my two favorite worlds: Star Wars and The Vampire Chronicles- specifically The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned. 
> 
> Thank you to my wonderful beta readers. You know who you are!

__

_Los Angeles, June 2019_

“Come _on_ Rey, let’s _go_! We’re gonna miss the opener if we don’t get moving!” Rose’s voice drifted up the stairs to Rey’s room, and spurred her into action. 

With a shake of her head, Rey stood and appraised herself in the full-length mirror hanging off of the closet door. She was dressed in leather high-waisted pants with a white button-up shirt French tucked into the front to expose the large silver belt buckle. She popped open the top three buttons of the shirt to expose a black bralette that showed off _just_ enough to keep it interesting. With one last glance in the mirror, and a deep breath, she turned and hurried down the stairs.

“I’m here! Chill out. Can you throw me my boots?” Rose chucked the tan ankle boots across the room and watched as Rey plopped onto the couch and pulled them on her feet. 

“You look super cute. Trying to take someone home tonight?” Rose asked, with a raised eyebrow. 

  
_Oh Rose, you have no idea._ “No, I was just trying to blend in. Is this appropriate for a Knights of Ren concert?” She stood and spun in a circle.

“Honestly, you’d need a lot more black and probably a pair of Tripp pants to actually blend in, but you’ll do.” Rose was wearing a _Korn_ t-shirt tucked into a pair of ripped up black jeans with fishnets underneath. As a true KOR fan, she would definitely blend in. She bent over to grab her phone off the couch. “Oh! Finn’s here. Do you have everything?” 

“Sunglasses, gum, rolling papers, and party supplies. I think we’re good.” Rey slung her bag over her shoulder and headed out the front door with Rose to hop into Finn’s car. 

“Hey guys! Rey, you ready for your first live rock experience?” Finn asked with mock enthusiasm. It was clear that he had been coerced into this outing just as much as Rey had. 

“Yeah, sure. I just need to smoke a joint first,” she said with a huff. 

Rose rolled her eyes. “Oh come on guys. It’s not like you had anything better to do tonight. Rey, what were you planning to do? Sit at home and stare at a computer screen hoping for muse to strike?”

“I’m working on a thesis, Rose. It won’t write itself!” She lit the joint in her mouth and leaned back in the backseat, letting the smoke trail out of her mouth. Her nerves slowly began to settle. Rose didn’t need to know about Rey’s ulterior motives for coming tonight. She would take the VIP pass, smile, and act the part of the supportive best friend...which she was. Of course she was. Nevermind the dreams of whiskey colored eyes staring into her soul, or ice-cold hands ghosting down her arms. And _especially_ nevermind the plush red lips on her skin…

  
“Yeah, I get it. You want to suck Victor Frankenstein’s dick, _and_ solve the ever evolving debate on the duality of man, blah, blah, blah. But would it kill you to relax? You’re going to go into cardiac arrest before you’re thirty if you keep feeding your caffeine addiction and burying yourself in research. What ever happened to being a rock star?”

Throughout Rose’s rant, Rey had her head back and her eyes closed to suppress the need to roll them. “I still write music, Rose, but I also need to make money. This fellowship is paying my bills. Plus, music and literature aren’t very different.” Rey took a long draw off of her joint before offering it to Rose, who swiftly declined. “And besides, I’m here aren’t I? Hop off my dick please.” 

Rey took a deep breath. Rose wasn’t wrong, of course. After Rey had graduated from undergrad in the UK, she had come to UCLA to study literature with a full housing stipend and a solid teaching job to supplement her research. She had met Finn and Rose at an open-mic night at a local bar the summer before beginning her studies, and they had formed a tight friendship. That summer yielded a few original songs with Rey leading vocals, Rose on the bass, and Finn on the drums. The band had played a few open-mic nights, and continued to play together on a weekly basis, but Rey’s inspiration to write had faded as she became further entrenched in her studies.

It had been Rey’s dream to make a career in music for as long as she could remember. All of those years in the British foster care system had filled her with bitterness, and music was the most productive form of escapism she could think of. She had studied hard to earn a scholarship to Royal Holloway, University of London. She got out of her horrid foster home and dove straight into her studies, earning her a one-way ticket across the pond post-grad. At first, her enrollment in the doctoral program was only a means to an end, but she quickly fell in love with the literature that was currently consuming her life. The subject matter inspired her, and filled a hole in her heart that had previously only been filled by the strum of a guitar. She hoped to one day write songs that inspired others the way the literature had inspired her. 

Rose clapped her hands in joy as they pulled into the parking lot of The Greek Theater, and Finn chimed in, “I’m just saying Rey, you’re only twenty-four. You’ve got to let loose sometimes. And where better to do it than a concert where no one knows your name?”

 _Someone knows my name._ “Okay, I get it. I have a stick up my ass. Can we move on? I would love to snag a bottle of water before the concession line gets ridiculous.” She didn’t make eye contact with her friends as she got out of the car and started heading towards the security line. 

  
“Sure!” Rose called, “God knows we’ll need it to cool off once Kylo Ren walks on stage.” She proceeded to fan herself and swoon dramatically. Finn put his arm around her and chuckled at her dramatics. Rey just rolled her eyes and shrugged. _Oh honey, again, you have no idea._

The trio pushed through security and made their way to the first bar they found. Rey ordered a bottle of water and a vodka cranberry before following Rose and Finn to the VIP pit right in front of the stage. Rose was double fisting with her pre-margarita PBR in one hand and a massive frozen margarita in the other. Finn was quite obviously planning to be the designated driver for the evening. 

“I could get used to the VIP experience. Remind me to thank your parents next time they’re in town, Rose!” Rey shouted over the hustle and bustle of the venue.

“I know! This is literally the best birthday ever.” Rey laughed lightly at Rose’s enthusiastic response. Rose had the most amazing parents that a girl could ask for. They had treated Rey like family ever since the band started playing in their garage the previous summer. Thinking of them made Rey feel simultaneously warm and empty inside. 

The trio bobbed their heads along with the opening band while sipping their drinks. They were good, and as the lights began to fade out in the arena, so did Rey’s inhibitions. About half an hour later, the opening band was ringing out their final chords and wishing the audience a good night. The sudden black out brought Rey’s attention back to the stage immediately. The crowd roared with deafening enthusiasm and Rey was jostled in the crowd, probably sustaining a few bruises.

Soft chords began to play over the keyboard, underscored by a haunting melody played on a violin. The spotlights flipped on, and as the bass line dropped, pyrotechnics shot into the sky in time with the music. The keyboardist- a tall blonde woman with piercings in her lip and a gelled mohawk- continued to play while a wiry red-headed man came in on the drums. The bassist was a tall, dark haired man standing to the left of the stage. 

  
The lights swept up to the rafters high above the stage, just in time to catch a black-clad figure jumping down to the platform at impossible speed. _Wow. Subtle._ He landed smoothly and strutted out to the mic stand with a smug smile on his face, _one hundred percent the Brat Prince of Rock and Roll_ , and opened his mouth to sing.

_Walking, waiting, alone without a care_

_Hoping, hating, things that I can’t bare_

_Did ya think it’s cool to walk right up_

_To take my life and fuck it up_

_Well did you?_

The crowd screamed at the pause in the music as Kylo Ren shrugged out of his black leather trench coat and revealed his pale bare chest and rippling muscles. He leaned over the stage monitors seductively and made eye contact with the camera streaming the concert on the big screens on either side of him.

_I see hell in your eyes_

_Taken in by surprise_

_Touching you makes me feel alive_

_Touching you makes me die inside_

_I slept so long without you_

_It’s tearing me apart too_

_How’d it get this far_

_Playing games with this old heart_

_I’ve killed a million petty souls_

_But I couldn’t kill you_

Rey had never been so captivated by a presence in her life. He was magnetic, beautiful, terrifying. Behind the cocky smile and seductive movements, Rey could feel the rawness behind his words and it shook her to her core. Tears formed behind her eyes, and while Rose and Finn jumped up and down, Rey stood planted with her eyes glued to the stage. 

The songs faded, one into another, and Rey was lost. She closed her eyes and breathed in the music like it was oxygen. When her eyes opened again, she found them locked with a pair of amber eyes filled to the brim with hunger. Without moving his gaze, he began to speak.

“This one’s new. Hope you fuckers like it, but to be honest, I don’t give a fuck. I didn’t write it for you.” His eyes narrowed. “You know who you are, Little Monster.” He gave her a crooked grin and a wink before the guitar came in with an aggressive rhythm and Kylo began to sing. 

_Hey Little Monster, I’ve got my eye on you_

_Where are you going, where are you running to?_

_Hey Little Monster, you know it’s all okay_

_I’m gonna love ya, no matter what you say_

Rey was, once again, frozen on the spot as he crooned to her. The world narrowed down to just the two of them. Nothing else existed but the sound of his voice, the warmth of his eyes, and the beating of her heart. 

_I've got love on my fingers_

_Lust on my tongue_

_You say you got nothing,_

_So come out and get some_

_Heartache to Heartache,_

_I'm your wolf, I'm your man_

_I say run little monster,_

_Before you know who I am_

She pulls in a shaking breath. _I know who you are, and I’m not running._ Maybe it’s the way he furrows his brow as he sings the last line, or maybe it’s just her imagination, but she feels like he _wants_ her to run. Maybe he likes the chase, or maybe he’s giving her a warning. Her heart is racing, sweat is pooling between her breasts, and her breathing is reaching a fever pitch; all signs of her instincts screaming for her to run. His eyes flash and she feels them lock onto the pulse point in her throat before he breaks the spell, turning away from her to re-engage the audience. Finally, Rey can catch her breath. She shakes her head and suddenly all of the sounds and smells from the arena return to her consciousness. The first thing she notices is Rose’s hand gripping her arm and the screech of her voice in her ear.

“HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE HOTTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN!” Rose was bouncing up and down, totally oblivious to the weight of what had occurred between Rey and Kylo. She thought it was just some ploy to pull in a groupie, but Rey knew better. Her heart was screaming. Finn, however, noticed. 

“Rey, you good? You’re lookin’ a little hazy.” He furrowed his brow and looked her up and down as she took a deep breath and focused on returning back to Earth.

“Yeah, I’m good. I think I’m a little crossed. That bartender gave me a heavy pour.” She gave Finn a weak smile and fished around in her bag for the bottle of water she’d bought. She took a heavy swig and gave an exaggerated “Ah!” to show that she felt much better. 

For the rest of the show, Kylo avoided Rey’s eyes. Even without the hypnotizing magnetism of his eyes, he was electric. He was alive, and owning that stage and every single person in the arena. Rey slowly began to loosen up and bob her head and sway along with the feeling of the music once again. As they drifted into “Did My Time,” the vibe of the band’s stage presence began to edge on feral. Kylo looked like he wanted to eat the audience alive, and the audience offered its neck willingly. He growled the lyrics and grinned from ear to ear, stalking the stage like a lion stalking his prey. Rey couldn’t begin to describe how beautiful he looked even as the bitter words were spit from his mouth. At the end of the song he spoke into the mic, his voice raspy and deep.

“You want more?” he asked. 

The roar of the crowd was deafening. 

Again, the vibe shifted. This band was chameleon-like in its flexibility, but somehow Kylo fit into each song like slipping on a new glove. Finally, he looked over at her, wide eyed and alive. He _winked._ Ugh. The smug bastard. She wanted to climb him like a fucking tree, feel him sink his teeth into her neck and his hands...she shook her head and he huffed a laugh into the mic before beginning the lyrics to “Hook, Line & Sinker.” His attention drifted back to the audience and she smiled in spite of herself.

_I'm a slave to your addiction_

_Your affection and your friction_

_I've got all the money to buy exactly what I want_

_But you're not for sale_

_Honey no second chances, oh no_

The song faded and the lights dropped out at the last second, and the last thing anyone in the audience saw was a flash of white teeth as the lights ghosted across Kylo’s face and the canons on the stage shot one last burst of flame. Again, the screams from the crowd were deafening, and Rey’s heart was racing. She became aware of Rose pulling her arm as the security guards led the VIP pass holders through the fenced walkway in front of the stage.

Rey stumbled over her own feet a bit as she walked behind the small troup of concert goers, but in a haze she made her way back stage and into the green room. The band was sitting scattered around the room lounging, and the smell of weed permeated the air. Rey was acutely aware of Rose gushing and squealing beside her, but her eyes were busy searching for Kylo. 

He sauntered in from behind a heavy curtain hung between sections of the green room, still shirtless, and locked eyes with her briefly before turning his attention to a tan, dark haired man speaking from behind Rey and company. 

“These are the ones you asked for, Sir.” That was when Rey became aware of the fact that all of the other VIP pass holders were gone. Rey, Rose, and Finn were the only ones left standing in the green room with the band. 

Rose spoke up with her hand over her heart. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it’s really you. I’m your biggest fan!” She was gasping, and Finn was rolling his eyes. Kylo looked unimpressed. 

“Boo,” Rey says, with a shy smile. 

He cocks an eyebrow at her, “Boo, back.” Rey holds in a giggle. She will _not_ act like a schoolgirl, damn it. 

Once again, Rose interjected. “Kylo, we loved your show. It was fabulous!”

He turned his attention to Rose. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Poe, why don’t you give these two a look around? Introduce them to the band, give them some merchandise, a drink maybe?” Rose’s eyebrows come together in confusion as the dark haired man, Poe, begins to usher her and Finn out of the green room. 

“Rey? Are you coming?” Her voice is pitched high with concern.

“She’s staying for the moment,” Kylo answers for her. He doesn’t even throw Rose a glance as he speaks to her. Rey heard Poe muttering reassurances to Rose and Finn as they were hurried out the door, followed by the rest of the band. She and Kylo are blessedly alone. She stands there, frozen by his gaze as he leans his broad frame up against the wall of the green room. 

“Why are you following me?” he asked. “What do you want?” His voice was calm and curious, not accusatory at all. He still made no move to get closer to her. Rey moved to open her bag. After fishing around for a moment, she pulled out a thick leather bound journal, with the name “A.Skywalker” engraved into the front. She lifted her gaze to meet his and stepped forward to place the journal on a coffee table sitting between them. He appraised her as she stepped back and squared her shoulders, expression unreadable.

“So, you came all this way just to return this to me? Out of the goodness of your heart?” He seemed skeptical, but kept his face schooled into a mask. “Tell me why you’re really here.” 

She took a deep breath. She was ready for this. “I want you to show me what it’s like.” 

His expression changed immediately. He took a half-step forward with darkened eyes and snarled, “What _what_ is like, exactly?” 

She didn’t flinch as he drew his lip back over his teeth. She answered coolly, “To be like you.” 

“I don’t have time for this.” He stepped forward to leave the room, but he was conflicted. She could see it in his eyes.

“All a vampire has is time.” He froze and turned his gaze to her. He eased towards her, stalking his prey. She was willing and totally wrapped up in his spell. This was what she wanted. Her whole life, she had felt empty, like something was missing. The dreams, the constant feeling of being watched, the hunger for more that was never satisfied, the answer to all of it was in his arms. She just knew it. 

He was so close to her now, and she could feel his breath on her skin, ghosting across her lips. She kept her hands at her sides, showing complete submission. “Stubborn little monster,” he mutters under his breath. She can feel his lips ghosting across her cheek bone, breathing her in before he leans back and looks into her eyes. “You have that look in your eyes, from the alley, when you called me a monster.”

She shrunk slightly under his gaze. Her eyes drifted shut as he shifted to stand behind her. Her breath came more quickly, but she was able to sigh out her words, “You are a monster.” The words came with no malice. It was just the truth. He was a monster, but he was beautiful, and captivating, and everything she’d ever wanted. 

He gently pulled her hair from her neck and she shivered as she felt it feather over her hypersensitive skin. His hands moved down her arms to lace his fingers through hers. His skin was cold, but smooth and soft, and comforting in a way that didn’t feel entirely natural. His lips trailed up the shell of her ear. 

“Yes, I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to give me ideas for what you want to see in the coming chapters. I have an idea of what the next Chapter is going to look like, but I'd love to hear from you. Comments and constructive criticism are so welcome! 
> 
> [Spotify Playlist ](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2yrsbS4F4KAYW4Lt804Buy?si=DLlg3XbiTHSYopodMLyE3A)
> 
> Kylo Ren's opening song is based on [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCajucE048E)
> 
> [Rey's Outfit](https://pin.it/1mQXEUu)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re suggesting I allow some slip of a girl to usurp me? You’re suggesting I bring her into the Blood to facilitate a coup?” He was growing angry now. Kylo had given everything to the darkness, given his body to the Source, and devoted his existence to leading The Order. How dare his uncle suggest that he give any of it up? And for what, some altruistic need for balance and unity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> This chapter sucked me into this story HARD. I finally feel like I have an idea of where I want things to go, and I'm fleshing out the outlines for the coming chapters. I will be updating tags and linking relevant information in the end notes. 
> 
> I decided on Evanescence for Rey's musical inspiration. This chapter includes some really fun covers that Amy Lee has done solo, and with the band. I'm going to link them in the end notes. Especially be sure to listen to Going to California. It's soooooo good. 
> 
> Writing this fic has given me the creative outlet that I didn't know I needed. I've drawn so much inspiration from Anne Rice, and fallen back in love with some of my favorite characters. There are a few quotes from her work in here that have been adapted to fit the narrative, and since they're paraphrased I haven't cited them directly, but if you pick them out then 10 points to Gryffindor. I've started seeing character parallels that I didn't see before, and really making connections that I just can't wait to keep building. I really hope you guys love them as much as I do. 
> 
> I also want to go on record as saying that, while I love Queen of the Damned (the film) for its personal nostalgia, it has very little merit in terms of its relativity to the literature. The depth of Anne Rice's writing and world building is absolutely impossible to capture in an hour and a half on screen, but that's very little excuse for the misrepresentation of Lestat's character, the made up relationship with Jesse, Lestat's backstory...it was just a mess. 
> 
> All that being said, it's a sexy movie with a GREAT sound track that my teenage heart fawned over, and it still holds a very special place in my heart, despite my English teacher brain screaming "BUT THE BOOK." I will likely continue to pull inspiration from both the books and the movie, as well as the SW universe. 
> 
> This chapter is written from Kylo's POV, and things get a little steamy towards the end. We're going back in time friends!

__

_Los Angeles, March 2019_

_The girl was running, but nothing was chasing her...at least nothing she could see. She was running with purpose, her heart pounding in her chest. She approached a gate shrouded in ivy and moss. One soft push and the gate was open. Behind it stood a dilapidated stone castle that beckoned to her, despite the sense of foreboding that she could feel in her gut._

_In her head, she could hear ancient whispers as she slowed to a walk. She could not make out the voices, but somehow she knew they were talking about her, urging her on. She inclined her chin and straightened her shoulders as she walked up the hill to the open gate of the castle._

_The voices inside grew louder as she drew further into the castle. They were almost a hum now, thrumming with anticipation. Upon entering a large room, she noticed a poorly defined, hunched silhouette of a man sitting on a throne. She continued to draw closer to him, until she found her legs could no longer move. She opened her mouth to speak to the old man, but no words came from her mouth._

_The old man opened his eyes._

_The voices intensified._

_The girl opened her mouth to scream._

Kylo jolted out of the dream with a gasp and immediately felt a presence. Luke. _What is that meddling piece of shit doing in my house?_ He rolled his eyes, threw his legs over the plush red velvet edge of his coffin, and threw his headphones across the room. He made his way through the hallways of the LA mansion cautiously, making a point to check on the mortal musicians that he’d taken into his care. It would be unlike his uncle to kill an innocent, but one could never be too careful. He didn’t have time to replace a musician this close to a show. 

Kylo sauntered into one of the mansion’s sitting rooms to find his uncle perched on the couch with the latest copy of _Rolling Stone_ in his hand. Kylo’s face was plastered on the cover. Luke lowered the magazine when he felt Kylo enter the room. 

“Ben. It’s good to see you, kid.” He had the audacity to smile. 

“And you.” Kylo did not smile back. “It’s Kylo, now.” He looked Luke up and down. “Did you come to ask forgiveness? To save my soul?” Kylo asked sardonically. Luke had attempted, centuries ago, to guide Kylo into a more pious way of living but Kylo had no interest in serving any god but blood. 

Luke just stared at Kylo impassively, so Kylo kept talking, unable to handle the silence. “Still wearing the old robes, I see.”

Luke smiled at that. “Old habits die hard.” 

“How did you manage to slip through the 50’s in red velvet?” Kylo said with a look of disgust.

“The same way you made it through the 20’s with your hair down to your shoulders like a heathen. I slept.” 

“Don’t think you missed much.” 

“Elvis?” Luke asked, with a raised eyebrow. 

“Elvis, yes.” 

Luke threw the copy of _Rolling Stone_ down on the table and fixed his icy blue eyes on Kylo. “You’re bigger than he is now.” Luke raised an eyebrow at Kylo, waiting for the explanation to come. Kylo had other ideas. 

“So, after all these years, what’s the occasion?” Kylo opened his arms in invitation, or in challenge. He was itching for a fight. Luke paced away from him to stare out the window at the blinding lights of the Los Angeles skyline. 

“You’ve just become very hard to avoid these days. After you...took over Snoke’s position and absorbed the Source, your presence has permeated every thread of the link amongst the undead. Now you’ve infiltrated the mortal world with almost as much salience.” He laughed without humor. “You sure know how to make an impression. What are you trying to prove, Ben?” 

Kylo rolled his eyes and scoffed “Oh, please. It’s a little late to try to come off all avuncular now isn’t it? Two-hundred years and not a word from you or from mother.” 

Luke starred at Kylo in disbelief. “You took _everything_ from your mother and I. Especially her. And now you’ve done it again with this thirst for the limelight. This isn’t the time to settle old scores, Ben.” 

Kylo squared his shoulders and stepped into Luke’s space. “Vampires don’t settle old scores; we harbor them.” He averted his eyes and sighed. “So how did you find me?” 

This time it was Luke’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’re not exactly difficult to find. Plus, your mother’s been watching you. She told me to look for the most outrageous house on Rodeo Drive and I would find you.” He smiled, and for the first time that night, Kylo felt his lips pull back into the ghost of a smile.

“Come. Let me show you the kingdom that Snoke left behind,” Kylo said with a hint of sarcasm. Kylo led Luke to the edge of his balcony, and the two of them took to the air. Within seconds they were perched on top of the Hollywood sign, looking down on the hustle and bustle of the city, fully alive at night. The cacophony of car horns, blaring music, and the occasional breaking of glass broke through the darkness of the night, and Kylo was at peace. These were the sounds of _life_ , something he cherished so greatly that it caused the emptiness in his chest to ache. 

Luke laughed a little under his breath. “Impressive. If you don’t mind the metallic sounds that make your ears feel like they’re bleeding, or the primitive sounds of humans running around like animals.” 

“Out there, my fans, they worship me. Millions of arms reach out to embrace, beg me to come into their lives.” He paused, revelling in the smell of gasoline and sweat wafting up from the streets below. “Don’t you see? This is a new age. It requires a new evil. I am that new evil.” _An evil for these times destined to move through the world i_ _n a handsome human guise._ It was spoken with a deep sense of longing. Kylo knew that his mortal fans would run scared if they knew his true nature, but he didn’t care. He lived in the light; he was known. 

“It’s everything you’ve ever wanted,” Luke said proddingly. 

“With all my black little heart,” Kylo said with a grin and a flash of his fangs. 

“So the subservience of the undead wasn’t enough for you? You needed the mortals to love you too?” Luke’s tone was accusatory, but curious in the same breath. 

“Our kind don’t love me. They fear me. Immortality is empty. Living in the shadows, feeding in the darkness, it rots into a solitary, hollow existence. I wanted more than solitude and blind obedience born out of instinct. These mortals? They love me.” Kylo’s brow creased in surprise. He couldn’t believe he had been that vulnerable with his uncle, but he couldn’t take it back now. 

Kylo’s mind went to Snoke. He thought of the night that he caught Snoke off guard and latched onto his neck and bled him dry. He thought of the moment he had absorbed Snoke’s final heartbeat, the overwhelming feeling of his own head pounding and his heart bloating so full of blood he thought every vein in his body would burst. He remembered the bitter taste of Snoke’s blood and the burning sensation he felt as the Source entered his bloodstream. He had thought he would die, but he didn’t. He thought that perhaps that may be his only accomplishment, that he had survived for the sake of all who lived in the Blood and relied on the Source to keep them alive. He knew that if he died, so would they. He had hoped that the exertion of taking the Source fully into himself would send him into an eternal dream-state, much like he had read about in the ancient histories, but fortune had refused to release him.

So here he was now: whole and still fully undead. And, while he stubbornly accepted that fact, he honestly had no clue why. It was of no great consequence. He was a rockstar, and Supreme Leader of the Order of the Blood.

“Do you ever think of anyone but yourself?” Luke asked, bringing Kylo back to the present. 

Kylo slid his defensive mask back into place, all sense of vulnerability vanishing. “I only have myself. Snoke taught me that.”

“Well, I think it’s time to get ready for some company.” 

Kylo scoffed and gazed back out at the skyline. “Stop talking in riddles, old man. Get to the point.” 

“Your music has awakened a very... _old_ bloodline. I doubt she even knows it yet.” Kylo’s eyebrows creased and he cocked his head in confusion. “Can’t you hear it?” Luke leaned in and whispered, mockingly. “Or is the applause all you can hear now?” Kylo narrowed his eyes at Luke before closing them in concentration. 

With a deep breath, he connected with the Source inside him. He was quickly sucked into a vision.

_The girl is sitting on a throne in a room made entirely of marble. There is another throne beside her, but the figure sitting on it is unrecognizable. There are torches flanking her on either side, and she is staring out at the throne room impassively. Her eyes are glowing from a fresh kill and her lips are stained with red and glistening against pale skin. She’s dressed head to toe in a black robe that further accentuates her pale features. As her tongue flicks out to lick the blood from her lips, Kylo catches a glimpse of her fangs._

Kylo jolted out of the vision with a gasp. “A Palpatine.” He knew it immediately. There was no mistaking the glow in the girl’s eyes. _The same girl from the dream._ It was the purest representation of the Source he had ever seen. It mimicked the glow that his own eyes had when he was well fed. 

Luke nodded. “The last of her bloodline. Still mortal.” Kylo relaxed immediately. 

“So she poses no threat.” This seemed obvious to him. If the girl was human, she would die of old age eventually, or someone would kill her. _He_ could kill her if he really wanted to get this over with quickly, and absorb what was left of the Source in her blood. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. 

“Until one of Snoke’s loyalists gets to her and turns her. Just because he’s dead doesn’t mean you’ve won their loyalty. She’s the only other being in this world that has the Source in her blood, Ben. She’s meant to be one of us. She’s the future of our kind, and the only way to ensure total unity within The Order.”

“You’re suggesting I allow some slip of a girl to usurp me? You’re suggesting I bring her into the Blood to facilitate a coup?” He was growing angry now. Kylo had given _everything_ to the darkness, given his body to the Source, and devoted his existence to leading The Order. How _dare_ his uncle suggest that he give any of it up? And for what, some altruistic need for balance and unity?

“I’m suggesting you protect our heritage. Share the throne, the burden of hosting the Source.” Luke made his suggestion as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was as if he didn’t know his nephew at all. 

“I don’t share, uncle.” Kylo was nearing the end of his rope, and this discussion was growing tiresome. He needed to think, to feed. No, he didn’t technically _need_ human blood anymore. Not since taking the Source, the ancient blood of the original vampire, from Snoke. But, he _craved_ it nonetheless. More than anything, he needed to be anywhere that Luke was not. He began to stand and make his leave.

Luke was growing frustrated, and made one final attempt to reason with his stubborn nephew. “You don’t control fate, Ben. You’re not a god!” 

Kylo scoffed at that. Of course he was a god. What being on earth was more powerful than he? “Well then, who am I to steal the girl’s mortality?”

He jumped off of the Hollywood sign without a backwards glance and flew through the clear night air, leaving Luke staring after him. 

* * *

After his conversation with Luke, it came as no surprise to Kylo that he ended up at Maz’s Cantina the next night sitting across the table from his mother. He had forgotten how striking she was with her dark hair and eyes completely untouched by time. Her presence radiated warmth and goodness, and he could not make eye contact with her. Even after all this time, he did not feel worthy. He just swirled his wine around and watched the legs drip down the sides of the glass. His ears were ringing with the sound of the bustling bar around him. 

Maz’s Cantina was neutral territory, as declared by Kylo at the beginning of his reign just over two decades ago. It was important for The Order to have neutral ground in which to commune, while also going completely unnoticed by mortals. No humans were to be harmed inside the bar, so naturally it was bustling on a Saturday evening in Los Angeles.

Maz, one of the oldest vampires to declare loyalty to Kylo in the early days of his reign, made a point to host events that brought in human business. The more hustle and bustle, the easier it was to hide in plain sight. The noise was currently serving as a reprieve for the awkward silence that lingered between Lord Kylo Ren and Leia Organa-Solo.

Kylo cleared his throat uselessly. “So, what brings you all the way out here? I thought you were still in London teaching the blue blooded mortals?” Kylo scoffed as his mother flagged down a cute little blonde waitress and ordered a margarita. 

“Oh, nothing much. I heard your Uncle was in town, and wanted to catch up with him,” she said a little too innocently. Kylo didn’t buy it. He knew that if Luke knew about the girl, his mother knew too. He hated that he was the last to know when he should have been the first; he was the goddamned Supreme Leader after all. 

“Cut the shit. It’s been over two centuries now and what? You’ve decided to forgive me? To make-nice?” His voice had continued to rise in volume until he was almost yelling. He cut himself off and leaned back in his chair, shoving his hair out of his face and crossing his arms. This was a habit of his, using anger as a mask for his pain. The pain of betrayal cut deep with Luke, but the loss of his mother and the memory of the fear in her eyes when he…it was so much worse.

He _refused_ to think about it. 

Leia leaned across the table and reached out to touch him. He leaned out of her reach, but she persisted and her fingertips made contact with his cheek bones. “Son, look at me.” She waited for him to meet her eyes before she continued, and she did not move her hand. “I forgave you a long time ago.” 

Kylo brought his hand up to his eyes to wipe away the traitorous tears of blood that threatened to fall from them. This was not the time nor the place for this conversation, so Kylo leaned out of his mother’s touch and looked away. “As much as I’d love to indulge your sentimentality, I can only mask my presence in public for so long before mortals start to recognize me. Do you want to tell me why we’re here?” 

As the words tumbled out of his mouth, Kylo felt a presence and his spine tingled. His mother gave him a knowing look and turned her attention to her freshly delivered margarita, inhaling the scent of the tequila and savoring the chill of the drink. Kylo narrowed his eyes at her and turned his attention in the direction of the presence. 

The girl was radiant. _Of course she was._ He’d thought he knew what beauty was in women, but she’d surpassed any language he had for it. As she pranced into the bar flanked by a small Asian girl and a handsome young black man, she completely commanded the room. Or, maybe she just commanded Kylo. Seeing her in his dreams and visions was nothing compared to seeing her in person. She was wearing a pair of short leather shorts that made her tanned legs look a mile long, paired with a loose-fitting black silk shirt with a neckline that dipped nearly to her navel. Kylo imagined himself licking a stripe up the middle of her body, from her navel to her perky little tits, to that delicate neck of hers, before sinking his teeth in and savoring every last drop of her. 

His mother seemed to catch into his line of thought, because she spoke up just as he started to stand. “She’s here with me. Well, kind of. Sit down, and let me explain.” 

Kylo sat. 

“During my time in London, I took a position as a professor at Royal Holloway. I have friends in high places, as you know. All it took was a few phone calls, some forged documents and voila, Dr. Leia Organa PhD was born. That’s where I met Rey. She was a brilliant student.” 

_Rey_. So, the girl had a name. 

“At first, I thought of her as a threat. Heaven knows The Order needs another Palpatine like I need a hole in the head, but then I met her. Ben, she’s it. She’s kind, gentle, steady...everything you’re not, to be honest. The one who commands The Order _must_ be wildly imperfect, boldly pragmatic, but also capable of compromises impossible for the truly wise and truly good. She’s the other half of the Source, the piece you’ve been missing. I know that you want to end the conflict and tyranny that we had under Snoke. The turf wars? The rampant creation of fledglings? The killing of innocents? We could have real peace. But, to have that, you need her.” 

Leia’s tone was beseeching and it made Kylo want to vomit. Of course he wanted those things! It was the entire point of killing Snoke, the entire point of absorbing the Source. He had done it to save his kind from the tyranny of Palpatine’s bloodline. Kylo had thought that Snoke was the last of Palpatine’s fledglings, one of the ancients from the very inception of mankind. He thought that killing Snoke would be the end of it. He should have known that Palpatine would have kept his mortal bloodline alive as a failsafe. 

Kylo Ren was a failure, and that made him angry. So, he did what he did best; he lashed out. 

“What I _need_ is time to fucking _breathe_ ! What do you think I’ve spent these years _doing_ , mother? Sitting on my ass gorging myself on blood?” His glass shattered in his hand, earning a few sidelong glances from the mortal patrons in the bar. 

“No, just mortal pussy and thunderous applause.” Leia cocked an eyebrow and scowled at him in disgust. Her pleasant façade was fading. She may have forgiven him, but that didn’t mean she liked him...especially when he acted like an unreasonable toddler.

Kylo was done. He needed to leave. He stood from his chair. “I don’t need this.” 

“Ben, don’t run. It’s enough.” His mother grabbed his arm with a force that wasn’t to be argued with. 

“It’s Supreme Leader Ren, to you Leia,” he snarled in response. His eyes flashed and he used his mind to push her out of his way as he continued to walk away. Still, it was clear that his stubborn nature was genetic. 

“Stay. Rey is playing with her band. Listen, and watch. Make your own judgement.” Leia’s voice was resigned, but she hadn’t given up. 

Kylo stood still for a moment with his eyes closed, and allowed himself to connect with the Source that he felt coming from the girl. He could smell her from across the bar - _vanilla, smoke, cinnamon, bourbon_ \- and he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Without turning his head back to his mother, he nodded and walked into a dark corner of the bar where he could brood in peace. 

As Kylo leaned into his corner, he watched Rey run up to Leia and embrace her excitedly. _Put your arms around me. Hold me like that._ He made a point not to listen to their conversation, even though he could if he chose. Nothing the girl, _Rey,_ or his mother said mattered as it was all said under false pretense. He watched them talk, watched as Rey introduced his mother to her friends, watched them shake hands and exchange pleasantries. Kylo was continually shocked at his mother’s ability to blend in with modern humans. She’d always been able to flit in and out of the times without so much as a slip in vernacular. He envied her. Kylo’s time with Snoke had left him isolated and completely behind on the times until he had made his entrance into the world of rock music with reckless abandon. Some might say he was overcorrecting...just a bit. 

Leia reached out a hand to cup Rey’s face, and Rey leaned into it and smiled, squeezing Leia’s hand as she pulled away and started toward the small stage at the front of the bar. She clumsily stepped onto the stage, the platforms of her Doc Martin boots clearly not forgiving enough, and walked up to the keyboard that was arranged in front of a microphone. The other two, _Rose and Finn_ , Kylo had gathered from the thoughts of the mortals around them, prepared themselves as well with the girl on bass and the boy on the small drum kit at the back of the stage. Rey stepped up to the microphone, seeming totally comfortable in the light of the stage. 

“Hey everyone! We just want to thank you guys for asking us to play tonight, especially you Maz. You’re the best.” The girl knew Maz? Maz knew the girl? He really _was_ the last to know. His fists clenched. “I know we show up for open mic nights pretty often, so I’m glad you’re not sick of us yet.” This earned her a chuckle from the bar patrons. “Um, I’m Rey. This is Rose and Finn. We’ve got a few covers prepared for tonight, so hopefully you like them. We’re gonna start off with an oldie, but a goodie.” 

Rey’s fingers began to twinkle over the keys and she crooned into the microphone, 

_Oh, I wana dance with somebody_

_I wana feel the heat with somebody_

_Oh, I wana dance with somebody_

_With somebody who loves me_

Her rendition of the pop song was slow and sensual, just her and the keyboard. Kylo could tell she was just getting her vocal cords warmed up. As her fingers slowed over the keys, and she ended her last note, she smiled up at the gathered audience. 

“I know that’s a bit slower than what we usually do, but I’ve been working on that arrangement for a while. Let’s take it up just a bit. Hopefully my 90’s babies know this one!” Rey pulled away from the keyboard and reached for a guitar that was sitting on the other side of the stage. She pulled up a stool and sat in front of the second microphone on the stage. She began to finger-pick the strings. 

_She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak_

_I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks_

_I've been drawn into your magnetar pit trap trap_

_I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black_

_Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint_

_Forever in debt to your priceless advice_

_Hey! Wait! I've got a new complaint_

_Forever in debt to your priceless advice_

The band played softly behind her so as not to drown out her acoustic guitar, but her voice needed no accompaniment. Rey’s voice was raw, powerful, and absolutely haunting. When he listened to her sing, he felt connected to the Source in a way that he never had before, even when he was draining the last bit of it from Snoke’s dying corpse. He was completely spell-bound. He had to have her, just as he had to have anything else he’s ever wanted; or to do anything he’d ever wanted to do. 

She sang two more songs, a sweet duet of _You’ve Got a Friend_ with Rose, and a haunting rendition of _Going to California_ that left the audience cheering for her and raising their beer bottles in a drunken salute. Rey had loosened up and gotten comfortable on the stage by this point, and was nearing the end of her set. She crossed the stage and sat back down at the keyboard.

“Okay, so we’re going to do something completely different now. Our resident metalhead, my dearest friend Rose, has made a request. Do we have any Knights of Ren fans in the room?” Kylo’s ears pricked at that. _What is she playing at?_ There were a few “whoops” from the crowd before Rey continued. “Alright, this is _Thoughtless.”_

_All of my hate cannot be found_

_I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming_

_So you can try to tear me down_

_Beat me to the ground_

_I will see you screaming_

Hearing his lyrics come from her mouth was strangely erotic for Kylo, like having a part of him inside of her mouth. The song was older, angsty, and terribly raw in its honesty. The critical reception had been a little rough, but the crowd was loving it tonight as Rey's voice surged over the lyrics and her fingers flitted over the keyboard. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Kylo noticed movement that wasn’t human. He could feel the presence of his kind easily, like a breath on the back of his neck, and this was no exception. A group of young vampires lurked on the fringes of the crowd, eyes trained fully on Rey. To the mortal onlooker they were just normal guys enjoying the view, but Kylo knew better. He listened to their thoughts, a muddled blend of _Mmmshelooksdelicious_ and _justwaituntilshegoesoutside._ He could feel their intent, and while he normally wouldn’t fault a vampire for their natural instincts, Maz’s Cantina was a safe-zone for mortals. 

Kylo’s eyes remained glued to the trio of vampires as Rey finished her song and bid the audience goodnight. She bent over to place her guitar in the case, and spoke with Rose and Finn as the lights on the stage dimmed slightly, and Kylo’s attention was momentarily captivated by the sight of her ass in her leather shorts. _I could just run my hands up those thighs and bite it..._ By the time he had torn his attention back to the vampires that posed a threat to her safety, they were gone. Kylo looked up, and Rey was making her way out of the bar _alone._ _Where the fuck are her friends? Who lets a girl like that go outside in the dark by herself?_ Kylo was across the room in seconds, moving too fast for the drunken mortals to notice him at all. He opened the door and took in the scene before him. 

Rey was standing in the middle of the dark alley, a lit joint in her hand, surrounded on three sides by the vampires from inside the bar: a blonde and brunette male and a red-haired female. Kylo could feel her fear, could smell it in the wind as her heart rate increased even as her breathing remained steady. She wasn’t one to be easily intimidated, his little girl. _His._ Part of him wanted to immediately jump in and break the necks of the scrawny little children daring to fuck with her, but he was intrigued. Something inside him was telling him to wait, to watch. 

One of the vampires, the tall blonde male, reached out to grab her wrist. She pulled away in an effort to fight him off. “Oh, come now. This will only hurt a little bit. In fact, you might even enjoy it.” He sneered at her, and Kylo cocked his head suddenly interested to see if she could fight them off. 

She struggled against the vampire’s hold while the only female in the trio came behind and grabbed her neck, tilting her head to the side, preparing to feed on her throat. Rey was still struggling, clawing with one hand and kicking her feet at the blonde male’s shins. She managed to reach around and press her lit joint into the female’s eye. She screamed, and Rey was able to break away long enough to cock her fist back and punch the blonde in the face with a sickening crack. Kylo couldn’t tell if it was his face or her hand that had broken. _Strong little monster._

The blonde snarled, all pretense of cajoling gone. “You want this the hard way? Fine.” He grabbed Rey by the throat, and Kylo had had enough. 

He came out the shadows, and stalked up behind the blonde, grabbing him by the arm and bending it backwards until it broke. _Yes._ The agonized scream that ripped from the fledgling’s throat fueled Kylo’s inner monster and his eyes flashed with bloodlust as he moved to subdue the female and her partner. Rey fell to the ground in an effort to get out of the way. Kylo hissed to show his fangs and made his identity known to the offending vampires by entering their minds with a sharp _MINE._ Their eyes widened and they retreated with a hushed _Yes, Supreme Leader_ coming from the mind of the blonde male. 

He took a deep breath to calm the boiling rage inside of him. He was alarmed at the level of possessiveness he was feeling for Rey, but it was more than that. The fact that these young vampires had the gall to attack on neutral ground was a direct challenge to his authority. It made him uneasy. 

Rey was still on the ground gathering her wits when he turned to her. 

“Boo.” 

She looked at him, and the first connection with those hazel eyes immediately calmed any uneasiness he felt. _Warm. Home._ The Source was screaming in his blood, and begging him to touch her. He was helpless to fight it. He reached out his hand to help her up, begging her with his eyes to accept him. 

She reached a hand out tentatively, _no broken bones then,_ the tips of her fingers sliding against his. He felt his heart skip at the contact, and her breath became more shallow. She slid her hand fully into his and allowed him to help her stand, never breaking eye contact, before he pulled her closer. They were an arm’s length apart as he appraised her, the corner of his mouth tipping up with mirth.

“That was quite a performance. In there, and out here actually. You should be more careful.” He didn’t acknowledge the very obvious elephant in the room- his fangs extending over his lips and the golden glow coming from his eyes as he looked at her. 

“Thank you,” she muttered, still breathless. 

He let out a huffed breath. _Oh, I could just eat you up little one._ “For what?” He circled around her as she floundered for what to say, his hand ghosting along her waistline. 

“Saving me.” He was slightly taken aback by that. It should’ve been obvious, but it hadn’t even occurred to him that the girl should be grateful or what he’d done for her. He was just protecting what he had deemed as his. _Why aren’t you afraid?_

“How presumptuous.” He was standing behind her now, his fingers trailing along her neck. “So, you know Leia?” She tensed, on the defensive, which he felt was odd. If his mother was “human” then it would be completely normal for them to be acquaintances. _What else does she know?_

“I know a lot of things,” she said defiantly. _Ah, so that’s why you’re not running scared little one._

“Not how to stay alive apparently,” he said with a chuckle. This was a fun game. He would enjoy it. He continued to circle her, a hunter putting his prey in a trance. 

“Well, I guess we have that in common,” she quipped. _Oh, that mouth._ “Although I think I’m a little ahead of the race here.” She was breathless, playing along with his game. He stepped into her space, pushing her against the brick wall behind her. He grabbed both of her wrists, and pinned them against the brick. She didn’t resist him. _No fear. Delicious._

"I can fix that,” he whispered in her ear. He planted a kiss to the side of her neck, lips sucking ever so slightly as she melted into his hold. He wanted this to last. “Tell me, what else do you think you know?” 

“I know all that I need to know about you.” She was still holding on to her defiance. 

“You do?” He pulled back to look at her eyes, needing the warmth from her hazel irises to chip away at his frozen spirit. 

“I know that you’re a monster,” she breathed. He could tell that she meant it, but he could also tell that she was not afraid. Whatever this pull was, she felt it too. 

Kylo smiled, a little dash of affection seeping into his gaze. “Ah, you do.” He bent down and pressed his forehead to hers, and allowed his lips to whisper across hers. He wanted more. He wanted to claim her. He could taste her breath on his tongue. She was trembling. “You’re shaking.” 

“C-cold,” she stuttered against his lips. He moved his hands from her wrists to her neck and pressed his body closer to hers, fully covering her against the wall. 

“Still cold?” She shook her head in between his hands. He marveled at how his hands could nearly wrap twice around her neck when linked together. She was so small, so frail. “So, tell me more about me. Go on.” Kylo moved his hands from her neck to her waist, holding her still firmly against him. His lips began a light trail from the pulse point under her ear down her neck to her collar bone, and lower still….

“You want, _ah_ ,” she stopped with a sudden intake of breath as Kylo scraped a fang across the swell of her right breast just enough to draw blood, right on the edge of her nipple where the veins stood out the most. He suckled her lightly and _oh God, how can anything be this good, it’s like she was made for me, holy fuck her blood is like liquid fire,_ before pulling away just enough to speak.

“Go on, say it.” He was panting with need, but he was determined to be gentle. He returned to the tiny gash on her skin and lapped at it with his tongue, his fingers gently caressing her sides now, keeping her calm and focused on him.

“You want to walk with the living. You want to be known.” She gasped out the words, and Kylo felt the muscles in her abdomen clench as he pulled at the wound one last time, this time sucking her nipple into his mouth and lightly scraping it with his teeth. 

He leaned back and looked at her, licking his lips as he gazed into her hazy eyes. He wanted to be angry, but he was too full of awe. The Source inside his blood was screaming out for hers. He could taste it in her blood when he drank from her, like twinkling stars, like liquid fire scorching down his throat. Hers was like no human blood he had ever tasted, but also not like the Source he had taken from Snoke’s either. It was unlike anything he had ever tasted. It was pure, and purity was a rare commodity among humans and vampires alike. 

As he stared at her, a sudden, stronger, instinct took over. He needed to protect her from this, from himself. She couldn’t know that he wanted her this way. She couldn’t know that his world needed her. His mother was right. She was kind, and good, and everything he could never be. She deserved to live out her life as a free young woman. 

She deserved to be human. 

He schooled his expression as he gazed down at her. “Hm. Clever little monster. Palpatine.” He spit the name at her. Let her stew on it. Let her feel the derision in his tone. Let it push her away. “Don’t worry Rey, your kind never satisfies my thirst.” _Only because I will never get enough of_ _you._ He stepped back away from her and dropped her hands, ready to take his leave. She seemed to accept this, still in a daze from giving her blood. After his back was turned to her, he heard her voice break through the silence. 

“Kylo, I know something else about you.” She sounded unsure of whether she was ready to play this card. 

He turned to face her, inclining his chin in challenge. “What?”

She took a breath. “Your real name isn’t Kylo, is it?” When he didn’t speak, she continued. “It’s okay, Ben. You have the future now, if you’ll let the past die.” 

She turned away from him and walked back into the bar, completely oblivious to the tear that definitely _didn’t_ fall from Kylo’s eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOOOOO steamy! 
> 
> So? How much does Rey know? What has Leia told her? Why do Luke and Leia have so much animosity towards Kylo? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Next chapter will go back a little bit further to show Rey's perspective and answer a few of these questions. Fair warning, our girl has the mega sad, which will be reflected in the tags. 
> 
> [Rey's outfit](https://pin.it/61vMAJ2)  
> [Rose's aesthetic](https://pin.it/48iMnvf)  
> [Rey's boots](https://www.drmartens.com/us/en/p/26088001)  
> [Kylo's go-to outfit](https://pin.it/7L8ojkH)  
> [Amy Lee singing "I Wana Dance with Somebody](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYvEMNJCwyg)  
> [Amy Lee and Paula Cole "You've Got a Friend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR-v1Xr90CA)  
> [Amy Lee singing "Going to California" ITS SO GOOD](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEr8H4B8DAo)  
> [Evanescence covering "Heart Shaped Box"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMDhi5AqPuI)  
> [Evanescence covering "Thoughtless"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtC744jVWmE)  
> The alley scene was inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2eD65D57xA) scene from Queen of the Damned  
> The scene between Kylo and Luke was inspired by [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74QGZwbKq8A&t=11s) scene from Queen of the Damned


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just feel like...there’s always been something inside me, and now it’s awake. My whole life I’ve lived in fear of other people: bullies at school, foster parents, and then Plutt. I’ve always kept my nose down and just fought to stay alive. Since I woke up in the hospital, I’ve felt safer than I ever have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is super hella early because I had all of Labor Day to work on it. It's been read by one of my betas, and I couldn't wait to post it! I apologize for the lack of Kylo/Ben in this chapter, but we needed some quality time between Rey and Leia, as well as some backstory on them both. I just love them.
> 
> Please mind the updated tags before reading. I made some choices for characterization in this chapter that some may not agree with, or may find triggering. There is a fairly graphic depiction of the aftermath of a suicide attempt at the beginning of the chapter. If you don't wish to read it, please skip to the first horizontal line. I will post a general summary in the end notes and discuss my reasoning there. 
> 
> It gets better for our sweet baby, I promise.

_London, December 2018: 6 months before the concert_

Pain. She could remember it, but she could no longer feel it. She was bleeding. There was so much blood. It was warm against her skin, cradling her as it pooled under her arms and around her torso, spilling from the fresh wounds on her wrists. _What a mess this will be to clean up. I almost feel sorry for him._ She felt like she might be flying, but her body still felt so incredibly heavy. 

Movement. Noise. Someone was opening the door to her apartment. _Of all the days to forget to lock the door..._ she tried to laugh, but it only happened in her head. There was a voice now, right beside her, but she couldn’t make out what it was saying. It was meshing so beautifully with the whispers that had started to slip into her mind minutes ( _seconds, hours, days_ ) ago. The voice was telling her to hang on, when she so desperately just wanted to let go. If she listened to the whispers, she could fly. The whispers comforted her as her body began to feel lighter, but this new voice brought her back down. She started to feel the dull edges of pain again, just as more voices began to enter the room. _Why are there so many people in my flat?_

Rey felt her body being lifted and suddenly the pain was blinding. She closed her eyes, leaned into the whispers, and allowed her body to float.

* * *

_She’s standing in a room made of stone, much like the castles that litter the English countryside from the days long gone by. She feels eyes on her, hears the whispers lurking in the arches that line the hallway she walks down. Her feet are bare, and she can feel the damp stones sticking to her feet as she walks towards a mirror at the end of the hall._

_The whispers grow stronger as she closes in on the mirror, and sees her reflection flicker into view. She’s clothed in white, an extravagant ball gown falling to her feet and trailing behind her endlessly. She’s so incredibly pale, her hair is down and wild, but her cheeks are flushed and she is comforted by the sound of the whispers that stream in from around her. On an impulse, she reaches out to touch the mirror and when she does, she feels the presence of the whispers materialize into the physical, forming a line behind her. Her gaze drifts back to watch as a withered grey hand reaches up to rest on her shoulder. It sends a chill down her spine._

_When she turns back to look in the mirror, it shatters._

* * *

_Jesus Christ, why is it so bright?_ The fluorescence burned, even through her closed eyelids. In the dark recesses of her consciousness she registered an incessant beeping, and she longed for the strength to punch whatever the source of it was. She desperately wanted the comfort of unconsciousness and the soft embrace of the whispering voices. _The voices._ She remembered her dream then. She remembered the comforting warmth of the voices that had slowly melded into one, culminating in a chilling hand resting on her shoulder. She heard the sound of the glass shattering in her mind and instantly, her eyes flashed open.

The sight that greeted her was less than welcome. The offensively white ceiling and benign beige walls that surrounded her meant that she was alive. _Fuck_ . She had thought this was all over, that she was free from _him._ She thought that she had felt his fists against her bones for the last time, and suffered through saccharine sweet apologies for the last time. “ _Honey, you know I’d never hurt you that way on purpose.”_ She thought she was free from fake smiles and muttered tales of her own clumsiness to explain the bruises that she tried desperately to cover with an absurd amount of makeup. After all she had been through, she couldn’t even die properly. A bitter laugh mingled with tears as reality hit her. She was fucked. He was going to kill her next time. _At least then I’ll be properly dead._ Though he wouldn’t make it nearly as easy.

As she lay there, drowning in a fit of self-loathing and fear, the door to her hospital room opened and the room was infused with a breath of fresh air. This was the last person she expected to see: Dr. Leia Organa. Rey had only taken one class with her at Royal Holloway, but she had been an absolutely captivating lecturer. She was one of the few women Rey looked up to. Leia had her shit together, and it was obvious.

When Leia’s eyes landed on Rey, they were gentle, forgiving, and seemed to say, _I see you._ Out of shame, Rey lowered her eyes. She was embarrassed, terrified, and, to be honest, _very_ confused about how she had survived. Rey watched from the corner of her eye as Leia smiled gently and approached her bedside.

Leia reached out a hand to rest on Rey’s bandaged forearm. It was cool against her skin. “I’m really glad you’re still here, Rey.” _But I’m not._ Guilt bubbled in her stomach, and tears burned behind her eyes. 

“Yeah? As you can see, I’m not exactly in the best of spirits. Thanks for coming to visit. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How was your semester? Excited for the holiday?” Rey was doing her best to pull the attention away from herself. She was grateful for Leia’s presence, she really was, but she just didn’t have the energy to talk about herself. The deflection technique had worked reasonably well whenever anyone would ask her uncomfortable questions about _him_ or the bruises.

Leia played into Rey’s game for a moment. “Yeah, honestly. I have one more set of finals to plow through, and I’ll be all set. I’m heading back to the states after December graduation. It’s time for me to settle back on home turf. Have you made any plans for next semester?” Leia raised an eyebrow at Rey, and looked pointedly at her bloody bandages. 

_I hadn’t exactly planned to be alive. I still haven’t figured out how I am._ “No, I haven’t. I’m assuming they’ll keep me here for a while after the erm... _accident._ I’ll miss the commencement ceremony, but it’s not a big deal. I guess I could start applying for editing jobs or something. I just want to be anywhere but here, to be honest.”

Leia’s eyes twinkled and she squeezed Rey’s hand. “If I remember correctly, you have a particular affinity for Victorian Era literature, am I correct?” 

Rey nodded. She’d always been fascinated with the Victorian Romantic Era, and the Gothic literature that had spawned from it. 

“I’ll look into some options for you...assuming you _want_ options.”

“Well, considering _this_ didn’t exactly work out as planned, I’ll consider it.” Something else was tugging in the back of Rey’s mind through the fog of the fading pain meds. “Leia, how did you know I was here?” 

Leia tensed momentarily before she looked Rey directly in the eye. “I’m the one who found you bleeding out on your living room floor.” She paused to let that sink in. “I called the ambulance, and made sure you got settled in. You’ve been out cold for awhile. I had just come back when you woke up this evening.” 

“Why did you come to my flat?”

“Oh, dear, I just wanted to drop off your graduation present. We had been missing our coffee dates for a while, but you’ve never been far from my mind, kid.” She patted Rey’s hand softly. Rey’s eyes welled again. “I’m glad I got there when I did. When you’re ready, _if_ you’re ever ready, we can talk about what happened. Until then, I thought you might want some reading material.” She reached in the messenger bag that was slung over her shoulder and fished out a black, leather bound journal and handed it to Rey. 

Rey took the journal, wincing at the pain as the bandages stuck to the vertical gashed along her wrists. She gripped the soft leather in her hands and looked at Leia with a question in her eyes. “What’s this?”

“It was my father’s. You’re going through some personal shit right now, and I have a front row seat. I figured you’d enjoy reading about someone else’s personal shit. I thought you might..connect with it.” _Rey looked at the_ journal and nodded, not meeting Leia’s eyes as she stood to leave. “They say they’re gonna discharge you in the morning. I’ll be here to pick you up.” 

Rey’s eyes snapped up at that. “Oh, um, I figured Plutt will be here to get me at some point. He’s probably wondering-” Rey stopped talking as Leia’s eyes turned dark.

“He’s been taken care of,” Leia said, with a tone that brokered no further discussion. “You’ll never have to worry about him again.” And with that, she walked through the door.

Rey was left sitting on her hospital bed reeling with her hands still wrapped around the journal. She shook her head, and turned her attention to the book in her hands. _Well, I guess I’ve been asleep long enough. I might as well put my mind to use._ She opened the first page.

* * *

Rey was jolted out of sleep the next morning by the sound of her hospital door being opened. She realized she had fallen asleep with Anakin's journal open face down on her chest, and flashes of the jarring tale came flooding back to her as if she had dreamt them as well as read them. 

_Blood on teeth, dripping from a pale face and ice cold fingers gripping his throat_

_His mouth open in a scream that would never come_

_The taste of blood, hot, sweet blood, in his mouth for the first time_

_The birth of his children_

_His wife’s final breaths_

_His desperate pleas_

_Silence_

Rey was shaking. Her eyes were blurry, and she could vaguely make out the feel of Leia’s cool hands against her face, bringing her back to reality. Hazel eyes locked on to deep brown, and Rey felt her breathing return to normal. 

"There you are. I take it you finished reading the journal last night?” Leia’s tone was gentle, but her eyes shone with mischief. 

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath in, and pushed the air out, puffing her cheeks. “Leia, what the hell was that? You said it was your father’s but the dates go back to 1750...and the things he was describing...how did you get this?” She held the journal out to Leia with a questioning look in her eyes. She wanted to give it back, but was also reluctant to let it leave her possession. Somewhere in those pages, there were answers. Maybe Leia was crazy. _Who am I kidding? I just tried to off myself. I have no room to judge._

Leia didn’t take the journal. Instead, she leaned back and settled in to sit next to Rey on the hospital bed. With that same mischievous glint in her eye, she said “My friend Maz gave it to me, a year after my father brought me into the Blood against my will.” 

That shut Rey _right_ up. 

“Come on kid, we have a lot to talk about. I have somewhere I want to take you. They discharged you this morning, so go ahead and get changed. I’ll leave you a set of clothes on the chair over here.” She reached over and touched Rey’s hand again. “It’s going to be okay, Rey. I’ve got you.” Rey looked into Leia’s eyes and felt safe in a way that she never had. Something in her blood settled, and she nodded.

Rey took note of her physical state as Leia left the room. Her IV was gone, as were the more obvious bandages. She felt clean, oddly enough. _Someone probably gave me a sponge bath while I was knocked out._ The thought made her uncomfortable, but it was better than sitting in her own filth for days. Her hair was another story. 

She was grateful to find, upon inspecting the treasures that Leia had left for her, a bottle of dry shampoo and a tube of deodorant as well as toothpaste and a toothbrush. This woman was a literal angel sent from heaven. Underneath the toiletries were a pair of light-wash jeans and a tan turtleneck sweater that was so soft it made Rey’s eyes roll back in her head. _Did she buy me cashmere?_ Rey shook her head in disbelief. Leia had even remembered to pack underclothes for her, a simple pair of black cotton underwear and a sensible black bralette. She sprayed her hair with dry shampoo liberally and shook it around her shoulders before tiptoeing to the sink to brush her teeth.

Rey dressed quickly, _better to be naked as little as possible,_ and pulled on her combat boots that had been miraculously cleaned after the... _incident._ Leia had truly thought of everything, and this time Rey couldn’t hold back the tears as they streamed down her face. No one had ever cared for her this way. She had never been... _mothered._ Part of her wanted to resist, to insist that she was fine and didn’t need any help. The other, _weaker_ , part of her - the part that longed to be held and cared for - just felt safe. 

Rey jumped slightly as Leia entered the room again carrying a plastic bag containing Rey’s personal items. She handed Rey the bag, which Rey deftly deposited onto the unmade hospital bed. 

Clutching Anakin’s journal tightly to her chest, Rey followed Leia out of the hospital. 

* * *

An hour later, Leia and Rey were being driven through the English countryside in the backseat of Leia’s Bentley Mulsanne. The drive had been quiet, with Rey holding Leia’s hand and allowing herself to feel grounded for the first time in her life. She didn’t ask Leia where they were going because she didn’t care. Leia’s driver, Chewie, she'd called him, was equally silent, but he kept the radio playing on a pleasantly chill Indie station that, combined with the rain pattering the windows, lulled Rey into a light sleep. 

Her dreams were surprisingly pleasant as she napped. She was in that in-between state of sleep and wakefulness when she overheard Leia speaking to Chewie in soft tones. 

“How is she holding up, Princess?” Chewie’s voice was a low rumble that made Rey feel warm inside, like drinking hot tea.

“I think she’ll be okay. We’re going to see if the house brings back any of the memories that her subconscious seems to be poking at. Even if she doesn’t _remember_ , I think something in her _knows_ who she is...what she means to us.” Rey felt Leia’s thumb trace over her hand, and her eyes studying her face. 

“How do you think Little Friend is going to feel about this?” Chewie asked. 

Leia snorted a laugh. “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, at least for now. He has enough on his plate. He just took over the world not too long ago, didn’t you know?” Rey can hear the sarcasm in Leia’s voice, even as it hides the hint of a smile.

“How could I forget? That boy has always been a little too big for his britches.” Rey could hear the eye roll in his voice. As he spoke, the car began to slow and Rey’s eyelids fluttered open. Her eyes met grey skies and a vast green landscape. Somehow, in the time she’d been resting, the trio had made it to their destination. Rey lifted her head and looked out the window as Chewie turned the car down a long driveway shrouded in trees. 

Rey’s jaw dropped slightly as the car passed by a set of wrought-iron gates and stopped in front of a castle. She couldn’t speak. Her voice was caught in her throat as she wrenched open the door of the car and practically leapt out of it, walking purposefully up to the front of the castle. It started to rain. She didn’t care. She was mesmerized by the vines creeping up the facade of the castle, and her heart was pounding as she stared into the darkness of the entrance. Her eyes traveled up from the entrance to the high tower that loomed over the courtyard where the car was parked, and back down. She closed her eyes.

Rey remembered.

_She is young, and she is crying. She is standing in the same courtyard, screaming as she clings to a young woman’s skirts. “I don’t want to go!” She hears the young woman tell her that she will be safe, that she has to go. She doesn’t want to hear it. She is thrown bodily into the backseat of a car completely barefoot. It’s dark outside, the middle of the night. She’s still crying as she watches the young woman disappear as the car she is in speeds away._

She opens her eyes again and it’s still raining, but she finds that she has fallen to her knees on the stone walkway. She feels Leia’s hand on her back, and Chewie standing a respectful distance behind them. 

“I know this place.” It’s all she can say. She remembers. She remembers running the halls of this castle as a young girl, dressed in silk and lace, surrounded by people that made her feel safe. She remembers her mother’s warm embrace. She remembers when things began to change, when her mother became more distant, and started to keep her inside the walls of the castle. There had been whispers of a takeover, of unrest, and of warning.She remembers her mother putting her in a car, and never seeing her again. 

“Who are you, Rey?” Leia asks the question as if she already knows the answer.

“I’m nobody.” Denial. Deep in her bones. She couldn’t be. This wasn’t real. 

Leia narrows her eyes. “No, Rey. We both know that’s not true. Who are you?” 

Rey takes a deep breath to steady herself. She stands, faces Leia, and squares her shoulders. “My name is Reyna Palpatine, and I am the heir to the throne of The Order of the Blood.” 

Leia smiles and her eyes light up with pride. 

Chewie pipes up from behind her, his voice holding the same pride. “Hell yeah, you are!”

* * *

Rey, Leia, and Chewie made their way into the abandoned castle. The great room still held a large fireplace, and Chewie managed to scavenge some wood to get it started. While Rey and Leia explored the first floor, Chewie retrieved a quilt that Rey assumed was stored in the trunk of the car so that they could sit in front of the fire. Rey stared at the flames, her mind whirling with questions. 

“Come on dear; spit it out.” Leia bumped her shoulder against Rey’s to jar her out of her stoic mood. 

“I just feel like...there’s always been something inside me, and now it’s awake. My whole life I’ve lived in fear of other people: bullies at school, foster parents, and then Plutt. I’ve always kept my nose down and just fought to stay alive. Since I woke up in the hospital, I’ve felt safer than I ever have.” 

“That’s because you belong with us.”

“How did you become a part of this? You said you were brought into the Blood against your will. Why?” Rey wanted to know everything about Leia. Everything about herself. Somehow she knew the two were indelibly connected. 

Leia leaned back on her hands and extended her feet out towards the fire. “Do you remember, in the journal, the man that my father described as his maker?” Rey nodded her head. “That man, if a man is what you’d call him, is an ancestor of yours...biologically, that is. In life, his name was Sheev Palpatine. According to the ancient texts, he was brought into the Blood in the early days of humankind by a dark spirit. His human line carried on, and he made it his mission to carry on his line in the Blood as well. 

“By the time my father was turned in 1750, most of Palpatine’s previous fledglings had died, either from the madness of eternity or from meeting the flames at Palpatine’s order, or gone into hiding and made their own way in life. Some of them went on to have fledglings of their own; otherwise we’d be a dying race. He changed my father when he felt that his time on earth was ending. He needed a worthy heir. After he brought my father into the Blood, he jumped into his own funeral pyre after demanding my father sprinkle his ashes so he could never return. My father, a newly made fledgling filled with the oldest of bloods, the most _ancient_ of life forces, the Source itself, went mad with power.”

Leia took a deep breath before she continued. “I’ve been told that my mother died in childbirth...that he attempted to turn her at the very last possible moment, but was unsuccessful. I can only imagine that it drove him further into darkness. 

“After my mother died, my brother and I were separated. Long story short, my father came back to us years later, not as Anakin Skywalker, but as Lord Vader. He was convinced that he could still have a family, that Palpatine hadn’t stolen everything from him. He took me from my husband...from my son. Ben was only three at the time.” Her eyes were welling with tears, and blood fell from her eyes in a light stream. “I can’t speak for how the experience was for Luke. We haven’t seen one another in nearly a century, so I don’t even really know how he’s holding up. Anyway, after my brother and I refused to join him, my father decided to go into the fire like his maker.” She wiped at her tears aggressively and stood, pacing the room now. Rey could feel the energy coming from her and almost felt guilty for asking for this story, but she needed it. She had to know.

“We _thought_ , Luke and I, that the hunting would end once Anakin was dead. We hoped our family would be left alone. We were wrong. Palpatine had...a lot of fail-safes. He had created another fledgling and kept him hidden from Anakin. His name was Alistair Snoke.” 

“Was?” 

“Was. Snoke stalked my son, the last of the Skywalker bloodline, and groomed him from the time he was old enough to speak in full sentences. I did my best to keep an eye on Ben and Han, but in my father’s absence I was trying to help maintain order in our territory. Luke and I were the only blood drinkers around for hundreds of miles, but occasionally there were breaches in our borders. I didn’t even realize that my son was being stolen from under my nose. By the time he was thirty, at the peak of his mortal life, Snoke had brought him into the blood.” 

“What happened to him?” 

“My little boy died that day. He transformed into Kylo Ren, heir apparent to Lord Vader. He left his life behind and committed himself not to The Order, but to Snoke.” Leia stopped talking and smiled, just a slight lifting of the corners of her mouth. “The year you were sent away from your mother was the year Kylo Ren usurped the throne and absorbed the Source into himself. That was the year my son became Supreme Leader of the Order of the Blood.”

 _Kylo Ren? From the Knights of Ren?_ “Why would he betray his own master?” 

“You’ll have to ask him,” she said. The mischievous glint was back in her eyes, all hint of sadness gone. 

Rey narrowed her eyes at Leia skeptically. “What does this have to do with me, anyway? I’m not like you. I’m not a vampire.” 

“No, dear, that much is made obvious by the scabbed mess on your arms. What you are, is the other half of my son. You’re the only other living being in this world with the Source in your blood. When you died yesterday, and honey, _you died_ , his blood called out for you. He brought you back, whether he realized it or not.”

* * *

_Los Angeles, March 2019: 3 months before the concert_

Rey stumbled back into the comforting chaos of Maz’s Cantina and made a beeline for Leia. 

“I met him, Leia. I talked to him. I talked to Ben. You were right, about everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of opening scene: Rey is lying in a pool of her own blood after attempting suicide. She is in and out of consciousness, and has a vision before waking up in the hospital. 
> 
> My goal with writing Rey as suicidal at this point in her life was not to make her seem weak, but rather to really drive home the sense of claustrophobia that she was feeling. She was trapped in a never ending cycle of abuse, and felt she had no other way out. This is not a "damsel in distress is saved by her prince charming" narrative, but rather a way to illustrate the beginning of the bond between Ben and Rey, as well as how strong it will be. I have a picture in my mind of Ben feeling like something is pulling him (like an actual red string of fate) into death, and he just grabs onto it and yanks it back as hard as he can to bring Rey back. Of course, he has no clue what he's done, but still lol. Trust me, she will save his ass plenty of times in the chapters to come. 
> 
> I did my best with the back story for Anakin and the twins. My biggest fear as a writer is leaving giant plot holes, so if this chapter has you asking questions, let me know! Some questions are on purpose, some might not be. 
> 
> I promise our babies our babies will be back in the same room next chapter...but the angst train cometh.
> 
> [The inspiration for the Palpatine castle](https://www.messynessychic.com/2018/08/02/chateau-miranda-is-here-to-break-your-heart/)  
>   
> [Rey's outfit from Leia](https://pin.it/7HM53d3)  
> [Leia's aesthetic](https://pin.it/4Utkg7m)  
> [Since Leia was turned when she was young, think this Carrie Fisher](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod.s3.amazonaws.com/images/carrie-fisher-1977-news-photo-1587559227.jpg?crop=0.929xw:0.723xh;0.0417xw,0.0586xh&resize=640:*)  
> [Leia's sick ride](https://www.bentleymotors.com/en/models/mulsanne.html)  
> [My inspiration for Chewie as a human](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0403652/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Instead, she had never felt so alone. Instead, she was laying on a beach with her hair glued to her face by the salt of her tears and her body covered in sand. Instead, she was lying 5 yards from a dead body that her vampire not-boyfriend had brutally fed from to prove a point. Instead, she felt herself slipping into the familiar void again. She leaned into the whispers, what she now knew was the Source, her connection with her people, and kept herself afloat. Tonight, she would not sink."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! TWO UPDATES IN ONE WEEK? WHAT? I've been on a roll with this story, and I can't promise that it will keep at this pace, but I can promise that I will TRY. 
> 
> Our sweet dumb babies are back together in this chapter so we can see what's going on after that concert from chapter one! There are a lot of tonal shifts within this chapter, and I really hope I got it right. 
> 
> Also, enjoy the 600 work make out session. 
> 
> CW: graphic violence

_June, 2019 Los Angeles: backstage at The Greek Theater_

_He gently pulled her hair from her neck and she shivered as she felt it feather over her hypersensitive skin. His hands moved down her arms to lace his fingers through hers. His skin was cold, but smooth and soft, and comforting in a way that didn’t feel entirely natural. His lips trailed up the shell of her ear._

_“Yes, I am.”_

Her hand reached up, still laced with his, to wrap her fingers through his hair. _Black silk. I knew it would be._ His hand, still linked with hers in his hair, gently released from her grasp in favor of tracing down the underside of her arm, ghosting over her breast, and coming to rest at her hip. Rey still had enough of her consciousness to let out a breathy laugh. “Don’t sound so proud of yourself.” 

She felt him smile against her skin, in some ways breaking the spell, in others only making it more intoxicating. He planted a wet kiss at the base of her neck and wrapped both of his arms around her waist tightly, _a hug?,_ before turning her in his arms, being careful to unwind her fingers from his hair. 

If Rey didn’t think she was a goner before, looking into his eyes sealed her fate. _As if it hasn’t been sealed since the day I was born._ His hands rested at her waist, his thumbs drawing small circles through her shirt as if he was itching to touch her skin. His eyes dropped to her mouth and he leaned forward, stopping short to whisper, “Do you trust me?” 

Rey was taken aback by his intensity. The playful Kylo of seconds ago was gone; his soul was in his eyes as she wrenched hers away from his lips to look into them. She could feel her blood singing as she struggled not to lose herself. “Yes.” 

He closed his eyes, and his fingers flexed at her waist. “Put your arms around my neck, and do not let go. Do you understand?” 

She nodded against his chest and stood on her tiptoes to secure her arms around his neck, holding each wrist with the opposite hand. The stretch left her lower back exposed, and Rey felt Kylo’s hands slip under her shirt and caress her skin, _don’t pass out, don’t pass out,_ before holding her securely to him. 

The floor fell out from under them. 

Or at least that’s what it felt like, because Rey’s heart dropped into her stomach, and then her stomach dropped into her feet as Kylo lifted the two of them into the air at a speed her human mind just couldn’t handle. _Did we break the ceiling?_ She clung to him like ivy to an oak tree, holding on for dear life, focused on breathing in his scent _cedar, smoke, lavender, amber_ and settled in for the ride. 

The world flew past them, and Rey felt the darkness of the night sky kiss her skin. She probably should have been cold from the wind, but her skin was on fire from his touch. She had no idea how long they were in the air, but eventually her stomach settled and she was able to enjoy the caress of the night air. 

It was over too soon. She felt the plummeting feeling return to her stomach as Kylo brought them down from the air onto a _very_ precarious ledge. Rey glanced out at their surroundings and immediately clung to him even more tightly. They were standing in the small cut-out window of a tower overlooking the ocean. She barely registered the moon glittering off the waves because she felt his gaze trained on her and immediately turned back to him. 

His eyes locked with hers, and the intensity of their hunger made her knees weak with want. Her hands slid down from behind his neck to frame his face. She felt the desperation in his eyes, the deep-rooted loneliness that clawed at him, and everything in her wanted to soothe it. _Feel me. Let me keep you warm._ Her lips parted and her breath came more quickly as he leaned into her touch. Without a word, he reached a hand up the back of her shirt, clenched his fist firmly in her hair, and pulled her mouth to his with a greedy moan. 

She shivered at the feeling of his arm lined against her naked spine, his other hand still firmly gripping her waist to hold her there, _as if I would ever want to be anywhere else_. His lips against hers were surprisingly warm, and soft as velvet. She pressed her body towards him, arching her back into the kiss, and opened her mouth to sigh against his lips. She traced her tongue along the cool skin of his bottom lip, and felt him open his mouth in the small space between them, slipping his tongue against her top lip and breathing her in before capturing her mouth again. 

The inside of his mouth tasted like heaven - sweet, and warm, with a slight twinge of copper - and it made Rey dizzy as his tongue slid against hers. Rey felt his fangs against her lip, and silently begged him to bite down _just a little,_ but instead his mouth gentled, and he sucked her kiss-bruised lower lip in between both of his before pulling away slightly to look at her with his mouth hanging open. 

One of her hands moved to grip his hair, while the other held his jaw in a punishing grip, her thumb hooked on the other side of his chin. She yanked him back to her and licked into his mouth, teasing and tasting the all-consuming heat that he was giving her. _Oh God. This is love; this is desire; everything I’ve ever felt up until now has been a shadow of this._ He growled at this hint of her possession, and moved his arm from her waist, over her behind to firmly grip her thigh. She gasped, breaking from the kiss as he hitched her leg around his waist and slammed her against the thin sliver of wall behind them, holding her firmly against his growing length and protecting her from the impact with the arm still firmly planted up her back. 

He used that same hand to yank her head back to look into his eyes again. They were glowing in the moonlight, lusting after the Source in her blood that called out to him like a Siren song, and he was breathing shallow, panting breaths. 

“You are such a fucking _good_ little monster,” he whispered to her, a rough edge seeping into his voice. He leaned down to her neck, kissing and sucking up to her earlobe before sucking it between his lips, “so fucking good for me…”

Rey whimpered and ground herself against him, digging her nails into his shoulders begging for _more_. Instead, the hand in her hair loosened, and the hand gripping her thigh began a gentle caress to her knee as he set her leg down on the ledge where they stood. He gently unwrapped her hands from his shoulders and held them in both of his, bringing them in between their chests before leaning forward to press one more ghost of a kiss against her lips and stepping away.

He hopped off the ledge, barely stepping into the darkness of the tower before speaking. He pushed a hand through his hair as he began to pace back and forth like a caged animal. “Luke was right, but I never understood it until I met you.” 

Rey’s eyebrow furrowed and she tilted her head. Luke and Leia wanted her to turn. They were the ones who had told her how imperative it was for she and Ben to bring balance to the Order. “So, you’re coming around to the idea then?”

He snorted a half-crazed laugh. _Okay, then. I guess not._ “I’ve told Luke, and I’ll tell you, little one. I don’t share.” If he was trying to be intimidating, it wouldn’t work. 

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. _Okay, Mr. Supreme Leader, sir._ “Then what?” Rey almost felt sorry for her sardonic tone when his eyes fell and he slumped against the wall of the tower. He trained his gaze out the window, not meeting her eyes before speaking. 

“After I killed Snoke, I thought...I thought just _maybe_ I could have it. I wanted love, and goodness in this living death. I should have known it was impossible from the beginning because you can’t have _love_ and _goodness_ when you do what you know to be evil,” he began pacing again, his voice rising in volume, “what you _know_ to be wrong.” He paused in his steps and looked her in the eye. “Now I know that goodness exists. It’s in you, and I am the opposite of it.” 

Rey snorted. He was being ridiculous. In her eyes, evil was a point of view. “Yes, sure. A perfect devil.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and he clearly wasn’t having it. 

He stepped into her space again, his eyes flashing. He grabbed her face roughly, and her heart sped up. “Say it again.” 

They were on the edge of a slope. He was slipping into madness, and she was slipping into something else, but the edge of the slope was such a precious place to be. She wouldn’t give in just yet. She squared her shoulders and spoke through his fingers pressed against her jaw. “No. I won’t let you speak about yourself that way, and I won’t buy into your self pity. This isn’t just about _you_ anymore. This is about _us;_ this is about our families, about The Order, and the future. This is about _our_ people. Can’t you feel it in your blood? Doesn’t it sing when you’re near me? Am I alone in this?” She could feel herself trembling. Her skin was sticky with sweat, her hair was sticking to her face, and her heart was bare on her sleeve. 

His hand on her jaw loosened, but didn’t let go. “You’re not alone.” 

Rey let out a shaking breath of relief. _Progress._ “Then why are you denying what you know to be true? Ben, I’ve seen our future. Just the shape of it, but solid and clear. You won’t become like Snoke. You’ll turn me, and you’ll rule The Order of the Blood like you should have all along. And I’ll help you.” She moved her hands up to caress his ribs, trying to calm him and help him see reason, but his eyes started to glaze over with the threat of tears.

“I saw something too, and because of what I saw, I know that you could never want this...that you could never want me.” His voice was shaking, the tears still held in, refusing to slip from his eyes. 

Rey felt as if she were talking to a brick wall, but she was desperate to make him see reason. “Ben, I know you haven’t exactly reconciled this in that big head of yours, but I belong with you. No!” she cut off the protest that died on his lips before it left his mouth. “Let me finish. All of my life I’ve been a shadow. Incomplete, like I was just passing through. _Something_ inside me has always been there, and now it’s awake. Before we even touched, before we even met, I knew. I woke up that day in the hospital feeling whole, and warm, and safe, and I had no idea why. It was _you_ , Ben. So, just let me be with you.” She knew then that she loved him. Only love could create such conflict, such longing, such fear, such certainty. 

His gaze softened, and he reached a hand up to her face. “Don’t you see? You’re even more beautiful to me because you’re human. Your frailty, your short years, your humanity...it’s suddenly more precious than anything I’ve ever known. Everything in me is screaming to protect you; to protect you from _me_ , from _this._ ” 

_Frail? Frail, my arse._ “I’m not as precious as you think. You should know that by now.” She made her move, pulling a small needle from inside her sleeve. She raised her arm as if she was going to caress his face, but changed directions at the last second to slash the needle across the top of her left breast, drawing a small but steady stream of blood. 

His eyes flashed up to hers in shock, and his jaw unhinged slightly, as he fought with himself. She could feel the uncertainty in him, and wanted to kiss it away. 

“Do it.” Her voice was sure and steady. She was certain. This was her destiny, _he_ was her destiny, and she wanted him to be fully in this with her. 

He looked up at her, his eyes glowing, and leaned forward, eyes not leaving hers until he was an inch from latching onto her open wound. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders to hold him there, and allowed herself to sink into the embrace. 

Except there wasn’t an embrace. Ben had thrown himself halfway across the room to get away from her and nearly knocked her out the open window. He was braced against the wall inside the tower, his chest heaving with ragged breaths. His eyes were dilated and he snarled, like a hunter that had just had its prey snatched from its paws. He was angry, so very angry. 

“Oh, you want to belong to something so badly? Come, I’ll show you what it’s like to be one of us.” The timbre of his voice had changed. This wasn’t Ben. This was Lord Kylo Ren that gripped her arm and threw her over his shoulder as he jumped from the third story window of the tower to land in the sand with the grace of a jungle cat. _When did he take off his shoes?_

He pulled her from his back and set her on the sand before grabbing her bicep and hauling her down the beach. “Ben, what…?” She was confused, disoriented, _fuck sand and fuck leather pants_ and she was tripping over her own feet in the sand as she was dragged behind him. She wasn’t sure how far they walked, but soon enough they were not alone. Rey could see a couple walking along the beach, hand in hand in the moonlight. They looked totally happy and carefree, until Rey caught a glimpse of the man’s eyes flashing in the moonlight. _Oh. She’s dinner._ Rey felt a flash of fear for the woman on top of the deep sense of unease that was slowly settling into her gut. 

Rey felt relieved when Kylo pushed her behind him and stepped into the path of the other vampire. He opened his mouth to let out a warning snarl, and the vampire’s eyes widened in fear, clearly realizing that he was outranked. Rey glanced at the woman, who looked _completely_ confused as her “date” ran off into the night at inhuman speed. She could practically hear her heartbeat from where she stood as Kylo approached her, lithe limbs moving him swiftly across the sand. 

She watched, boots planted in the sand, as his predatory nature took over. Gone was the softness of Ben that she had grown to love, and here in its place was hunger, fear, anticipation, and rage. _Maybe I love this too._ The menace rolled off of him in waves, and Rey shivered in the night air. _Why isn’t the girl running in fear?_ He seemed to have some kind of hold on her as his eyes locked into hers and he stalked closer. 

Stupidly, Rey piped up, “Is she alright?” 

Kylo looked up at her and roared, _honestly there isn’t another word for that sound,_ before grabbing the girl by the hair and sinking his teeth into her throat. Rey’s eyes went wide, but she didn’t back down. She knew what this was. She knew what she’d have to do when she turned, but it wouldn’t be like this. He was doing everything he could to scare her away, but it wouldn’t work. She watched.

The woman was screaming. At first, all Rey could hear were nonsensical babbles of “no, stop” and “please,” but then it shifted into gurgling sounds of her choking on her blood as her being flowed into his. He just took and took as her body went from pushing against him to flailing and then eventually to complete surrender. She had lost too much blood to sustain any fight. Before her final heartbeat, he dropped her lifeless form to the sand with an unceremonious _thump._ He turned to look at Rey, and she looked back, refusing to whither under his gaze. She watched as the blood dripped from his mouth and down his neck. He licked his lips and rushed at her, grabbing her face again, bringing her inches from his blood soaked mouth. 

“Now do you see? Huh?” He was shaking her, and she was still standing strong, despite the droplets of blood that hit her face as he hissed his words at her. “Now do you want this?” He was practically snarling at her again, and this time the blood was running from his eyes as the tears fell, undammed by the adrenaline of the kill. 

“I see perfectly.” She grabbed the wrist of the hand that gripped her chin and pulled it away. “I see through the cracks in your mask. You’re haunted. You can’t separate yourself from the actions you had to take in order to survive; you can’t stop thinking that what you’ve done is what you’ve become.” She paused, trying to drive the point home. “But that’s not who you are. Not to me.” He was trembling, eyes glazed over with tears but set and resolute. 

She was trying to bring him back down, draw him in and reach Ben beneath the mask. But by the time she was done speaking he was already gone and she was on the beach alone. _Well, at least I have Becky over here to keep me company._ She sat down in the sand, ripped off her boots, flinging them across the beach, and sobbed. 

Rey didn’t know how long she sat on that beach, but eventually her sobs turned to pathetic hiccups, and her head began to pound. She laid back in the sand, not caring about the sand in her hair, and stared up at the stars. 

She had no idea how all of this could have gone so wrong. When Leia had told her about her connection with Ben, about him bringing her back from the brink of death from across an ocean, it had felt _impossible_ and _terrifying._ But so very _right._ She had run from it at first; quite literally sprinting from her childhood home and out into the rain before Chewie found her and hauled her back into the great room to warm up by the fire. But she couldn’t run forever.

From that day, she had known what she had to do. She had been reinvigorated, finding her voice again and falling back in love with literature and music and all of the things that life had stolen from her over the years. She wanted so badly to share those things with Ben, to give herself to him the only way she knew how. When she had come to California, she had expected to find her place and to find answers. 

Instead, she had never felt so alone. Instead, she was laying on a beach with her hair glued to her face by the salt of her tears and her body covered in sand. Instead, she was lying 5 yards from a dead body that her vampire not-boyfriend had brutally fed from to prove a point. Instead, she felt herself slipping into the familiar void again. She leaned into the whispers, what she now knew was the Source, her connection with her people, and kept herself afloat. Tonight, she would not sink.

That was when she heard the footsteps, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her instincts screamed for her to run, but her mind wouldn’t let her. _Bring it on. Better dead than alone._ But she didn’t mean that. Regardless of whether Ben wanted her or not, she had a responsibility to bring balance because these vampires were _her people too,_ the whispers proved that. And if he wasn’t going to help her protect them, she would figure it out herself. So, she stood on shaky legs to face the threat that loomed behind her. 

She was faced with a man in red robes with shaggy blonde hair, and startling blue eyes. She felt her blood settle in a way that felt familiar. 

“Hey, kid. Leia’s told me a lot about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received some feedback that my chapters felt a bit long, so this is my shortest update so far...even though it's still kind of long. I know, I know. Brevity is the soul of wit, but clearly I have none. 
> 
> I want to take a second to comment on Rey's mental state at this point. 
> 
> So, we know that she's been handed a pretty HEAVY plate since chapter 3. We haven't been filled in on what happened between her time in England and her first meeting with Ben, but we can see that she's come to terms with her role in the grand scheme of things. She wants to belong and she wants to really start to make a difference. In order to do that, she knows that she needs to fully be a part of the community she hopes to help reform. It would only make sense that she would want her equal in the Source to turn her, right? It made sense to me, at least. 
> 
> I can anticipate that a lot of readers might think of my version of Rey as "weak" because of her struggle with suicidal ideation, where Canon Rey seems to stand so strong against what she faces. I think what I'm trying to point out is that we really have NO IDEA what was going on in Canon Rey's head for all of those years of Jakku. She held out hope that her parents were coming back, but we don't know what that struggle looked like in the dead of night when she was alone with her own thoughts. 
> 
> I wanted this chapter to show that she has really dug herself out of that pit, and come to terms with her place in things even if she still struggles. Her sense of humor just kinda comes with the package. 
> 
> How about Ben, you guys???? He's doing everything he can to scare her away and keep her human. We'll hear from him again next chapter. 
> 
> What do we think our good pal Uncle Luke is going to have to say??
> 
> [This is the beach they're on.](https://www.californiabeaches.com/beach/victoria-beach/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo blanched, almost immediately. The picture was a young girl, no more than twenty five, lying face up in a puddle with her limbs bent and her hair stuck to her face. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was as open as the gaping wound at her neck. Her hair was chestnut brown, like Rey’s. Kylo’s arm shot out to grab the stack of photos and quickly fished through them. Each picture was much the same. A girl in her mid twenties, brown hair, small and pale with freckles, gaping neck wound, and left in an alley to die. Kylo was shaking, and whether it was from fear or rage he couldn’t tell. 
> 
> Someone is after her. Someone is going to hurt her. Luke was right. Have to find her. Have to help. 
> 
> His mind was racing, and he couldn’t stop it. He felt his fists clenching and unclenching around nothing, the photos thrown back on the table as he pushed back out of his chair and began to pace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! If you're still reading this, THANK YOU. Every comment and every hit means SO MUCH TO ME. 
> 
> We're getting a lot of plot set up this chapter, so hopefully it gives you some anticipation. 
> 
> We get to meet the Knights of Ren! I love them <3

“Luke,” she felt, rather than guessed. 

“Hey, good guess. It’s not like my sister and I look alike,” he joked, playfully.

She thought for a moment how to word her response. To anyone else’s ears it would have sounded crazy, but not to them. “No, but I can tell you’re related. You... _feel_ similar. If that makes sense.” 

“It does. Our kind can sense each other, and it would make sense that you can sense us too. And, you’ve spent enough time with Leia to learn how to pay attention.” _Maybe I’m not the only one that knows how to pay attention._ She wondered how much of her encounter with Ben he had observed. In the end, she decided that directness would be the best approach. It had worked with Leia, and she didn’t have the energy for pleasantries. “So, why are you here?”

Luke considered her for a moment, wondering if she was going to faint dead away at any moment. After all, she was standing next to a dead body. She looked sturdy enough, so he replied in the most honest of ways: “Leia wanted me to check on you. She wasn’t sure how your little plan was going to go.” He had a gentle smile on his face that was only a _little_ condescending. 

Rey averted her eyes. “There was no plan,” she admitted sardonically.

“Exactly,” Luke retorted a little too good-naturedly. _Smug bastard. Must be genetic._

Rey laughed, just a short chuckle without humor. The situation was funny, because it had to be. If it wasn’t funny, it was just downright tragic. “I just...I really thought he would feel it. And he did, but I suppose I thought those feelings would mean the same thing for him that they did for me.” She felt massively defeated, and her heartbreak was a bit too raw. Her eyes watered.

Luke already knew what was wrong with Ben, and he suspected that deep down, Rey knew too. She just didn’t realize it yet. “I don’t think _he_ knows what it means for him. For the first time in centuries, Ben is being forced to think for himself, without Snoke. He wanted power, and he got it. Those that desire power want to be immune to the power of others.” Luke paused, and sat down in the sand, gesturing for Rey to sit with him. She made her way over to him, and sat down as he finished his thought. “My nephew is no exception. He can sense your power, and he’s afraid of it.”

“And he thinks I’m _not_ afraid?” she spat incredulously. “I’ve come to terms with a _lot of shit_ in the past six months. Leia was right. He is acting like a fucking child.” 

Luke chuckled, just a little, and it only made Rey angrier. Her anger turned to a low simmer when she turned to Luke and took in the somber look in his eyes. 

“It’s not the same for him, Rey. Since he came into the Blood, he’s been nothing but raw power. I’ve never seen anything equal to it...until you. He has every right to be afraid. When he was first brought into the Blood by Snoke, he ran. He found his mother and I, and he tried to live like us. He did his best to keep to the shadows, to feed without killing, but I could feel something burning beneath the surface and I was afraid of what it meant for our kind. I confronted him, and he attacked me. He brought down an entire building on top of us, and ran right back to Snoke.”

Rey could hear the bitterness in his voice. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel what Luke felt. She felt the betrayal cutting him deeply, but beneath that she felt the hurt, confusion, and finally, the guilt. 

Luke continued, seemingly oblivious to Rey’s intrusion. “Sometimes I blame myself. But, when I think back to everything he’s been through, I realize that he was doomed from the start. He was created to be Snoke’s tool, and that was exactly what he became until he finally broke out of it and came into his own. And then _you_ show up, and suddenly he’s being told that he has to share everything he feels that he built. I’m not saying it’s the right thing, but I understand why he’s acting out. He’s carrying a lot of pain, but he’s also carrying the weight of an entire race on his shoulders, and he refuses to share it. Maybe he thinks he deserves the burden, maybe he just wants the power. I won’t pretend to know.” Luke shrugged.  
  


Rey sat for a moment and allowed herself to take in Luke’s words. Ben brought a building down on his uncle and his mother. _No, Kylo did those things._ But wasn’t he both Kylo _and_ Ben? She knew that she couldn’t pick and choose the parts of him that she wanted. When she chose to ask him to turn her she was choosing _all_ of him, even if he refused to believe it. 

As she contemplated the complexities of her not-boyfriend’s identity, she looked down at Kylo’s snack, _Beach Babe Becky_ , and realized that she was both hungry and cold. _Leave it to him to get himself dinner and forget about me._ She didn’t know if it had always been this cold on the beach, or if all the adrenaline of the past few hours was finally causing her body to give way to tremors. Either way, she had needs that had to be met, and she desperately didn’t want to be alone. “Luke, I know this probably sounds trivial to you, but I’m hungry and cold. I don’t know what to do about this dead body that he left here, and I don’t have a car, and honestly I don’t even know where the fuck we _are_ and...”

Luke held his hand up, “Rey, I’ll take care of it. I’ve heard about a fantastic place that the mortals frequent not too terribly far from here. They serve a mean sandwich.” Rey watched as Luke fished an iPhone out of his pocket, and proceeded to send a quick text, presumably to handle the _Becky_ situation. She choked back a laugh at the absolute absurdity that was Luke in his ancient robes holding a modern device. 

After walking up the beach and down the street a few blocks, they ended up at a diner that served Rey an amazing Reuben. Luke, as it turned out, couldn’t eat. _Well, the more you know_ . It was a quiet diner with most patrons keeping to themselves, working off their hangovers which gave Luke and Rey plenty of privacy to continue their conversation. Luke looked squarely at Rey, appraising her as she stuffed her face with the oversized sandwich. _Holy shit, Luke wasn’t kidding. This sandwich is amazing._ “So, Rey, we’ve discussed plenty of what Supreme Leader Kylo Ren wants, but we haven’t discussed what _you_ want... _at all._ Tell me about Rey. Tell me what _Rey_ wants to do with her life.”

Rey’s eyebrows came together in thought. For the past six months, her thoughts had been consumed with _Ben_ and _The Order_ and everything that she was _supposed to be doing_ . When she took a moment to think about what she _wanted_ to do, rather than what she _had to do_ , she came up short. She thought back to life before she had been yanked back to the world of the living by the invisible string that tied her to Ben. She had been an empty shell, filling the void with music, and fantasy worlds written on a page. She thought about how she had been able to get lost in the music and in the words that others had written. She wanted to be able to _give_ that.

“I’d love to be able to continue my music career. Leia gave me an amazing opportunity with the fellowship, but with the looming... _future_ with The Order, I know that I’ll have eternity to pursue academics. I think I’d like to just have fun for a while? Maybe I can reach someone just like me out there; some girl who’s been going through some tough shit, or someone who’s life isn’t quite how they pictured it. I don’t know. I’d just...like to leave a mark on the world of the living while I’m still a part of it. You know?” 

Rey knew she was babbling. She could feel it, but it didn’t stop. She wanted so badly to _be heard_ , and if Ben wouldn’t hear her when she spoke, maybe he would hear her when she sang in front of thousands, and if she could reach people while she did that then, well, that was a plus.  
  


Luke looked at her like she had grown three heads before his eyes softened. “Okay, one step at a time. Let’s start there.” 

Rey smiled, and finished her sandwich.

* * *

_December, 2019: Los Angeles_

_Rey was lying on the dais of the throne room of the Palpatine Castle. Her limbs were thrown out in odd directions, bent at angles that made Kylo’s stomach turn. Her eyes were open and glassy, glazed over and completely devoid of life. The wound at her neck had ceased to bleed. Kylo looked up, catching his reflection in a mirror that hung to his right. His eyes glowed and blood dripped from his mouth._

Kylo’s eyes fluttered open slowly. He should have been shocked by the dream, but he wasn’t. He had been dreaming of killing Rey every night for the past nine months, and the shock had worn off. Now, each instance of the dream only served to bolster his resolve to keep her as far from this life as he possibly could. He’d spent the last six months busying himself with work within The Order, and he was exhausted. He hadn’t been sleeping - because when he slept, he dreamed of her, and that was dangerous. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d fed. His music career had taken a very serious back seat, but playing on stage was still the only reprieve he had from the endless monotony of meetings, bureaucracy, and of course, immortality. 

Kylo sighed. _Well, best be on with it then._ He sat up in his bed, vaguely aware of how empty it felt with no plush little body to warm it ( _but it couldn’t be just anyone anymore_ ) and flung his legs over the side. He could feel the presence of other immortals in his home, and guessed that Poe had let them in. His assistant did a good job of pretending he did not fear vampires, but knew when to make himself scarce. He would probably be gone by the time Kylo walked out into the meeting room. 

Kylo appraised his closet briefly, knowing that this particular meeting was important and that his clothing needed to reflect that. He had a lot to say, and the Elders that were in attendance would need to be on board for any of his plans to work. He decided on a suit, a good one: black with white pinstripes paired with a white button down shirt, black tie and red pocket square. He pushed his hair back out of his face and tamed it with pomade before donning his black Louboutin dress shoes and walking out into the house like the prince he knew he was. 

He walked into the meeting room and took in the immortals seated at his table. The seat at the head was left open for him, and to the right sat Armitage Hux, a small ginger-haired man with a consistently pinched look on his face. Armitage had been in the Blood for longer than Kylo, and was incredibly elitist in his views on relationships between humans and vampires. He held himself in high esteem, and it showed. To the left of the table’s head sat Gwendoline Phasma, an incredibly tall blonde woman that seemed to look directly through those she interacted with. She was an asset to the Council, and provided shrewd assessment whenever necessary. 

The rest of the seats were filled with the Knights of Ren, Kylo’s chosen guard. He’d named his band after them as a joke, but he could tell they appreciated the tribute. Vicrul, Ap’lek, Ushara, and Kuruk all sat at the table with arms crossed, leaning back in their chairs. 

Vicrul was tall, blonde, and rugged. He always held a hint of humor in his eyes, and tonight was no exception. “Hey boss, have a nice nap?” Vicrul’s drawl broke through the silence in the room, and caused Kylo to give a slight huff of a laugh. 

“Yeah, slept like a baby. You keeping the rest of them out of trouble?” Kylo looked pointedly at the other Knights. Ap’lek was a known trouble maker, constantly antagonizing Marauders, and getting in bar fights with mortals for sport. Ushara was usually too busy making out with a cute girl in an alley somewhere, and Kuruk couldn’t be bothered to stop laughing long enough to actually deescalate any situation. 

Vicurl rolled his eyes and glanced at the other knights. “I’m doing my best.” Kylo smiled as he sat down at the head of the table. 

Hux glared a hole into the wall as he spoke in a clipped tone, “If you two are quite finished, I believe we have an agenda to attend to.” 

Ap’lek piped up, “Of course Hugs, let’s get to it.” The twinkle in his green eyes was unmistakable, and it took Kylo back to his times of boyhood mischief. But he wasn’t a boy anymore. He was the Supreme Leader, so he needed to act like it. 

“Phasma, what’s the report on the Marauders in Venice Beach?” 

“At least two mortals have been found dead every evening for the past month. It’s been getting worse, and they’re slowly encroaching on Los Angeles territory.” Phasma opened a folder on the table and pulled out a stack of photographs neatly paperclipped together. 

Kylo blanched, almost immediately. The picture was a young girl, no more than twenty five, lying face up in a puddle with her limbs bent and her hair stuck to her face. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was as open as the gaping wound at her neck. Her hair was chestnut brown, _like Rey’s._ Kylo’s arm shot out to grab the stack of photos and quickly fished through them. Each picture was much the same. A girl in her mid twenties, brown hair, small and pale with freckles, gaping neck wound, and left in an alley to die. Kylo was shaking, and whether it was from fear or rage he couldn’t tell. _Someone is after her. Someone is going to hurt her. Luke was right. Have to find her. Have to help._ His mind was racing, and he couldn’t stop it. He felt his fists clenching and unclenching around nothing, the photos thrown back on the table as he pushed back out of his chair and began to pace. 

“Who is leading them? What do they want?” he snarled at no one in particular. 

“We don’t know, my Lord. We know that their numbers verge on a hundred, and that they feed indiscriminately. The only bodies that have been left so _conspicuously,_ however are the ones whose photos you have just seen.” Phasma’s answer was concise and business-like, which Kylo appreciated, given his own lack of decorum in his current state. 

“Supreme Leader, we are in need of a strong hand. They must be punished. This sort of behavior _cannot_ be allowed to continue. We will lose control of The Order if we do not stifle this carelessness.” Hux was not wrong, and while Kylo tended to be more diplomatic, he was now prepared to crush any vampire that defied them. He would _not_ risk The Order, and he would _not_ risk Rey. 

“Vicrul, you know what to do.” He pushed his thoughts to Vicrul, envisioning the Marauder vampires burning to death as the knights used the Fire Gift to set them aflame: a warning for others to run, to stay away and leave his territory alone. 

“Yes, Lord Ren, but if I may speak freely?” Kylo stopped pacing, and motioned with his hand for Vicrul to continue. “Sir, things have only continued to get worse. Our governance is weakening, and that can be felt across the globe. We can only do so much without the help of the true Elders.” 

Ushara spoke up softly, “The true Elders have not come out of hiding since the death of Palpatine. What makes you think they could be of any help at all?” Ushara typically stayed out of the throes of politics, but she held a grudge against the Elders that none of the knights truly understood. 

Kuruk spoke next, coming to Vicrul’s defense. “They’re powerful. Their influence could help to reign in the rebellion of the Marauders-” 

“Or it could alienate them even more!” Ushara was incensed, but she calmed herself, and sat back in her chair. 

Kylo had heard enough. “We’re done here. Vicrul, deal with the children. Teach them not to play with their food. I need some time to think.” 

Hux sputtered, “Supreme Leader, we’ve not solved _anything_ -” 

Kylo flicked his wrist and telekinetically threw Hux back against the wall in his chair. “I said, _we’re done here,”_ he growled through clenched teeth. “Get out.” 

Hux stormed out of the meeting room, and Phasma followed behind him much more calmly. The knights lingered. Ushara was the first to speak through the silence. 

“Master, we won’t let anything happen to the girl.” Her tone was soft, as if calming a caged animal.

Kylo froze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“We know about her, the Palpatine girl. Did you think you were the only one who felt the awakening? She radiates through your blood as if she were standing right in front of us. It’s the oddest thing, really…” Ushara trailed off in thought, and Kuruk picked up where she left off.

“How do you think she’s survived for the past year? She’s been protected. We’ve kept eyes on her movements, but I don’t think Skywalker and Organa have left her side since March.” This wasn’t news to Kylo. He knew that his mother would protect Rey at all costs. What _was_ news was the involvement of his knights. 

“Hey, boss? You might want to come look at this.” Ap’lek had sat down on the couch in the living room, and was calling to him from down the hall. _Shouldn’t you be leaving?_ Kylo wanted to growl at him, but the apprehensive tone in his voice stopped him as he strode down the hall into the large open room. 

The television was on and flipped to _The Tonight Show_ , and Kylo was face to face with Rey. He knew that she had been pursuing music; he hadn’t been able to stop himself from skimming the minds of any mortals or immortals that he came into contact with to search for thoughts of her. He didn’t, however, fully grasp how successful she was until that very moment. His heart filled with pride, but was concurrently overridden by fear. _No, no. She can’t. They’ll find her. They’ll know where she is. They’ll come for her._

“Vic, get eyes on that building. Now. Find out where she is, and keep tabs on anyone that comes in or out.” His voice was clipped and controlled, attempting to not betray the raw panic that was slowly seeping into his veins. 

“You got it, boss.”

“When she’s safely home, handle the Marauders. I want them dealt with.” They were the cause of this, after all. 

Vicrul nodded and motioned for the other knights to follow him. Kylo felt Ap’lek clap him on the shoulder in solidarity before he was left in the living room alone. 

His eyes never left Rey’s face as she began to speak. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Kylo's suit](https://pin.it/1tI5G7p)   
>  [Kylo's shoes](http://us.christianlouboutin.com/us_en/shop/men/flatters.html)   
>  [Vicrul](https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2019/01/11/PDTN/416bbfae-de31-461d-a9a6-95c8e4ecd76f-CharlieHunnam-1.jpg?crop=599,799,x0,y0&quality=50&width=640)   
>  [Ap'lek](https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2016/12/30/jesse-photo-1-ad82e8dd062a42d2b92c9ebf92f6e50cea6b50dc.jpg)   
>  [Ushara](https://lezwatchtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Lesley-Ann-Brandt-350x412.jpg)   
>  [Kuruk](https://i2.wp.com/www.nerdsandbeyond.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/Cameron-feature.jpg?fit=1080%2C1286&ssl=1)   
>  [Inspiration for Kylo's LA mansion...but with slightly fewer windows](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1175-N-Hillcrest-Rd-Beverly-Hills-CA-90210/20534638_zpid/)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was blind, and he needed to hear it. He was hypnotized by his own sense of duty and humanity when it came to her mortality, and she hated it. She had never understood her life until she met Leia, until she was yanked back to life by her connection to the Source and her connection to him. Did she deserve to be a human and live a happy, normal life? Perhaps, but that was in no way what she wanted, and it wasn’t his place to choose it for her. The power of choice was also part of being human, and the thought of his obstruction and denial of her choice only made her angrier and more desperate to reach him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are picking right back up where we left off with Chapter 5! Rey and her band have had a quick rise to fame, and Rey is having a hard time coping with the demands. 
> 
> Just a few more chapters and our Space Babies will be reunited! In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying the character development along the way. Let me know what you think down in the comments!

Rey’s brain was fuzzy with jet lag and her eyes burned from the bright lights of the studio. However, she refused to be anything but a radiant performer as she sat in front of the camera. Her body and her heart were so very tired. Despite the bone-weary exhaustion, her drive kept her focused. She constantly had to remind herself _why_ she was doing this. She was leaving her final mark on the mortal world before she left it behind, and that had to be enough to keep her going. 

So far this evening she’d been greeted and shuffled around, her senses completely overwhelmed with the attention she was receiving from people that she didn’t know at all. She wanted to slow down and absorb everything that was happening around her, but there was no time. There was no time for anything anymore; fame was all consuming. She idly wondered if this constant sense of urgency would fade once she’d crossed into the Blood, but she had her doubts. 

She missed Rose, Paige, and Finn, even though they were only a few yards away. They made her look good in public when we fumbled over her words or completely missed cues, which was happening more and more frequently the longer she spent avoiding her feelings. She missed the warmth that Los Angeles had, even in December. The blinding lights of New York City were overwhelming and the cold was absolutely bitter as the wind blew outside. _Just a few more hours and you can sleep._

She was sitting on the black leather chair across from Jimmy Fallon who sat behind his desk pelting her with questions, being his usual quirky self, and encouraging banter about her band’s limited social media presence. Her leather pants stuck to her legs under the heat of the studio lights and she honestly didn’t think she’d ever been more uncomfortable in her life. _Damn Leia and her wardrobe choices. Will I ever get a chance to_ not _wear leather?_ She’d always hated leather, but she knew it made her ass look fabulous, and she picked her battles. She often felt like Rock and Roll Barbie, but that was the small price she paid for the undying support she received from her little found family of vampires. 

The past six months had been a whirlwind with Luke and Leia at the helm. Luke had taken it upon himself to become the band’s manager, working with a label to get them signed on a contract that ultimately seemed too good to be true. It definitely was, because he’d winked at her and flashed his teeth as Rey, Rose, Finn, and Rose’s older sister Paige, signed their contract. _Oh, so we’re taking advantage of mortals now? Well played, Skywalker._ It hadn’t cost the label anything though, and they’d more than made back their advance. 

“Rey?” Jimmy Fallon was looking at her expectantly and she had _very_ clearly missed a question. 

_Shit._ “Oh, I’m sorry, what was the question?” She smiled pleadingly at Fallon, hoping for a reprieve. 

Thankfully, he heard her plea. “Somebody is seriously feeling that time change, huh? Don’t let anyone lie to you. Jet Lag is _real._ ” 

She laughed good-naturedly and rolled her eyes at herself. “Absolutely. And I’m still not quite used to the “ _go there”_ and “ _do that”_ thing. It’s been a wild ride, for sure.” 

“Well, thank you so much for being here. So, uh, Rey. I was asking you about the new album; _Resist_ is self-titled. Can you tell me what inspired the name?”

“I think the band name, as well as the album title of course, speaks for itself. There’s so much pressure from society to conform to what’s expected of us in general, so our goal was to encourage our listeners to resist and fight back against that pressure and to question the _why_ behind the pressure before we make decisions that will affect our lives as well as the lives of others; to really be conscious and mindful of our actions.” 

Always into salacious celebrity gossip, Jimmy countered her last statement with his next question: “There have been whispers that maybe some of your lyrics are about, uh, a special someone? Or maybe someone that’s not so special anymore?” _Yes Fallon, the album is full of would-be breakup songs. No, I will not tell you who it’s about._

Rey laughed in dismissal of the intrusion, and evaded his underlying question. “To write music that touches the heart, it’s impossible to avoid some sort of relational influence, wouldn’t you agree? We encourage our listeners to decide what they think without reference to anyone in particular. The songs become about the people in their lives, not the other way around.” This earns her a hearty applause from the studio audience. 

“Fair enough, fair enough.” _Game, set, and match Fallon!_ “So, you’re from London, right?” Rey nods as Fallon continues. “What brought you to the states? Have you been here for long?” 

Rey was so damn _tired_ of talk shows. They were always the same; she could practically auto-pilot her interviews, but that was what got her into trouble. She’d be answering, and then miss an important question because her brain had shut off, and then one of her bandmates would sweep in and bail her out. There was no band to back her up now, so she tried desperately to be present when answering. 

“I, uh, was a student in London. Once I graduated, one of my professors, who is actually now our publicist Dr. Leia Organa, helped me get a fellowship at UCLA. I pursued a Masters of Arts in Literature for a while before the band took off. This is what I’ve always really wanted to do, though. I love reading, but I’ve always just wanted to reach people in the same way that authors reached me. They used words in books; I use words in songs.” 

“It really seems like you’ve done that with your music. Those lyrics,” he gave her a playful swoon that clearly meant he was impressed, followed by a swift change in subject after she graciously acknowledged his praise with a smile. “So, since you’ve been in the states for a bit, how do you like California? That is where you’re based, right?” 

“It’s warm!” she said immediately. “So much warmer than London!” _And here. I’m alternating between freezing my ass off outside and sweating under these damn lights in this studio._ “And I’ve made some wonderful friends who just so happen to be here tonight to help me perform!” 

“Let’s bring them out then, shall we?” 

The audience cheered as Rose, Paige, and Finn walked onto the small studio stage. Rey took a backseat as Fallon pelted them with questions the same as he did Rey. Before she could wrap her mind around what was happening, the show was cutting to commercials and she was being ushered to the in-studio performance area. She’d completely zoned out and was on auto-pilot again, her body moving her legs without her explicit consent.

Rey felt Rose’s hand brush against her shoulder and came back into her skin, back into the present. 

“Nerves?” Rose asked. Rey could see the concern in her eyes and her heart squeezed a bit. 

_You could say that._ “Yeah. I just...I’ve been a little...far away. You know?”

“Oh, honey, we know. We’ve all noticed. We just don’t want to pry too hard. If you ever want to talk, you’ve got us. _All of us._ ” She gestures back to the rest of the band, and Rey fights back tears at their gentle but concerned smiles. She gave Rose a small nod and moved to sit at the small piano at the front of the stage. 

She saw the countdown from offstage and readied herself for the camera again as the audience applauded her back in. “Thank you, so much. The band and I thought it would be good to play one of our unreleased songs for you guys tonight, since you’re getting the first look at our music video for Sweet Sacrifice,” Rey paused for the applause before continuing her introduction, “so this is a song called The Only One.” _Leia is going to kill me for this._

Rey had nodded in agreement that _Resist_ ’s first live song would be _What You Want_ , which had been eaten up by the general public. But mostly that agreement had been meant to get Luke and Leia off her back. A private discussion with her bandmates had led to a much more personal choice of song. No one had ever told her she was cooperative, and there was a reason her band was named Resist.

She took a deep breath as her fingers twinkled over the keys and Rose and Paige filled in the background harmony. She opened her mouth, and lost herself for an entirely different, and all too familiar reason. This time it was _not_ auto-pilot; this time she felt _everything._

_You know you’re not the only one_

_One day you’ll come crashing down in mid-flight_

_You know you’re not the only one_

_When they’re so alone they’ll find a backdoor out of life_

_You know you’re not the only one_

She hoped he heard her, and that he knew he was not alone. She hoped he heard her warning, in addition to the admission in her lyrics: one day he would fall because no one individual could carry the weight that he did without stumbling, and when he did indeed stumble, he would not be alone. Her heart almost broke from the sheer force of her emotions as she began to sing the chorus:

_We’re all grieving, lost and bleeding_

_All our lives, we’ve been waiting_

_For someone to call our leader_

_All your lies, I’m not believing_

_Heaven shine a light down on me_

Rey hoped that he could hear the rawness in her voice. She was tired of the lies that he told himself, and the ones that he told her. She was made for him, and he was made for her. He knew it as well as she did.

_So afraid to open your eyes, hypnotized_

_You know you’re not the only one_

_Never understood this life_

_And you’re right, I don’t deserve_

_But you know I’m not the only one_

He was blind, and he needed to hear it. He was hypnotized by his own sense of duty and humanity when it came to her mortality, and she hated it. She had never understood her life until she met Leia, until she was yanked back to life by her connection to the Source and her connection to him. Did she deserve to be a human and live a happy, normal life? Perhaps, but that was in no way what she wanted, and it wasn’t his place to choose it for her. The power of choice was also part of being human, and the thought of his obstruction and denial of her choice only made her angrier and more desperate to reach him. 

She sang the chorus again, declaring her people’s need for a leader, and rebuking the lies that he told himself with renewed energy. Slamming her fingers into the keys and rasping into the microphone, she felt tears threaten from her eyes the same way they did every time she allowed herself to _feel_. When the bridge hit, a sense of desperation leaked into her voice as she begged him to hear her.

_Don’t look down_

_Don’t look into the eyes of the world beneath you_

_Don’t look down, you’ll fall down_

_You’ll become their sacrifice_

_Right or wrong, can’t hold onto the fear that I’m lost without you_

_If I can’t feel, I’m not mine, I’m not real_

_We’re all grieving, lost and bleeding_

_All our lives, we’ve been waiting_

_For someone to call our leader_

_All your lies, I’m not believing_

_Heaven shine a light down on me_

She ended the song with a piercing high note that rang out over the audience. She wanted to revel in the applause as they washed over her, but she felt empty, like she had nothing left to give. She stared into space and caught her breath before she bid the viewers goodnight and waved. Looking up, she locked eyes with a _very_ unhappy Luke from across the studio. She winced visibly as the lights turned off on the little stage. She blinked a few times and focused so that she could see again without the blinding lights, and watched him make his way to her. 

Luke was there within seconds, and hissing into her ear a harsh “What the hell was that?” He wasn’t angry, but the concern in his voice was evident. She had fucked up, _just a little._ The album sales probably wouldn’t be as high as they could have been, and the social media response would be rough. Rey didn’t give a shit. After all, like Jimmy said, they had a small social media footprint anyway, and her reasons for the stunt had little to do with the band at all. 

“I had to try, Luke,” she whispered. Her heart was melting slowly, sinking into her stomach, and lately she was having trouble catching her breath. Music was the only way she could think of to truly convey to Ben exactly how she felt. It was raw, and some of it was harsh, but he needed to hear it and she needed to say it, regardless of the outcome. 

Luke sighed knowingly, but wearily, and put his hand on her shoulder, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “Rey, this is not going to go the way you think.” Luke’s voice was kind, but firm. Rey knew that he thought Ben’s path was set, mainly because his nephew was always so damned stubborn. Luke still believed that Ben had chosen to be Rey’s enemy when he had turned her away. Rey wasn’t buying it; though she couldn’t find it in herself to explain why. 

She took a deep breath and found her voice, attempting to reason with Luke. “You’re wrong, even now. If I can get him to come to the show tomorrow night, he will turn me. I can feel it.” 

“And if he doesn’t?” The challenge in Luke’s voice was undeniable. He didn’t think she could do what would need to be done if Ben continued to fight against her. 

“Then we’ll do it your way. This is...my last shot I guess, and what’s the harm?I know I’m ready to enter the Blood. I’m ready to claim what’s mine. I just…” _I want peace. I want a partner. I don’t want to fight him, to kill him…_ “I just can’t give up yet.” She could feel the tears pricking the corners of her eyes again, like a constant reminder of the rawness of her emotions, but she didn’t let them fall. 

“Yeah, I know, kid. Come on, I’ll take you guys out for a drink. Leia and Chewie are out in the car. By the way, you guys sounded great!” Rey nodded, attempted a smile, and followed Luke out to the waiting Suburban. As her skin hit the cold night air of New York City, she felt something chill her blood. 

She was being watched. She could feel it.

She turned to Luke with her eyes wide, and he immediately understood. _Get the band. Get them in the car. Make them safe._ Rey’s heart was racing as she took off into the fray of flashing cameras and bolted towards the waiting SUV. She heard the bullet as it flew past her head, missing by less than an inch, quickly followed by another before they stopped inexplicably. She was still ducking as she reached the open door and threw herself into the back seat of the Suburban, followed quickly by Luke and the rest of her bandmates. 

Somehow, none of the fans outside the doors seemed to have noticed. 

“What the _fuck_ was that?” Finn asked, not even attempting to hide the panic in his voice. 

Rey, too stunned to answer, just shook her head. Leia answered for her. 

“Rey, I think the cat’s out of the bag at this point. We’re gonna tell ‘em.” She twists around in her seat to appraise the young musicians filling up the second and third row seats of the Suburban. “Hang on to your pants, kids. We’ve got a story for you.” 

* * *

Hours later, the eclectic group of mortals and immortals were all sitting in a suite at the Four Seasons catching their breath. Rose and Finn lounged across one of the queen beds, while Rey lay on the other bed with her head in Leia’s lap. She had smoked a bowl and was feeling much more at peace with the entire situation. It was incredibly nice to _finally_ be able to share this part of her life with her friends. Despite the new emotional comfort this revelation inspired, she had still come to rely on the buzz to help her trudge through the emotional mud she was constantly buried under. Though they were all clearly in danger, at least the band would know _why_ they were in danger. And, _quite frankly_ , right now with the relaxed buzz of marijuana in her system, coupled with exhaustion, she was too tired to care much about anything. 

Chewie and Luke sat on the sofa in the living area, silently observing. Paige was pacing, still trying to wrap her mind around the absolute impossibility of Rey’s life story, paired with the fact that they were in the presence of three immortal beings.

“So, let me get this straight. You three are vampires, like _actual_ vampires, and Rey is some kind of....vampire princess? And she’s supposed to turn and take over the vampire government and lead you guys to ultimate peace?” At this point, Paige has repeated these points at least three times, and Rey is beginning to fall asleep as Leia plays with her hair. 

“Yeah, that’s basically it, especially if I can’t get Lord Fuckwad to get his head out of his ass,” Rey responds with a sleepy giggle. 

“He may be a fuckwad, but he’s still my son,” Leia says admonishingly. 

“Shit is wild, bro.” Finn is, quite obviously, done with this conversation. 

“Can we start calling you Your Highness, now?” Rose snickers, teasing Rey lightly from their side of the room. 

Rey groans. “Please do not.”

Rose sat up straight on the bed for a moment, her eyes heavily lidded and her words slurred. “I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Kylo Ren, I mean _the_ fucking _KYLO REN_ is a goddamn vampire. And your literal betrothed or whatever, who you might have to kill if he doesn’t agree to share the throne and stuff. And also, he’s Leia’s son? I am too fucking high for this shit. The vibe is off.” Rose flopped back on the bed dramatically with limp arms flailing, and tucked herself into Finn’s side. 

“What we should really be trying to figure out is who shot at you, and why.” Luke had been in an uncharacteristically petulant mood since the incident, and Chewie was right there with him. _Maybe they just need to get high. Can vampires even get high?_

“They only took two shots. Either someone stopped them, or they were trying to send a warning. But a warning for what?” Chewie’s brow was furrowed in thought as he and Luke continued to toss ideas back and forth at one another. 

“Rey, I really think we should consider postponing the show tomorrow night,” Finn said. “I know it’s the last thing any of us want, but we have to be safe.” He was sitting up on the bed now, imploring Rey with his eyes. 

“You know I’m not going to do that, Finn.” Rey whispered. _Buzzkill._

“He’s right, Rey,” Leia murmured above her. Rey could feel her motherly gaze, and for the first time she felt repulsed by it. She sat up, throwing Leia’s hands from her hair and vaulting to her feet. It was her turn to pace. 

“No. I will _not_ give up everything I’ve worked for because someone decided to get ballsy and take a shot at me. We’ll up the security, call in favors, do _whatever_ we have to do, but I will _not_ cancel this show. We have worked too hard and this might be my last chance to...” she paused, feeling the tears start to fall, “to really be human: young, and alive, and carefree. I need this. _We_ need this.” _They have to understand. They have to. Please don’t take this from me._ “Please don’t take this from me.” She sank to her knees and finally succumbed to the sobs that exhaustion brought with it. _This could be my last chance to get him by my side. I need him to hear me. I just need to be heard. Please._

She felt strong arms lifting her, and placing her on the bed. Vaguely, she heard Chewie’s voice as he encouraged everyone to go to bed. The vampires would go to their suite and figure things out as much as they could tonight, while the band slept. Rey barely registered any of this as she slowly drifted out of consciousness. 

That night she dreamed of inky black hair running through her cold fingers, and the prick of fangs on her neck. 

* * *

Leia paced the room of their adjoining suite, keeping a watchful ear out for the sounds of mortal breathing on the other side of the door. She was worried about the shooting; of course she was, but her growing worry over Rey’s emotional well-being was quickly coming to a head. She could feel Rey’s emotions rolling off of her like waves even if she didn’t know how to articulate them. She felt the anger and unrest bubbling beneath the surface, combined with the insecurity that she masked so expertly and wished she could wipe it all away. Was Ben aware of the distress that his wavering was causing Rey? Did he know what she was going through? Did he care?

She sat down on the couch just as she heard Chewie and Luke returning to the suite from their perimeter check, but she felt another presence with them and bristled slightly. Her hackles stayed raised as she realized exactly who had joined them. 

“Vicrul. You look well,” Leia said dismissively. 

“Looks can be deceiving. We spent the evening cleaning up quite a mess,” Vicrul replied bluntly. 

Leia raised her brows. “We?” 

“The Knights and I. Lord Ren saw your heiress’ little stunt on the television and sent us to make sure she didn’t wind up dead.” 

“Bold of you to assume that we couldn’t deal with it ourselves, boy,” Chewie rumbled from the corner of the room. 

“I didn’t see anyone else taking out the gunman. You’re lucky we were there, or her brains would have been splattered across the front page of the newspaper tomorrow morning. What are you playing at, huh? Dangling her in front of him like that?” Vicrul was keeping a tight reign on his temper, but the words came out in a snarl. 

Now Leia was confused. “What are you talking about, Vic?”

He pulled back his lips in a sneer. “You know he’s been driving himself mad staying away from her,” he snarled as he pointed towards the door to Rey’s adjoining room. “He has himself convinced that she’s better off without him, that her humanity is too precious to be taken from her, or that he’ll kill her if he tries to turn her. Are you so cruel that you think it’s okay to parade her around in the public eye? He can’t stop thinking about her because he can’t stop _seeing_ her. You’ve made sure she’s everywhere.” 

Luke chimes in at that, decidedly just as confused as Leia. Obviously, their interest in Rey’s success had little to do with Kylo Ren, but that was beside the point. “Hold on, that’s what all of this has been about? He left her stranded alone on a beach in the middle of the night _with a dead body_ because he thought he was doing her a _favor?_ Damn that kid is dense.” Luke huffed and shook his head. 

“I don’t know anything about that, but I do know that he hasn’t been feeding or sleeping, and he has been absolutely _useless_ when it comes to diplomacy. He’s either smashing things on stage or brooding at the piano. It’s sickening, if I’m being honest.” Everyone in the room chose to ignore his look of derision at the idea of his Supreme Leader showing weakness. Vicrul had a soft spot for Ben, and they all knew it. He was concerned for his friend, and this was how he chose to show it. 

Chewie took this opportunity to broach a... _difficult_ subject. “Luke, do you think Friend would be willing to help with this? Ben is his kid too, and if we haven’t been able to break through that massive head, maybe he can...” 

“No,” Leia said firmly. 

“Leia...it’s time. Han’s been in hiding for centuries. Don’t you think it’s time for Ben to know the truth?” Luke’s voice was gentle, as if he were trying to talk down a wild animal. He was right, with Ben making his way back from Snoke’s hold, Leia couldn’t keep putting it off. Her son deserved to know that he was, for all intents and purposes, absolved of the guilt that he carried. 

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” she whispered.

“Han will forgive you, just like he forgave Ben. You have to know that. You saved his life.” Luke had been trying to convince Leia to reach out to Han for decades, but she refused. Luke and Chewie had guided Han through his entrance into immortality because Leia couldn’t take the guilt.

“No, I condemned him to living death because I was too selfish to let him go,” she said with a crack in her voice. She was exhausted, and this was quickly becoming too much. 

“Now I see where Lord Ren gets it from,” Vicrul muttered. “If you think Solo can really help, send him our way. Until then, keep the girl on a fucking leash. We don’t need our Supreme Leader going off the rails.” Vicrul strode out the door without saying goodbye, and the room felt lighter immediately. 

“I’ll go find Han and send him Ben’s way. He’ll handle it,” Chewie said decisively. 

Leia nodded and watched as Chewie slipped back out the door of the suite. Luke sat down next to Leia on the couch and pulled her to him, gently rubbing her shoulder in comfort. “They’ll all be okay, sis. I know it. Just try to get some rest.” 

Leia closed her eyes and drifted into a light sleep on Luke’s shoulder. She dreamed of a little boy with inky black hair and ruddy cheeks that she once held close to her chest. The loss of her son, as well as his father, haunted her just as persistently as they when she was awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Rey's outfit](https://pin.it/43iYsJi)   
>  [Rose's outfit](https://pin.it/1ipuTSz)   
>  [Paige's outfit](https://pin.it/1dwkljY)   
>  [Finn's outfit](https://pin.it/LQSWkQo)   
>  [The hotel](https://www.fourseasons.com/newyork/?seo=google_local_nyf1_amer)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of his mild tantrum, Kylo felt a whisper flit across his mind, and his hair stood up on the back of his neck. His eyes snapped up and away from the keys, looking around the room for the source of the feeling. Before he could turn around, he heard it.
> 
> “Hey, kid.” 
> 
> He hadn’t heard that voice in years. Not since…No, there was absolutely no way. His mind was playing tricks on him, and it became clear how utterly insane he was becoming. There was no way that Han Solo was here. He was dead. Kylo had killed Han Solo over two-hundred years ago, and left him for dead in an alley. Kylo let out a shuddering breath, refusing to turn away from the piano keys to face the obvious figment of his imagination. That’s all this was, and what kind of Supreme Leader was he if he couldn’t face a ghost?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> I intended for this update to be a part of a larger chapter, but I just really felt like Han and Ben needed their moment. Please cry with me over these two because I JUST CAN'T. 
> 
> Quick notes:  
> 1\. In my universe, vampires fly and travel VERY quickly.  
> 2\. I do have a method to my madness in terms of how I reference our Emo Leader. Sometimes he's Ben and sometimes he's Kylo, but in my mind they're always the same person. It's all about his perception of himself vs. the perception of the characters around him.

The piano keys felt stiff under Kylo’s hands as he played them idly, willing them to form a song or _something_ that his mind could focus on that wasn’t _Rey._ It had been nearly twenty-four hours since he had sent his knights to watch over her, nearly twenty-four hours since he heard her voice calling out to him through the television screen, and he hadn’t heard anything since. He had felt a disturbance in his blood, and hadn’t been able to sleep since, not that he had been sleeping much at all anyway. 

The waiting made him feel powerless and weak, two things he thought he’d never feel again after pulling the source from Snoke. Despite his unease, he knew that if he went after her he’d never be able to leave her alone again. _Trust the knights. You keep them close for a reason._ His fingers slammed down harder on the keys in frustration in spite of his attempts to reassure himself. His mind was spinning, thinking of her words: _all our lives, we’ve been waiting for someone to call our leader...all your lies, I’m not believing…_ She was right, damn it. He was lying, both to himself and to her if he thought he could stay away forever. He was failing as a leader, completely caught up in his own misery, and it was only a matter of time before it started to catch up with him. It pissed him off, failure, and he slammed the piano keys harder. 

In the midst of his _mild_ tantrum, Kylo felt a whisper flit across his mind, and his hair stood up on the back of his neck. His eyes snapped up and away from the keys, looking around the room for the source of the feeling. Before he could turn around, he heard it.

“Hey, kid.” 

He hadn’t heard that voice in years. Not since…No, there was absolutely no way. His mind was playing tricks on him, and it became clear how utterly insane he was becoming. There was no way that Han Solo was _here_ . He was _dead._ Kylo had killed Han Solo over two-hundred years ago, and left him for dead in an alley. _But the deed split your spirit to the bone. You’ve been unbalanced ever since._ Kylo let out a shuddering breath, refusing to turn away from the piano keys to face the _obvious_ figment of his imagination. That’s all this was, and what kind of Supreme Leader was he if he couldn’t face a ghost? _A pathetic one. That’s what you are already, isn’t it?_

“I miss you, son,” whispered a voice that Kylo thought he would never hear again. Kylo could feel his physical presence, but his mind wouldn’t allow him to acknowledge it. He had to believe that this was just a figment of his imagination, otherwise that meant... _no._ He hadn’t failed Snoke. His sick need to please his dead master twisted in his gut, and he recoiled at the idea of having failed him all those years ago. He _had_ killed his final link to the mortal world that night. He _had_ felt his father’s final breath leave his body. The weight of those memories didn’t lie. Kylo squared his shoulders, refusing to yield to his own traitorous mind. 

Without turning from the piano he answered, “Your son is dead.” His words were clipped, attempting to betray no emotion. Somehow, he knew he was failing. But, he was also failing at controlling his clearly failing mind as the figment spoke again.

Han scoffed, and shook his head. “No. Kylo Ren is dead - has been since the day you took the Source into yourself. My son is alive.” The conviction in his voice shook Kylo to the core, and his own resolve wavered. He stood up from the piano bench and took a stuttering breath before turning to face his father. He looked exactly as he had all those years ago, but now Han’s once ruddy skin was nearly translucent in the moonlight that trickled in from the window. 

He looked at him in bewilderment. “You’re just a memory,” he forced out, still attempting to deny what was right in front of him. 

Han’s face broke out into a full-blown grin. “Nah, kid. I’m as flesh and Blood as it gets, thanks to your mother.” Kylo let out a gasp as if he had been punched in the gut, and he opened his mouth to speak, but Han cut him off. “We can talk about that story later. Right now, it’s time for you to figure yourself out. Get your girl and come home.” Han’s eyebrows raised expectantly, waiting for Kylo to grasp his meaning. 

Kylo’s mind raced with the implications of his father’s statement. Leia had cleaned up his mess. He hadn’t failed Snoke. Mortal Han was, in fact, dead... _or undead, to be precise_. Leia’s secrecy stung him, but if he was being totally honest with himself, he knew he had done nothing to deserve her candor. And he knew that by doing what she did, and keeping the secret from him, she was protecting him as well. If Snoke had ever found out…well, Kylo didn’t want to think about what hell he would have been tortured with. Clearly, Kylo’s relationship with his mother was still...complicated, to say the least, but for her to keep Han’s existence from him after Snoke was dead...hurt more than he’d care to admit to anyone. Kylo wondered what else Leia might be keeping from him, the ice-cold sting of betrayal lancing through his heart. He was enraged, and humiliated by his own incompetence. Kylo wasn’t sure about anything anymore. He felt like he was on the brink of insanity as he answered Han.

“It’s too late for that,” Kylo choked out as he averted his eyes, regret filling every blood cell in his body, momentarily eclipsing the sting of his mother’s betrayal as he focused on the question of Rey. “I pushed her away. It was for her safety, so I wouldn’t hurt her...but I’m being torn apart.” He was slowly coming to realize what an idiot he had been. _I left her. I left her there with a dead fucking body on a goddamn beach in the middle of the night. Fuck._ The guilt nearly stole his breath. If he had turned her - as she had asked him to - if she were _here_ with him, she’d be safe from whatever rogue vampire was trying to send a message. She’d be powerful. _They_ would be powerful. She’d be _his_ and he would be _hers._ He then realized that had become more important to him than any other title he could possess: being _Rey’s._ He wanted to belong to Rey, probably more than he wanted her to belong to him. 

Han, always quick on the draw, countered his son’s rebuttal. “Do you think it’s any easier on her? Chewie came to find me, told me about her-- that little stunt she pulled on Fallon? She sounds like a hell of a woman, Ben, but she needs you, just as much as you need her. And The Order needs you _both_!” 

Kylo drew in a shuddering breath. His resolve to stay away from Rey was crumbling like the walls of Babylon, and coupled with the revelation that his father was _alive_ in the Blood was just too much. He fell to his knees, supplicating himself before Han because he didn’t know how else he could earn forgiveness for such an unforgivable act. It had been a long time since he'd been this humbled- this completely wrecked. He still refused to meet Han’s eyes as he whispered, “I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” 

Han reached down and pulled Kylo’s face up to meet his eyes. His touch was soft, but firm and Kylo shivered at the unfamiliar feeling of Han’s cool skin, such a jarring contrast from the warmth in his eyes. “You do.” 

_After everything, after all this time...he still believes in me_. Now, after all these years, the crushing guilt, the overwhelming love that he had buried for centuries since being crushed under Snoke’s thumb, all came rushing to the surface and Kylo couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. The blood flowed from his eyes freely as he stared up at his father. “Dad…” he gasped out. 

Han’s hand slid up to gently cup Kylo’s cheek, so much like he would have if this were still a little boy named Ben sitting in front of him. “I know. Go get her, kid. I’ll see you again soon. We’ll talk, but there are things that are more important right now. Focus.” The softness in Han’s eyes transformed into worry as his brow creased. He closed his eyes, prompting Kylo to do the same as they both took a deep breath. Han was trying to show him something in his mind, and he’s been too distracted to notice. 

_Rey, on stage singing her heart out. Lights flashing to the beat of the music. A loud_ bang _from somewhere in the audience, followed by the hissing and popping of a stage light exploding from the force of a bullet. Mortals screaming, watching as Rey fell to the ground with blood seeping from her abdomen, her limbs crumpled._

“No!” Fear overtook him as Kylo’s eyes flashed open and met his father’s calm gaze. His chest felt tight and he could feel his body growing weak with shock, panic, fear. “What are her odds of surviving if she’s shot?” Ben questioned. He needed to know that Rey would be safe if he couldn’t make it in time. He had to _do something._ He would _not_ let her die. 

“Son, breathe. If you get to her in time it won’t happen, but you have to _go._ And, kid - hasn’t anyone ever taught you to never ask for the odds? _”_ Han smiled his half-smile, which always seemed to reassure everyone he loved, and in this moment there was no doubt that he loved his son. He had forgiven Ben’s transgressions a long time ago, but it was clear that Ben still craved reassurances and those assurances would have to wait. 

Suddenly, a thought struck Kylo, and he snapped his eyes up to Han. “How did you know?” If there were a disturbance of this magnitude, he should have felt _something_ in the Blood, a tremble in the Source - some kind of signal that hinted at dissent within his ranks. Admittedly, he’d been a bit preoccupied, but he still _should_ have felt it. He felt like a pathetic excuse for a leader - someone completely undeserving of the honor that he had taken upon himself. It was a feeling he was becoming accustomed to now that his _family_ was showing back up in his life.

“I’ve been keeping my eye on you and The Order. Son, you’ve got a rat; I know that for sure. Go get Rey, make sure she’s safe, and we’ll deal with it when you’ve finished her conversion. Take her to your mother’s house up north. The vampire population is thinner up there so she’ll be safe. I’ll come find you there and we’ll talk about what I’ve found out so far, and about _everything_.” 

Kylo had left his father once before without saying what he wanted to. He wasn’t about to do it again. He stood on shaking legs, willing himself to _get it together._ “Dad…” he almost sobbed, once again fighting to say the words. "I'm sorry..." 

“I know," Han countered with his half-smile and sympathetic eyes before sauntering to the window and flying off into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU GO BEN GO GET THAT GIRL YASSSSSS
> 
> Next up...the concert. 
> 
> After that...the fuckening is upon us.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben was standing in the middle of the kitchen dressed in a soft-looking black sweater, and jeans. His hair was perfectly swept back out of his face, and his eyes were wide with some indiscernible emotion. All of this was to be expected, once she realized that he was here. What Rey was not expecting to see were Ben’s hands, covered with comically large oven mitts, holding an incredibly sad, deflated souffle. 
> 
> She was also not expecting the tears that suddenly ran down her face, as he began to speak. “Rey, um, I thought you might be hungry when you woke up, so I wanted to make you something…” he trailed off when he looked up and saw her tears. “I’m sorry. It didn’t exactly work out, but I can always heat up something else, if you want…” 
> 
> Rey stared at him incredulously. “You made me a souffle,” she whispered, unable to fully find her voice in the moment. “ Of all the things you could make, you pick something ridiculously difficult...” The tears ran full force just as much in praise of his efforts as in anger at him for being an absolute imbecile.
> 
> “Yes, I did. Or at least, I tried,” Ben replied, looking down at the disaster in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW it feels like it's been forever since I updated, but it's really only been like a week and a half. 
> 
> We finally have some emotional reconciliation between these two, and I couldn't be happier. I wanted the interaction to feel authentic to the characters, so I hope I accomplished that. 
> 
> I'm currently working on a spoopy little ficlet (more like fluff with bats) for Halloween, so the next update will likely be a little over a week away. Please be patient with me <3 
> 
> I've also added a very tentative chapter count. I'm thinking I can wrap it up in 15 chapters, but we will see!

It was dark backstage as Rey stood at the edge of the curtain staring out at the waiting crowd, holding a joint between two fingers and pulling. The opening band had left the stage and the audience was quickly growing restless watching the roadies set up for _Resist_ ’s live album debut. She was absolutely vibrating with tension and willed the THC in her system to calm her as she struggled to focus on her surroundings. She was consumed with thoughts of Ben -- the insecurity, the uncertainty of their future together, all of it weighing in her heart like lead. 

Rey flicked her ashes to the ground absentmindedly, bringing herself back down from her rising state of anxiety. _Let tomorrow be tomorrow. You’re here right now._ She took one more deep inhale from her joint and flicked the roach to the ground before walking to the green room. 

She entered silently, not taking a moment to lock eyes with any of her bandmates. She could feel their stares burning into her back, but she honestly just didn’t have it in her to talk about much of anything. She wandered to the makeup mirrors at the back of the room and sat down to fix her face. The anxiety and emptiness were overwritten with every swipe of the makeup brushes on her face -- the mask of a performer painted on with the glide of color along her lips, cheeks and eyes. She took a long look in the mirror, smoothing her hands along the red corset she wore and fluffing the tulle of her black skirt absently. 

“You guys ready to burn this place down?” she asked, turning to her friends and plastering a slightly manic smile onto her face, pleading with her eyes for them to not ask any questions. 

“Whatever you say, Princess!” Finn’s enthusiasm was infectious, and Rey’s smile turned genuine. 

“I told you _not_ to call me that,” Rey said, attempting to be stern and failing. 

Luke poked his head into the green room and cleared his throat to get their attention. “Five minutes until places, guys. Look alive.” Rey rolled her eyes. He was full of “lively” puns, and clearly never got tired of them. 

“Well, let’s get going kids,” Rey muttered as she made her way out the door and into the dark hallway leading to the stage. She passed the security team waiting in the wings, and stood still as makeup artists made final touches to her skin and sprayed her hair into place. 

Rey watched as the stage lights shifted, the intro video playing on the massive screens flanking the stage. She watched as her bandmates hurried out in the dark to take their places. She took one last deep breath before walking out onto the stage in the dark and the second she hit her mark, the background vocals began to sound. She opened her mouth to sing in the darkness. 

_If you wanna live, let live_

_If you wanna go, let go_

_I’m not afraid to dream,_

_To sleep, sleep, forever_

The lights on the stage shot up on her as the electric guitar sang, and the song began in full force. She came alive under the light of the stage, the roar of the crowd, and the deafening sound of instruments wailing behind her. 

She lost herself as the songs bled one into another, and she felt tears pricking her eyes as she wailed the sullen lyrics to _Oceans;_ her heart raced as she sang the rebellious castigations in _Say You Will;_ she felt an empty ache in her chest at the admissions in the lyrics of _Weight of the World_ and _Sweet Sacrifice._ Her voice rang out at the end of the song, and she took a second to stand in the center of the stage, arms wide open, listening to the sounds of the world around her, and feeling the warmth of the stage lights on her face. 

When her eyes opened, she spoke into her mic. 

“How are we doing out there Los Angeles?” The deafening screams pulled a smile to her lips and she huffed a light laugh into the microphone before she continued. “The band and I want to thank you all _so much_ for being here tonight. We’re so thankful to be playing our very first live show in the city we call home. We’re winding down for the evening, but we still have a few songs to go! You guys ready?” 

More screaming followed Rey as she crossed the stage to sit down at the piano that Leia had commissioned for the evening. “This song is called _Disappear_ , and I - uh, well, I hope you like it.” The drums hit, and Rey’s fingers twinkled over the keys in a light melody as she began to sing again. 

_Hollow like you don't remember me_

_Underneath everything I guess I always dreamed_

_That I would be the one to take you away_

_From all this wasted pain_

_But I can't save you from yourself_

_Don't you want to feel?_

_Don't you want to live your life?_

_How much longer are you gonna_

_Give into the fear?_

_Holding you down until you're_

_Frozen_

The urgency in her voice rose as the song built to a harsh crescendo and the drums dropped out, leaving only her voice for a few measures, and returned even bigger than before, crashing over the audience in full force. 

At the end of the song, she was exhausted. Her emotions were running dry as she muddled through _Never Go Back._ She dripped with relief when the band dropped out for her to begin the piano and vocals for _Lost in paradise -_ her final song of the evening. Rey allowed herself to sink into it, wringing out everything she had on the stage. The song built to a crescendo and her tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she pushed her voice, and the depths of her heart, to the limit. 

_Run away, run away_

_One day we won't feel this pain anymore_

_Take it all the way_

_Shadows of you_

_'Cause they won't let me go_

_So I have nothing left_

_And all I feel is this cruel wanting_

_We've been falling for all this time_

_And now I'm lost in paradise_

_Alone, and lost in paradise_

Rey’s voice faded with the lights. There was momentary silence on the stage, followed by a deafening _POP_ and a fizzle of electrical wires right above her head. 

_Fuck. Shit. Not again._

Rey became vaguely aware of an aching sting in her arm before she looked down and saw the stream of blood blossoming as it trailed down her pale skin. Her body slumped, and the floor rose up to meet her. 

The last thing she was aware of were a pair of arms lifting her, and the wind lashing at her skin. 

* * *

_One hour earlier_

Kylo Ren shoved his way through the massive horde of mortals just as _Resist_ took the stage. He had been listening, searching the crowd for any sign of wayward thought against Rey when he finally heard it: a whisper. 

_Ah, there she is...Boss will be proud….I’m so close…_

He heard the thoughts coming from his right and immediately pushed his way through the crowd with blinding speed and snatched the scrawny rat by the throat, hauling him against the small brick building at the edge of the bustling concert venue. 

“Who sent you?” Kylo snarled through clenched teeth. 

“S-s-supreme Leader Ren...I, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about...” 

“Cut the bullshit kid. Tell me who you’re working for.” The young vampire sputtered and struggled against Kylo’s hold momentarily before giving in. He opened his mouth to speak...

...and a bullet hit him square in the middle of his forehead, rendering him silent. 

“ _Fuck,”_ Kylo muttered, as he dropped the boy to the ground. He would probably wake up with a massive headache in a few hours, but Kylo didn’t have that long. Clearly there were others involved, and he needed to find out who. He pulled out his phone and sent a text to Vic asking him to send one of the Knights to collect this kid for questioning.

He turned around to face the crowded venue again, eyes on the skyline, scanning the upper level seating and the towers of speakers that dotted the area. _Nothing._

The sniper was good, Kylo would give them that much. He launched himself into the air, uncaring of the oblivious crowd surrounding the area, and perched himself atop a set of stadium lights to watch the show and stay vigilant.

Rey’s voice was intoxicating, and he almost lost his presence of mind watching her. He could feel the ache radiating through her, and it mirrored his own. _I’m here. I’m here. I just need to make sure you’re safe..._ and he would. As Rey spoke to the audience and announced the show coming to an end, he felt the thoughts of another wayward vampire brush across his mind. _Yes, little girl. Just stay right there and don’t move. Perfect shot_. Exhilaration and the thrill of the hunt flooded Kylo’s senses. He had felt that before but there was a mania behind this feeling that he’d never experienced himself. This wasn’t the thrill of an animal being fed; this was a crazed need to kill for sport. It was cold and senseless; no doubt coming from the crazed vampire intent on finishing the deed. 

His mind scanned, trying to zero in on the manic buzz from the would-be killer’s mind. _Ah, there you are, you thief. You won’t be taking any lives tonight. She’s mine._ He found the sniper positioned high away from the crowd in the rafters. All this time Kylo had been so focused on the crowd that he didn’t consider that the sniper would have secured a location away from prying eyes. _Could he have been one of the crew? Someone with credentials?_ The thought crossed his mind briefly, but quickly darted away as Kylo took to the air and planted himself directly behind the sniper and his gun. Just as Kylo lifted the vampire into the air by the neck, his finger slipped on the trigger. He was momentarily relieved to see that the shot had landed on one of the stage lights before he registered the blood gushing from Rey’s arm. _Damn shrapnel._ She was bleeding. She was hurt. He hadn’t been fast enough to stop it. 

A deafening roar escaped his mouth as his vision darkened momentarily, the rage completely eclipsing his sense. His blood was singing, rejoicing in the violent rage that tore through him as he gripped the offending vampire by the neck and _tore._ Kylo returned to his senses enough to hear the deep _thud_ of the sniper’s skull and body hitting the ground separately. With his head torn from his body, the sniper had no hope of regeneration but Kylo didn’t care. He had his first taste of vengeance, and he would find the rest of the rats’ nest later. 

_Rey._ His eyes darted to the stage and he saw her lying sprawled unconscious on the dark stage. Hardly seconds had passed since the shot had been taken, and none of the audience had registered anything other than some technical difficulties. The members of Rey’s band had yet to process what was happening, so he took his chance. He jumped from the rafters, soared over the audience, and landed silently at Rey’s side.

She was pale and barely breathing. She hadn’t lost much blood yet, but she was skin and bones, and had likely been overcome by the shock mixing with adrenaline. His heart lurched. _I was almost too late._ If she were to die on him, he’d be lost. _It’s okay, angel. I’ve got you._ He scooped her up in his arms and took a moment to caress her cheek, relishing the softness and the warmth that still lingered there. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he took to the sky. 

* * *

Rey woke up on a cloud, or at least that was what it felt like. As she slowly regained consciousness she registered the nest of silk pillows and blankets that she had been nestled in. She sat up slowly, careful of the sting that shot through her shoulder. She looked around into the dim lights of the room, and immediately noticed the deep reds and jewel tones that adorned the walls and bedding. She was surrounded by candlelight, and as her eyes adjusted she struggled to remember how she got to this place. _  
_ _  
_ The chain of events was difficult for her to parse through. She remembered the roar of the crowd and how they demanded every last drop of her soul. She remembered the aching loneliness in her chest that had somehow disappeared. _When did I pass out? What the fuck happened to my shoulder?_

_Oh._ The memories flooded back in pieces, like shards shooting through her mind. She remembered something sharp slicing through her upper arm. She remembered the blood. She remembered the floor as it rushed up to meet her. She remembered strong arms and broad chest, and the wind _so cold_ against her skin. 

She became vaguely concerned with the safety of her band members, but that thought was pushed aside momentarily when she heard sounds coming from the other side of the door. Tentatively, Rey shifted her weight and swung her legs over the side of the ridiculously plush mattress and touched her feet down on the ornate rug covering the room. She stood slowly, assessing her balance and making sure she hadn’t sustained any further injuries. Her first steps were surprisingly steady as she made her way to the door leading to what she assumed was the rest of the house. 

Upon opening the door to the bedroom, Rey was immediately met with the overwhelming smell of baked goods. She couldn’t quite put her finger on the smell, but it made her mouth water. She crept down the hallway - _Where are my shoes? Why is this floor so fucking cold?-_ towards the smell, and the soft light that accompanied it. 

A huge black-cashmere-clad mountain greeted her. Ben was bent over to grab something out of the oven, and the muffled _“Shit!”_ that came out of his mouth caused her to erupt in incredulous giggles. He turned around at the sound, and Rey was met with an extremely unexpected sight. 

  
Ben was standing in the middle of the kitchen dressed in a soft-looking black sweater, and jeans. His hair was perfectly swept back out of his face, and his eyes were wide with some indiscernible emotion. All of this was to be expected, once she realized that he was here. What Rey was _not_ expecting to see were Ben’s hands, covered with comically large oven mitts, holding an incredibly sad, deflated souffle. 

She was also _not_ expecting the tears that suddenly ran down her face, as he began to speak. “Rey, um, I thought you might be hungry when you woke up, so I wanted to make you something…” he trailed off when he looked up and saw her tears. “I’m sorry. It didn’t exactly work out, but I can always heat up something else, if you want…” 

Rey stared at him incredulously. “You made me a souffle,” she whispered, unable to fully find her voice in the moment. “ Of all the things you could make, you pick something ridiculously difficult...” The tears ran full force just as much in praise of his efforts as in anger at him for being an absolute imbecile.

“Yes, I did. Or at least, I tried,” Ben replied, looking down at the disaster in his hands.

“You left me. wake up in this house that I’ve never seen before. I walk in here, and you’ve made me a souffle.” The only thing betraying Rey’s emotions were the tears trickling down her cheeks, but her voice remained steady. She was completely dumbstruck. _He’s here. I missed him. He’s an idiot. I’m going to punch him. Breathe. Make words come out. You can do this._

“Like I said, I tried to. It didn’t exactly work out, but I wanted -” Ben babbled, floundering for the right words to say that would make this okay. 

_Oh, to Hell with what he wants!_ “What? What did you _want_ Ben?” she hissed through clenched teeth. A lump was forming in her throat, and if she let go of her control now, she was going to lose her shit. 

“To make it up to you, or at least, I thought it might be a start-” He registered her murderous expression and stopped short. 

_Nope. Absolutely not._ “So, you leave me on a beach alone with a _dead body_ , don’t speak to me for a year, and you think making me fucking _French baked goods_ is going to be enough to get back into my good graces?” She was positively seething. _He has no idea how much he fucked me up, does he?_

“No, no, of course not, I -” Ben fumbled with his words as he placed the wrecked souffle onto the counter and removed the oven mitts. 

She cut him off. “You really are unbelievable.” She crossed her arms across her chest, closing herself off from the conversation. 

“Rey, stop -”

“No. I am not doing this. I’ve spent the last year trying to make something of myself before it’s all _over_ and trying to get you to fucking _see me_ and I just…” Rey turned her back on him, walking into what she could only guess was the living room of this unknown house. Her lips were trembling, along with her hands. Her skin was crawling, and she suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe. _I need to get out of here before I explode, or do something stupid like...forgive him._ Her nails dug into the skin of her hands in an attempt to reign herself in, but it wasn’t working. 

Ben, for his part, wasn’t giving up. “Rey, please. Please just listen to me.” 

Rey whirled on him, her voice rising in volume, bordering on yelling. _So much for reigning it in._ “What could you possibly have to say that would make this better, Ben?”

The tears poured down her face unashamedly as she turned away from him again to push her way through the glass doors that led out onto a covered patio. Even in the dark of the night, she could see the silhouette of mountains against the starlit sky. Her pulse began to slow slightly, calming with the deep breaths of fresh air that she took. She heard Ben’s footsteps behind her and she turned to him again, slowly this time. 

She took one more deep breath and squared her shoulders, steeling herself for this conversation. She kept her fists clenched tightly at her sides - an anchor to keep her from flying off the handle. “Fine. Talk.” 

“I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you from this, from me, but I wasn’t. I just put you in more danger by staying away...by leaving you human…” Rey could tell he was grasping at straws, trying his best to put words together. _He talks with his hands when he’s nervous._ Well, fuck nerves. She was too angry to care. 

“This isn’t about me being in danger, Ben. This is about me trying to give you _everything,_ trying to give you _me_ and you pushing me away as hard as you possibly could. And then you swoop in, and expect me to just...what? Fall into your arms like nothing happened?” _Yes. Yes, that’s absolutely what I want to do. But I can’t, and I won’t, because that would be wrong...right?_

Ben immediately rebuffed. “No, I don’t expect that. I just wanted you safe, after what happened. I want to try to earn your trust, Rey.”   
  


Rey’s anger took a momentary back-seat with this new opportunity to put puzzle pieces together. “What do you mean, after what happened? How did I even get here? Where is _here_?” She remembered bits and pieces of the evening, but the ins and outs were still fuzzy. 

Ben blinked slowly as if her words confused him. “You don’t remember what happened at the concert?” 

“No. I remember...something...metal? My shoulder hurts. I remember you carrying me, but I don’t know where the metal came from or how we got here.” Her brow creased and she could feel herself frowning. Missing these details made her feel helpless. 

“You were shot at. Again. I took out the sniper before he could get a clear shot, but the falling debris from the light fixture that was hit cut your shoulder.” Ben spoke slowly, as if calming some kind of caged animal. 

Rey suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe. _Are they always going to be after me?_ The rising panic in her gut caused her words to come out tightly. “Oh, so you...killed the assassin?” 

“Yes,” Ben answered matter of factly. 

Rey’s breath came a little easier knowing that someone had paid for their actions. _He was there. He protected me._ “Oh, that’s good…so the band is safe?”

“Yes. They were never in any danger.” 

“Lovely. Just me then.” Rey paused, taking her first full breath in minutes, and grounded herself. “So, where are we? Physically, I mean.” 

“This house belongs to my mother. We’re up north in Sonoma. My dad thought it would be a good place to keep you safe until…” 

_Hold on. What?_ “Your dad?” 

Ben gave a harsh chuckle, averted his eyes, and ran his fingers through his hair. _Another thing he does when he’s nervous._ “Yeah. Apparently I _didn’t_ commit patricide two centuries ago. My mother turned him before he died, and kept him hidden away, I guess. We haven’t exactly hashed out the details. He’s the one who warned me about this assassin.” His eyes locked with hers before speaking again, his voice deep with growing intensity. “Just another thing I missed while I was too busy pining over you. Or, rather, trying my best to ignore my feelings for you, to both of our detriments.” He looked up at her from beneath his lashes, his eyes almost bashful as they questioned her. 

She stepped towards him, mirroring the question in his eyes. “Pining?” she whispered. 

He mimicked her step, closing the distance between them and bringing his hand to her cheek softly. It was their only point of contact, but Rey’s heart was pounding in her ears and her skin tingled where his fingertips lingered. 

“Rey, what do you think this is for me? A game?” His brows drew together to form a deep crease in his forehead. He looked almost pained as he continued, “I’ve wanted you every second of every day since I left that beach. I haven’t been feeding enough, I rarely sleep, and my leadership has been, quite frankly, laughable. I’ve been a mess without you. I can’t believe I was such an idiot.” His face relaxed slightly as his hand traveled from her cheek to her neck, and down to rest on her upper arm. His eyes followed his hand as his gaze grew from shy to hungry. 

Rey reached up to his face with both hands, pulling his eyes back to hers. “Yeah. Yeah, you were.” 

He bent forward until his forehead was resting against Rey’s, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply. “I’ll never be able to apologize enough, but I will spend the rest of eternity trying if you’ll let me. I need you. Our people need you.” 

Rey laughed, all of the remaining anger and tension melting from her body as she slid her arms from his cheeks to rest around his neck. “I’m glad you finally figured that out, you big fucking dummy.” 

Before she could lose her nerve, she wove her fingers into his hair and pulled his lips down to meet hers in the gentlest whisper of a kiss. He was slow to respond, seeming completely caught off guard by her affection. Eventually, he thawed and Rey sighed into the kiss as his arms wrapped around her waist. 

Rey pulled her lips inches away from his, and she felt his lips ghost down her neck to press soft kisses there. She laughed, delighted by his enthusiasm and riding the high of anticipation that shot through her. “You know we’re not done talking about this.” 

She felt his answering smile against her skin before he pulled away to look into her eyes again. His thumb came up to brush her cheek gently, indulgently. “I know. But we have forever, don’t we?” 

_Do we?_ “That depends. Are you planning to bring me into the Blood, or am I to be subjected to Luke’s ritualized version that includes an audience?” She raised her eyebrow, simultaneously challenging him and begging him not to allow that to happen. She didn’t need to worry. It was clear from Ben’s reaction that the idea was off the table. His brows drew together and his lip crinkled in disgust. He shook his head. 

“I won’t let them do that. It’ll just be us. Okay? Tomorrow. Tonight, I just want…” His gaze dropped to her neck, and she felt his fingers digging into her waist just a little too tightly to be comfortable. 

“What do you want, Ben?” she whispered. 

His eyes darkened as he brought his face closer to hers, closing the distance and whispering against her lips. “Just you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next...the smuttening. 
> 
> [Rey's outfit](https://pin.it/NJqVVKY)  
> [Ben's outfit](https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/a.p.c.-crewneck-sweater?ID=3798098&CategoryID=3864)  
> [Leia's house in Sonoma](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1861-Hale-Rd-Sonoma-CA-95476/96068673_zpid/?fbclid=IwAR3E-RtFXF_sSvDO5vUXOdCns1dibMRVmecDypxVcNKgiBJhtso-z4bsn1M&mmlb=g,9)  
> [Souffles are really hard to make](https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/food/1999/04/07/fear-of-falling-why-bad-souffles-happen-to-good-cooks/99c0df3b-6a2c-4df9-b9b1-298b3a0c5180/)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hi,” she said, grinning with satisfaction and looking up at him as if he’d hung the moon. 
> 
> He smiled back, locking his insecurity away. “Hi, yourself,” he said, bending to place a chaste kiss against her sternum. He slid his hands underneath her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her sideways so she was on her side and they lay nose to nose. “How do you feel?”
> 
> “You mean other than completely blissed out?” He huffed a laugh, and she continued, “I feel whole. I feel fine. Just sleepy. My whole body feels heavy.” Her words slurred just a little, and he could feel her slipping into unconsciousness, sated and exhausted from the blood loss. Her eyelids fluttered closed as her face relaxed in sleep. 
> 
> He kissed her forehead, stroking his hands down her back before reaching down to pull the lush comforter over top of them. “Sleep, angel,” he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sex is here. This chapter is literally just 4k words of feelings, sex, and a tiny bit of talking through some emotional trauma. Enjoy!

Everything in Ben’s body screamed that this was _right_ and _good._ Her lips moved against his in the most hypnotizing way, fulfilling him in a way he didn’t know he needed. He tightened his arms around her before lifting her off of the ground entirely. Her quiet gasp in the back of her throat had him smiling against her lips as he swiped his arm under her knees and pulled her fully into his arms- _like a bride being carried over the threshold into a new life_. 

He pulled away to look into her eyes, and her eyebrows raised in shock. He knew what she was seeing. His eyes had darkened, the edges of his irises turning red and his pupils widening until they nearly eclipsed any color his eyes once had. It was a look of hunger, the eyes of a hunter. She should have been afraid, but he felt nothing from her but overwhelming affection and a need for _more_ that nearly rivaled his own. 

He moved with supernatural speed, carrying her to the bedroom and laying her down gently on the mattress. The candles that he had lit for her were still burning, giving the room a dim light that contoured against the enchanting features of her high cheeks and lightly jutting collarbones. _Bite._ His instincts were bubbling beneath the surface, and he could feel his control slipping. _No. Not yet. You’ll scare her. She’ll run. But_ fuck _she smells so delicious..._

He stood at the edge of the bed, warring with himself. Rey, perceptive as she was, sat up and looked at him. “What is it?” 

Ben took a deep inhale through his nostrils, filling himself with her scent. “Rey, I, um,-” he swallowed, “I want to be gentle. I don’t want to hurt you, I….” _want to eat you up...in every way imaginable._

She turned her body to face him, and placed both of her hands on his chest. In this position, she was almost his height - a novel position for them both. She looked at him squarely, refusing to be intimidated. “I’m not scared of you, Ben.” 

“I know princess, but you should be,” he said, even as his hands drifted over her thighs skimming the tulle of her skirt before settling on her waist. 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat and she moved her hands to lace her fingers in his hair. She pulled him towards her lips, and whispered, “Prove it.”

The growl of animalistic _want_ that came from deep within his chest was _definitely_ not human, and once again he worried about scaring her by showing her too much of the animalistic side of himself. He closed the miniscule distance between their lips and kissed her with near punishing force, every ounce of desperation in his soul poured into it. His tongue begged entrance to her mouth, and she opened for him, pulling him closer so that her chest brushed against his and he could feel her pert nipples through the fabric of her top. 

Ben grabbed her by the waist, shifting her so that she rested farther on the bed as he climbed in to hover over her. He was careful not to crush her with his weight, but she was apparently hell-bent on proving that she was _not_ delicate and she did _not_ want to be gentle. It was abundantly clear to him that there was one thing she definitely did want, and she quickly began to fight against him, pushing until she was on top and grinding down onto his hardening length. 

Ben rolled them both, so that Rey was pinned beneath him, her arms held above her head in the gently firm grip of his large hands. He pulled away to look at her, cherishing the rosiness of her cheeks, her soft reddened lips, and her hair fanned out in different directions against the pillows. 

“You are so perfect,” he whispered, his voice dripping with desperation and awe. 

Rey had the unmitigated gall to _giggle_ at that moment. “You’re not doing a very good job of being menacing, Supreme Leader.” 

He freed one of her hands, only to reach up and grasp her jaw tightly, applying light pressure to her throat. He watched as her eyes widened with just a _twinge_ of fear, that was quickly replaced by arousal. Ben smiled smugly, flashing his fangs at her before releasing his grip on her throat and moving his hand to cup her jaw. He lowered his mouth to her neck, nipping softly. 

“How’s that for _menacing_ , sweetheart?” he growled in her ear. He kept his mouth on her neck, sucking and nipping to his heart’s content, relishing the little gasps he pulled from her throat. He pulled away to assess his handy-work, tracing a finger over the light bruise blossoming on her skin. _Mine._

The animalistic need to _possess - to claim -_ pulled him back to her lips as he kissed her, his attempt at tenderness fading into something much more primal as his teeth scraped at her bottom lip. The memory of being without her, the aching void in his chest, the thought of what could have happened to her tonight, all fueled his need to ensure that she was _here_ and _his._ He wanted to erase the coldness that had been eroding his weary soul and replace it with the warmth of her: body, soul, and blood. 

Rey eagerly responded to his passion and fought to free one of her arms from his grip, reaching up to caress his cheek and down the side of his neck. She tucked one of her knees up around his hip, the motion driving her tulle skirt up to expose her thighs. Ben reached down to glide his hands across the skin of her legs until she opened them for him. He stroked softly up the inside of her thigh, teasing her gently, and stopped right before touching her _there._

  
  


She moaned, and wriggled against him, breaking the kiss. “Touch me. _Please,”_ she whimpered as she canted her hips up, trying desperately to gain some sort of friction. 

Ben smiled, enraptured by her eager desire for him, and slid his hand up to rest against the cotton panties she wore. “Is this what you wanted, angel?” His voice was slightly taunting, not betraying the deep _need_ that he felt for her approval of his touch… for her to say _yes, yes that’s perfect._

She whimpered a _yes_ and he began to pet her pussy through the cotton of her panties, lightly teasing her until a wet spot formed through the fabric as she grew crazed and wild with frustration. 

“ _Please_ Ben,” Rey growled through clenched teeth, “I need more. Please.” 

Her need was like an elixir to Ben, the affirmation of their bond a balm to his soul. He didn’t ever want her to _stop_ needing him. “You’ll get more. Patience, princess.” He pulled his hand away from her wet core, skimmed it up her middle, and gently cupped her breast, thumbing her nipple through the fabric of her top. She growled in frustration again, despite her tiny gasp of approval at the sensation. 

“Are you going to settle on a pet name eventually?” Ben could hear the eyeroll in her voice, and it made him chuckle. He knew she was trying to distract herself from how he was making her feel, and if she was willing to pick a fight over nicknames, he knew her frustration at his teasing touch was working her up exactly the way he’d hoped it would. He took a moment and humored her with a truthful answer.

“Probably not. You’re so many things to me. Sweet,” he sucked another bruise into the skin above her breast, as his hands traveled to her front to pull at the laces of her corset-like top, “an absolute angel,” he pulled her up into a sitting position, briefly resting on his heels as he ripped her corset straight down the middle with ease. Ben paused for a moment, transfixed by the satiny softness of her skin as he ran his hands down her ribcage, eliciting a shiver from her. He used those hands to lower her back to the bed before sucking one perfectly pink nipple into his mouth. “-and, you’re _my_ princess in our bed,” _our bed,_ “because I plan to worship at your feet for as long as you’ll let me.”

He raised his eyes to look at her, and was startled by Rey’s expression. She wasn’t writhing in pleasure, flushed and pleased as he expected her to be. 

She was crying. 

_What did I do wrong?_ He felt his brow crease with worry as he rolled to the side, pulling her into his embrace and petting her hair as she sobbed into his chest. 

“Shh, angel, _Rey_ , it’s okay. Will you tell me what’s wrong?” His eyes were swimming with tears of his own, his vision blurring red, as he fought them back. _If I stain these sheets with blood, mother will kill me._

Her sobs quieted eventually, and she looked up at him. “Nothing’s wrong. I just…” she pressed her cheek to his chest and hugged him tighter, “I’ve never felt this way before...this _cherished_ . And for so long I...I thought you didn’t want me, like everyone else, and I spent _so much_ of my life feeling alone, forgotten, and unwanted. With you, I feel _loved_ and _wanted_ , and I don’t know what to do with that.” She sniffled again, and pushed away from him, and he didn’t stop her. He just followed her with his eyes as she sat up and hugged her knees to her naked chest. 

“I’m sorry I ruined this. I’m sorry for being so pathetic…for having a breakdown just when everything is starting to come together...” she was starting to babble and he needed to stop her before she said anything _more_ ridiculous. 

Ben leaned forward and gently placed a single finger under her chin, guiding her head to the side so he could see her eyes. He just looked at her for a moment - he couldn’t _stop_ looking at her - taking in her hazel eyes as they glistened with unshed tears, and her flushed red cheeks and nose that contrasted so prettily against the paleness of her skin. She _had_ to know... 

“I love you, Rey,” he said plainly, as if it were the most mundane and natural thing in the world; as if he had said it a million times before this. He knew that loving Rey was inevitable- built into his blood. Even if he hadn’t been _built_ to love her, he would have still been captivated by her haunted gaze, her tenacity, the way she felt everything so _deeply_ , and attacked challenges with unrivaled ferocity. She was fierce- a warrior, and every bit the Empress she was destined to be. 

Her eyes widened at his statement, and he couldn’t believe she was shocked. It seemed so _obvious_ to him. “Yeah?” she asked, and his heart shattered. _Oh, angel, I will never let you doubt me again. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…_

He leaned in closer to her, gently brushing his lips against hers, his finger running down the column of her throat and in between her breasts as her breathing started to quicken once again. “Yeah,” he whispered against her lips before taking her lips in an achingly tender kiss. 

This time, he beat her to the punch and tangled his hands in her hair, inhaling her lush scent while he kissed her. He pulled her beneath him before sitting up to pull his sweater over his head. She reached her arms up to run them over his chest, and down his abs, fully taking in the sight of his bare skin. Her hands stopped right above his waistband, and he grabbed her wrists, pinning her down to the bed again.   
  


“Why?” she pouted. 

“Because. You first, princess.” He smirked at her when she groaned, and started kissing his way from her neck, down her chest, pausing to kiss each of her nipples and flick then with his tongue teasingly. He sucked tiny bruises into the soft skin of her stomach, as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of her skirt and panties, pulling them off one motion. 

He sat back on his heels again, placing his hands on her inner thighs and opening her for him. “You’re so pretty here.” He bent down to rest his body on the bed, putting himself eye level with her cunt. “So wet for me…so ready...” Ben shifted his hand to brush his thumb down her slit, and looked up when he heard her gasp with delight. This time, there were no unexpected tears when he gazed up at her. Her sweet gasps sang of only anticipation and longing. 

Her eyes were trained on him, and he kept her locked in his gaze as he bent his head to lick a wide stripe from her soaking wet opening to her swollen clit. He hummed against her in satisfaction, and her eyes rolled back slightly before he spoke to her again, “I knew every bit of you would taste absolutely _divine.”_ She tasted like she was made for him: sweet, tart, and absolutely delectable. He traced a finger through her wetness before he continued, “so sweet, so delicate, and _hot…”_ His middle finger dipped into her core, and she gasped as he slid in all the way to the top knuckle, curling it to elicit more sweet sounds from her mouth.

“Do you like that, Rey? Or do you want my mouth back?” His lips hovered over her, anticipating her answer. 

“Both, _please_ Ben…” 

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” 

He bent to kiss her like he would kiss her mouth, savoring the taste of her wetness against his lips. His mouth nearly covered all of her as he lapped up her wetness, refusing to waste a drop of it. He gently removed his middle finger before entering her again with two fingers, pressing firmly against the rough spot just inside her walls and sucking her clit into his mouth at the same time. 

Rey gasped above him, and her hips ground against his mouth as he continued his assault on her pussy, eating her out like she was the only meal he would ever have again. 

She clenched around his fingers, and he growled against her skin as she reached her hands down to wind her fingers in his hair and _tug_ . She was so fragile, so _human_ and the comparatively miniscule strength in her hands endeared her to him even more. _I’ll take care of you, protect you, be strong for you._

“Yes, Ben. Please don’t stop...please don’t stop... _please please please…”_

He raised his eyes to look at her again, and her disheveled hair and flushed face spurred him on. He sucked and licked her with renewed vigor, thrusting his fingers into her firmly as she continued to grind against him. 

“ _Fuck_ , Ben _…”_ He could feel her pussy clenching around his fingers as he drove her steadily towards her release. He curled his fingers even more firmly, coaxing her to come apart in his hands. His soul needed it, needed her to be broken down for him the way he was for her. 

“ _Yes,_ sweetheart,” he growled. “You’re so tight, so _wet_ _._ Please come for me. I need it...need you to feel good…need you to be mine...” he murmured against her skin before sucking her clit into his mouth and flicking quickly with his tongue. 

Rey cried out, trembling as she came on his mouth and the sound of her letting go was the sweetest thing Ben had ever heard. Her voice raised in pitch, her breath coming in quick little gasps, her mouth open for him so, _so_ delicately...it was all he would ever need. He licked her gently, slowing the rocking of his fingers inside her as he prolonged and then brought her down gently from her orgasm. 

When her fingers went limp in his hair, he rose up on his elbows to look at her. She was smiling down at him, limp and sated and bordering on delirious, but the sight was so sweet he just _had_ to kiss her. He crawled up her body and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, groaning as she slipped her tongue into his mouth to caress his. He was sure she could taste herself on him, and that thought made his already raging erection throb almost painfully. 

He knew she felt it when she smiled against his lips and pushed at his chest, attempting to force him onto his back. He obliged, eager to see what she would do next. 

“It’s your turn,” she said coyly as her hand traced down his chest, coming to rest on the button of his jeans. 

“You don’t have to…” He trailed off as she unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs along with his boxers, stopping to yank his socks off his feet. 

She locked eyes with him once the job was done, and smiled with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Oh, I know. I want to.” She reached up and wrapped her hand around his cock - _fuck, her hand is so small, so soft_ \- pumping it a few times preemptively, assessing him. He felt vulnerable under her gaze. He knew he wasn't lacking in terms of size, and he’d never had any complaints, but her opinion was the only one that mattered anymore. 

He hissed when her tongue flicked out and lapped up the pre-cum accumulating on the tip. “You are going to _actually_ kill me,” gasped out, his voice breaking as she sucked the tip of his cock into her wet mouth. 

She pulled off of him with a _pop,_ continuing to work him with her hand. “A little girl like me? Kill you? Oh, for shame, Supreme Leader.” She kissed the tip of his cock, locking her taunting eyes with his as she ran her tongue down the length of his shaft. 

“ _Ah_ , fuck shame. Just put my cock in your mouth, _please_ Rey…” he whimpered, turning into a melting, shaking mess beneath her hands. 

“And now you’re begging? Looks like I’m going to be running things after all.” Despite her taunting, she obliged him, taking what she could into her mouth and working the rest with her hand, nearly sucking the life out of him. 

“You can do _whatever you want_ as long as you don’t stop doing that.” He reached his right hand down to wrap his fingers in her hair, guiding her up and down on his cock in a slow, sensual rhythm. He wanted to savor the glide of her lips, and the flick of her tongue against his sensitive skin. 

She hummed, sending vibrations through his cock that nearly made him come undone. _Okay, enough._

“ _Fuck_ , Rey, please. I need to fuck you. Can I? Please?” He could hear the desperation in his own voice and did not have the energy to give a fuck about how pathetic he sounded. He needed her. 

“As you wish, Supreme Leader,” she said playfully, and _fuck_ if that didn’t turn him on even more. Something about having her perched so prettily on her knees with his cock in her hand calling him _Supreme Leader_ just _did_ something to him. He sat up and grabbed her behind the head to pull her into a punishing kiss before dragging her beneath him again. 

He settled his hips into the soft cradle of her thighs, and felt her delicate fingers dig into his arms as he rocked his pelvis against her. His cock slid through the wetness at her core and she gasped as he ground against her clit, her sounds intensifying his need to _own_ her pleasure. 

Ben pulled away from her lips to look down into her eyes and found them clouded with a desire that mirrored his own. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she was staring into his soul - breaking him down one wall at a time, as if she were meant to take up residence within the fortress he had built around his heart so very long ago. The feeling had started all those months ago in a dark alley, and it had reached its peak here in this bed. He couldn’t find it in himself to mind anymore.

He moved one of his hands down to rub his cock against her wetness, releasing her gaze in favor of latching his lips to her pebbled nipple. He flicked his tongue against her skin, once again savoring the tiny whimper that escaped her lips. “Ben, please,” she whined. He let go of her nipple and moved his other hand to grip her jaw. 

“Keep your eyes on me, princess. Okay?” His voice was gravely with need, the animal in him creeping out to play, steadily breaking out of its cage. He knew that his eyes had grown darker, his fangs more pronounced, and it warmed him to see that she wasn’t afraid. 

Her eyes cleared slightly, focusing intently on his as he _finally_ pushed his cock against her entrance. He pressed into her, watching as her lips parted on a groan, and couldn’t resist bending to capture her plush bottom lip between his teeth to tug on it. Her eyes stayed focused on him as he released her lip, her brow creasing in an expression that bordered on pain as he pressed deeper. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” she gasped, her eyes momentarily fluttering and rolling back into her head. He pulled out slightly, and pressed back into her, finally bottoming out. He stilled, allowing her to adjust to his size, and watched intently as her brow relaxed. Soon her hips began to rock up against him insistently. 

He chuckled, and his lips pulled back to expose his fangs before he said, “Eager, are we sweetheart?” He thrust into her once, forcefully grinding against the sweet spot inside that made her gasp again. 

“Fuck you,” she said as she gasped a laugh back at him. Her eyes closed, and her head tilted back to expose her throat as his pace slowly increased with the pressure of his thrusts. 

Ben’s eyes zeroed in on the pulsing vein in her neck and he couldn’t resist bringing his lips down to suck and kiss at it again. He reached down with his opposite hand to grasp her thigh and hitch it higher against his hip, deepening the thrust of his cock as his teeth grazed her throat. 

Her hands slid down his back to grip his behind, attempting to force him harder into her as she growled in frustration. He knew what she wanted, but he was afraid to give it to her. Afraid it would be too much. Afraid that he wouldn’t know how to _stop._

“Do it, Ben. Please.” 

He pulled back from her neck to look into her eyes again, and found them shining with tears again- but this time they were tears of frustration, of a deep seated need that reflected his own: a need to _take_ and to _give_ that cycled between them endlessly. 

He forced himself up onto his knees, pulling one of her legs up to rest on his shoulder as he thrust into her with reckless abandon, hitting that spot inside of her that had her clenching around his length and teetering on the edge of orgasm. 

“Say it. You have to tell me what you want, Rey,” he growled out. “ _Say it._ ” 

She let out a nearly inhuman sound as she hurtled towards her peak, rising with every thrust of his hips. She babbled out her pleas, “Please, bite me, please. I need you to... _please…_ ” 

He snarled a garbled “ _Fuck yes_ ,” in answer, releasing her leg and leaving it hitched around his waist as his hand shot out to grip her throat, turning her to expose her delicate neck to him. He kissed her throat as his last shred of sanity fled and he opened his mouth to sink his teeth into her. 

Her blood trickled into his mouth, and he swore he was dying. _Why was I afraid of this, again? This could never be wrong._ There was nothing that existed on Earth that could compare to the taste of her: like life and light, vanilla and spice, sweet and absolutely _essential_. 

He drank from her as his hips continued to gently rock them both towards release. His hands gripping both of hers tied them together in this intimate space- one more physical manifestation of the connection being forged between them. Her life fed into his and he groaned as he spent himself inside of her, marking her physically in yet another way. One final thrust sent Rey spiraling into her own orgasm, the vibrations of her moans reverberating against his lips as he drank. 

Somehow, the rational part of his brain engaged just enough for him to register when her hands started to grow limp beneath his. His body was spent, growing soft within her as he unlatched from her throat, lapping at her skin to seal the two small wounds he left behind. He felt whole, for the first time in his long life, thanks to this human girl that he never expected to wreck him so fully. 

He raised himself up on his elbows to look at her. A shy smile played across her lips, and the expression in her eyes was soft as she brought a hand up to grip his chin, pulling him in for a kiss. He knew his lips were still coated in her blood, but she didn’t seem to mind. He smiled against her lips, pulling away to caress her hair back out of her face. 

“Hi,” she said, grinning with satisfaction and looking up at him as if he’d hung the moon. _I don’t deserve you._

He smiled back, locking his insecurity away. “Hi, yourself,” he said, bending to place a chaste kiss against her sternum. He slid his hands underneath her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her sideways so she was on her side and they lay nose to nose. “How do you feel?”

“You mean other than completely blissed out?” He huffed a laugh, and she continued, “I feel _whole_. I feel fine. Just sleepy. My whole body feels heavy.” Her words slurred just a little, and he could feel her slipping into unconsciousness, sated and exhausted from the blood loss. Her eyelids fluttered closed as her face relaxed in sleep. 

He kissed her forehead, stroking his hands down her back before reaching down to pull the lush comforter over top of them. “Sleep, angel,” he whispered. 

Rey needed no encouragement. She was already out cold. He smiled again, suddenly taken aback by the ache in his jaw from smiling more than he had in centuries. He glanced at the window in the bedroom to see the beginnings of morning light trickling in from between the heavy curtains. 

With a sigh, Ben settled in beside Rey and pulled her closer. He would protect her as she slept, just as he intended to do for the rest of eternity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more to come, I promise. In the meantime, leave me some kudos and comments and let me know how you feel about the story so far! You can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kayla_248) if you want! 
> 
> I don't think there are any links for this chapter, other than a quick link to the [Spotify Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3bSX3mX1mOyydGLD6GPLMO?si=FXLYbSZYQ2WY5-NwSNpJSA)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey felt Ben sink to his knees behind her, moving to wrap his arms around her waist. “I’d never ask you for something you wouldn’t willingly give.” 
> 
> “How presumptuous of you to believe I’m singing about you,” she deadpanned. Yet, she couldn’t completely hide her smile as her mouth crept into a smirk. 
> 
> She felt his responding growl vibrate through her body as he pressed against her back, and she giggled. “Watch it, sweetheart,” he hissed as he nipped playfully at her neck. She moaned lightly at the sensation, reaching a hand back to run her fingers through his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> It's been a bit longer than I anticipated since my last update, but this is probably my longest one yet lol. 
> 
> Things get a little more graphic in this chapter. I will give a brief description in the end notes. 
> 
> I've updated the playlistfor this fic, so please please go check it out. Hit the last 3 songs if you really want to get in the mood for this chapter. 
> 
> Also, check out the FABULOUS artwork that should give you a little tease for the chapter. Art work done by @faunary. Check them out on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/faunary)
> 
> We also get to REALLY meet a new character in this chapter. Let me know what you think of Ushara!

Rey woke up alone in the dark. The candles had long burned out it seemed that the sun had melted out of the sky hours ago. She sat up, the comforter falling away and causing goosebumps to rise on her naked skin. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she noticed something hanging on the ornate full-length mirror in front of the bed. Curious, she turned out of the bed and padded across the carpeted floor, pausing to flick on a light. 

The first thing she found was a note folded perfectly and resting on a table next to a glass of water. She looked up before opening the note, and saw a delicate garment hanging from the mirror. She reached out to touch it, taking in the softness of the fabric as she let it fall from her grasp. Her brow creased in confusion at the same time that her heart clenched, knowing this must be a gift. 

Rey had been given more gifts in the past year than she ever had in her life. It hadn’t gotten easier. 

She blinked tears from her eyes and opened the note still resting on the table beside her. 

_Rey,_

_If you wake up before I return, please know I won’t be gone long. I’ve assigned Ushara to your watch in my absence._

_I left a gift for you. Please wear it for me? I’ve recently become intrigued by the idea of you in chiffon and lace._

_Drink plenty of water, please. There’s food for you in the fridge. I didn’t make it this time._

_I love you,_

_Ben_

She was still blushing from his _chiffon and lace_ comment when she put the note down to more closely inspect the garment that hung before her. 

It was actually fairly modest- a floor-length ivory house robe with lace detail. She wrapped it around herself before glancing up to the mirror. 

_Oh._

It was completely see through.

Her dusky pink nipples jutted from the caress of the delicate fabric that shielded them - _barely_ , and the dark curls at the apex of her thighs were vaguely visible. She eyed herself in the mirror, refusing to be ashamed. After the previous night, she felt powerful, like a warrior who had finally claimed her prize. She felt good, _powerful_ even, despite the bruises that blotted her neck, and the weariness she still felt from the blood loss. 

She remembered Ben’s instructions and grabbed the glass of water, downing it in one go before venturing into the kitchen in search of food. She could feel the presence of another being around the house, but couldn’t see anyone. She knew that Ushara wouldn’t likely make an appearance. Though Rey had never met her, and never given her much thought really, what Leia had told her of the young vampire implied that she wasn’t one for small talk. 

The padding of Rey’s feet against the kitchen tiles echoed in the empty house. She opened the fridge, grabbing a takeout container that held a generous portion of lo-mein- her favorite. She managed to take a few bites - cold, straight out of the fridge - before she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

_Well, I guess I misjudged her._

Rey stabbed the disposable chopsticks into her lo-mein, refusing to look up. “You don’t have to hide, you know.” 

“I’m not hiding, Princess. Just trying to pay deference to the throne. Wouldn’t want to disturb your nutritious meal.” The sarcasm bled through Ushara’s voice, but it wasn’t antagonistic. Rey’s shoulders relaxed, and she turned around to face her visitor. 

_Fuck_ . She was pretty, with caramel skin and gently curled hair. She was dressed head to toe in a leather catsuit that was clearly meant to maintain her range of motion, but also served to make her even more appealing. Rey reeled slightly, coming to the realization that this woman had spent a _lot_ of time with Ben. _Relax, Rey. He’s yours. He proved that last night, didn’t he?_

“He did his best. It’s not like he’s eaten anything... _substantial_ in a while.” She noticed Ushara’s eyes wandering down to her chest, and blushed. _Oh, so maybe she doesn’t even like men._ Rey crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to maintain modesty and Ushara raised an eyebrow, averting her eyes respectfully. 

“Your neck tells a different story,” Ushara said, stifling a snort. 

Rey rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. Anyway, shouldn’t you be like...bowing or curtseying or something? I mean you did say I was a princess so...” 

Ushara didn’t even attempt to hide her snort this time. “Not yet, you’re not. You’ll need to be turned and married if you want any kind of title to be recognized. I believe Lord Ren is gunning for giving you the title of _Empress_ , anyway _._ Beats _princess._ ” Ushara spit the last word, clearly communicating her distaste for the word. She seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing, but Rey was reeling. 

_Married?_ Rey knew she was going to be brought into the blood... _oh fuck, that’s literally happening tonight. Okay. Breathe._ It wasn’t that she didn’t _want_ to marry Ben, it was just that they had never _talked_ about it, and everything was changing so fast. Her head was spinning, so she leaned back to grip the marble counter for support. She closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She was ready for all of this. _These are your first steps, Rey. You can do this._ The whispers were back, encouraging her and keeping her anchored to the present. 

“Rey? You good?” Ushara’s voice, and sudden closeness brought Rey out of her stupor. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I just...we hadn’t discussed the marriage thing.” 

“If I know Lord Ren even a tiny bit, he probably wanted to make it special somehow. He wouldn’t expect you to marry him for the title. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She had the sense to look guilty, but it didn’t matter. She hadn’t actually done anything wrong. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I just...need some time to think?” She was overwhelmed, swamped with feelings that she just needed time to wade through. 

Ushara reached out to pat Rey’s hand in a surprisingly familiar gesture. It was comforting. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be outside running the perimeter,” she said before turning to leave. 

“Thanks.” Rey gave her a small smile, attempting to reassure her that she wasn’t about to explode. 

“Just yell if you need anything. I’ll hear you.” 

She nodded, watching Ushara round the corner, and sunk to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest, breathing deeply, and trying to calm her racing heart. _Vampire. Empress. Wife...Nobody._ Who was she to be worthy of any of this? Her fingers played over the fabric of the robe covering her skin, and she shivered. _What does he think he’s doing, dressing me like this? Like I’m worth something?_

And then she remembered the feeling of Ben’s hands on her skin, the absolute _bliss_ of his fangs slipping through her skin, his lips sliding against hers, his whispered _I love you_ s and the warmth of his eyes on hers. She remembered the feeling of him moving inside of her, the gentle rocking of his hips and his moans vibrating through her skin as they tumbled toward oblivion together. 

_I am enough._

She stood, her legs now steady beneath her, and walked towards the piano situated in the center of the adjoining living room. She sat down, the hard seat cold against the backs of her legs, and lifted the lid over the keys.

A melody began to form in her head as her fingers moved lithely over the keys. She started to sing softly, allowing the words to flow from her heart and into the empty room. 

_“Under your spell again_

_I can't say no to you_

_Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand_

_I can't say no to you,”_

She remembered all of the months she spent pining over him, metaphorically begging at his feet and asking him to let her in. She’d honestly let him off easy yesterday, but something in her refused to deny him. Something in her just didn’t want to. 

_“Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly_

_Now I can't let go of this dream_

_I can't breathe but I feel_

_Good enough_

_I feel good enough, for you,”_

She was enough. She was good enough for him. She felt good enough for herself, and for her destiny, for the first time in her life. Her heart was so full it almost hurt, stealing the breath from her lungs, but it was delicious torture. It was decadent, and it ran deep into her bones. 

_“Drink up sweet decadence_

_I can't say no to you_

_And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind_

_I can't say no to you”_

She felt like she had lost herself, in the best possible way. Every wall that she had built in her short years had come tumbling down in a matter of hours between last night and tonight. She was being made new, and finding her true identity for the first time. 

_“_ _Shouldn't let you conquer me completely_

_Now I can't let go of this dream_

_Can't believe that I feel_

_Good enough_

_I feel good enough”_

Somehow, she knew that what she was doing was dangerous. Giving herself over to him so completely felt reckless and wrong, but so _right_ and _good._ She’d waited her whole life to feel this good. 

_“It's been such a long time coming_

_But I feel good”_

The glimmer of self doubt still held a place in the back of her mind as her fingers bore down on the keys. She’d spent so long waiting, and part of her was still just waiting for real life to slap her in the face for daring to feel this good. She’d never been able to hold onto anything good in her life. It was surreal that anything would be different now. 

_“_ _And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall_

_Pour real life down on me_

_'Cause I can't hold on_

_To anything this good enough”_

Her eyes opened, looking up in front of her at the window leading to the back door. She locked eyes with Ben’s reflection just as she felt his hands come to rest on her shoulders. She didn’t pull her eyes from his as she finished the phrase. 

_“Am I good enough_

_For you to love me too?”_

She closed her eyes, and leaned back against him as she finished the final line of the song that she’d composed in her head. 

_“So take care what you ask of me_

_'Cause I can't say no”_

Rey felt Ben sink to his knees behind her, moving to wrap his arms around her waist. “I’d never ask you for something you wouldn’t willingly give.” 

“How presumptuous of you to believe I’m singing about you,” she deadpanned. Yet, she couldn’t completely hide her smile as her mouth crept into a smirk. 

She felt his responding growl vibrate through her body as he pressed against her back, and she giggled. “Watch it, sweetheart,” he hissed as he nipped playfully at her neck. She moaned lightly at the sensation, reaching a hand back to run her fingers through his hair. 

“Where did you go?”

“Interrogation. The Knights caught one of the vampires conspiring in your um, your assassination attempt.” 

“Oh,” she said dumbly. “Did you find out who sent them?” 

Rey felt his grip on her tighten, and his breath hitched just a little against her neck. “Come on. Let me run you a bath.” He loosened his grip around her waist, and stood up to hold a hand out to her. _Well, I guess that’s it for that conversation._ She placed her hand in his and stood from the piano bench to turn and face him. 

She caught a passing glimpse of the darkness in his eyes before they softened at the sight of her. He pulled her around the piano bench, eyeing her in an appraising way before placing both of his hands on her waist and pulling her into him. 

He hummed appreciatively, taking in the sight of her nipples peeking through the chiffon and hardening under his gaze. “I see you know how to take instruction, little one.” She knew he was teasing her, but the endearment still made her flush. 

“Oh, piss off,” she grumbled, making a half-assed attempt to lean away from him. 

He snagged her by the waist again, digging his fingers under her rib cage to elicit a laugh. “Come on, princess. Don’t pretend you don’t like being told what to do,” he said with a smirk. 

“If it involves baths and fancy fabrics, I won’t complain,” she said with a giggle. 

He bent so his face was closer to hers, his eyes sobering as a ghost of a smile remained on his lips. “I will do anything you ask of me,” he whispered. His eyes drifted to her lips before he leaned down to kiss her softly. He pulled away far too soon, and released her waist in favor of her hands. “How are you feeling?”

“Physically? I feel fine. I’m a little tired, but I ate and drank the glass of water you left for me.” 

“Good. Come.” His tone was gentle, but brokered no argument as he pulled her towards the bathroom attached to the master bedroom. Just like the bedroom the previous night, the room glimmered with the warm light of dozens of candles spread around it. The massive bathtub was already full, with rose petals floating delicately across the top of the water. Rey’s eyes watered. 

“Looks like you’re already ahead of the game,” she said, her voice tight with emotion. 

“I stopped in here to set it all up before coming to get you. I...wanted it to feel special.” 

“It is,” she said, “special, I mean.” Her eyes were focused on the water in front of her, and she struggled to breathe. The anxiety over this momentous event settled like a brick in her gut as Ben moved behind her and gently pulled the robe from her shoulders, letting it slip to the ground with a whisper. 

Ben’s hands felt cool against her fevered skin as he rubbed her shoulders, attempting to relieve some of her tension. Carefully, with a voice that dripped with devotion, he whispered to her, “I don’t want to rush you. We’ll take all the time you need, okay?” She nodded stiffly, her breathing still coming quickly, her heart in her throat. He must have been able to feel the tension rolling off of her, because he continued, talking softly as if she were a wild animal about to flee, “Why don’t you go get settled? I’ll join you. We’ll wash your hair, talk, do whatever you want.” She nodded again, feeling her heart slowing its rapid pace, settling back down in her chest where it belonged. Tentatively, she walked to the edge of the tub and checked the temperature with her feet before sliding in all the way and feeling her muscles relax. 

Her gaze drifted to where he stood and _oh, the view_. Her heart jumped into her throat again, and this time for a completely different reason. Rey watched Ben’s muscles tighten as he slipped off his sweater - dark blue this time - and honed in on his structured thighs as he slid his pants down to the floor. He walked towards the edge of the tub, chuckling under his breath as she openly appreciated the view of his finely toned chest. “Are you just going to sit there gawking?” 

“Yes.” She didn’t avert her eyes, unabashedly staring at his rippling chest muscles. _I wanna sink my teeth into them._

“Hm, I thought we had more important things to do,” he said as he slipped into the tub and settled behind her. His legs braced her on either side, and she leaned back against his chest, which was now, sadly, out of her view. 

“What could be more important than staring at your ass all night?” Rey could feel his deep laughter against her back, and his arms came up to wrap around her middle. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hair. 

Ben sighed, seeming to gather his courage. “Well, I thought you might want to discuss what’s going to happen tonight.” His voice had taken on a tentative tone, the weight of their task finally settling over them. 

Rey refused to let herself feel that weight. “You’re not wrong. There are a lot of things I’d like to discuss...starting with your ass.” 

“Rey,” he warned, chastising her obvious attempt to distract him. As he waited patiently for her to answer, he reached over to fill a pitcher with water to soak her hair. The rivulets of water that streamed down her hair drained some of her tension away, but he continued to soothe her as she eased into the subject. He grabbed a bottle of expensive-looking shampoo and started to work on her hair. The scent of the suds and his fingers massaging her scalp made the last of her walls come down, making her more amenable to the difficult topic at hand.

As he worked up a lather, his fingers scraping soothingly against her scalp, she finally answered. “I’m scared,” she whispered. 

He paused again, pouring water over her hair to rinse it, and starting on her conditioner. “Me too,” he whispered back. 

That was definitely new information. She allowed him to rinse her hair out before turning in the water to face him. Her legs wrapped around his waist, and she did her best not to get distracted by his cock that was nestled between them. She placed her hands on both sides of his neck. 

“What are you scared of?” she asked. Her voice was clearer now, the sense of camaraderie comforting her spirit and allowing her to be vulnerable again. 

“All of this. I’ve never brought anyone into the Blood, and I’ve certainly never felt the way I feel about you with anyone else.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before either.” It was then that she realized she had never actually _told_ him how she felt. She had never said the words out loud, even to herself and it suddenly became imperative that he _know_ , without a single doubt, that she loved him. She looked into his eyes and said with clarity and easy conviction, “I love you.” The tentative whispers of yesterday were gone, replaced with an all-consuming need to be completely and totally his. If they were going to do this, they had to go all-in. 

He laughed, bringing his forehead to touch hers and allowing his hands to skim up her back. “Yeah?” Hearing her words or, _word_ , echoed back at her made her smile hugely. 

“Yeah.” She leaned forward to kiss him, just a whisper of lips before pulling back to look at him. Her hands left his neck and drifted into his hair, running her fingers through it and getting lost in the softness. 

“Will it hurt?” she asked absently. Part of her knew the answer, and it wouldn’t change a thing, but she wanted to be prepared. 

Ben grimaced, clearly remembering his own venture into the Blood. “In short, yes. Your body has to die in order for you to be brought over.” 

“What was it like? For you, I mean.” The fear crept back in with the prospect of physical death. She willed her heart and breathing to return to normal as she waited for him to answer. 

She could feel his arms tense around her as he struggled to find the right words. “It feels like everything inside of you is being lit on fire and burned away to make room for the new. Your organs will die, and you’ll feel the moment your lungs stop needing air. Your heart will continue to pump, but it aches as the new blood begins to replace the old.” He was becoming lost in his description, reliving the memories as his words came more quickly. “Your nerve endings will die, and be made new on a cellular level. Imagine...being pricked with a needle in different places on your body...inside and out. It’s rather like a phoenix rising from the ashes. The Blood will break down everything that you are, and bring you back stronger, faster, and eternal...that’s what Snoke told me before he left me to turn. I woke up alone, and I was _so hungry._ ” His eyes refocused on her, bringing him back to the moment. 

Rey had stopped breathing. The fear of the unknown was replaced by a deep apprehension toward what she now knew was in store for her, and she could feel herself shaking. _He went through all of that. He had no one._ She took a deep breath, swallowing roughly as she steeled herself for this moment. _I can do this. We’re going to make something new together. Don’t be a coward, damnit!_

Ben gathered her into his arms, pressing her chest flush with his and stroking her hair. “I’ll be with you. You’re not alone,” he said before pressing a kiss to her temple and rubbing soothing circles across the bare skin of her back. Her heart broke for him, aching with the knowledge that he was alone during his transition and through a good portion of his new life. Yet, here he was, offering all the comfort he could give her leading up to this little death she was about to experience.

She pulled back to look him in the eyes again. “Neither are you,” she said. _You’ll never be alone again._ He smiled and pulled her back to rest her head against his chest again. Her shoulders relaxed, and her breathing evened out. 

“Ben, will you tell me what you found out from the informant?” she asked. 

Ben sighed, clearly wanting to evade the topic once again. “After you’ve been brought over and you settle into your new life, I’ll tell you everything. I promised you that tonight would be just us, didn’t I?” He wasn’t wrong and, if she was being honest, she definitely preferred to save the looming problem of her attempted assassination for another time. Her safety with him wasn’t even a question. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would protect her with all the resources at his disposal, so why bother with worrying? She had enough on her plate to think about.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he replied as one of his hands drifted under her chin to tilt her face up. He kissed her on the lips, gently at first, but with a rising hunger that only continued to grow as she writhed on his lap. 

There was no more talking as his hands wandered her body, pausing to caress the bare skin of her breasts, eventually finding her ass guiding her to grind her hips down on him. Rey’s lips pulled away from his and she locked their eyes together as she rose above him, winding her hands in his hair before taking his mouth in another punishing kiss. 

She ground herself over him, catching the tip of his cock at the entrance of her pussy before sliding down on him in one swift movement. She was already _so_ ready, but the stretch was still there and it felt _delicious._ The intimacy of the moment pounded through her blood as she settled herself astride him and began to gently ride him. 

Their touches were no longer shy, but desperate, as she clutched her fingers in his hair and felt his digging into the skin of her thighs. She opened her eyes to look at him, and found his eyes darkened with hunger but still so soft, his skin slightly flushed, and his mouth parted temptingly. She smiled at him, gasping when his returned smile flashed his elongated canines. _How do they surprise me every time?_

She slowed her pace momentarily. “I want you to bite me when I come,” she gasped out, still rolling on the waves of pleasure that their deep strokes elicited from her. 

His eyes searched hers for a moment before he nodded, shifting slightly to give himself leverage to thrust up into her on his own. Rey could feel her mouth drop open on a gasp, and then he was there sucking at her lips, and licking into her mouth. She felt his growls rumbling in his chest as she climbed higher, ignoring the water sloshing from the sides of the tub with every thrust. 

Ben’s mouth left hers and trailed down her neck, but he didn’t stop there, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking deeply. The sensation went straight to her clit and sent her tumbling over the edge of her orgasm. Through the haze of bliss, she felt Ben’s mouth trail up to her throat, fixing over the pulsing vein that rested there. 

She gasped anew when his fangs tore into her skin, sinking deep this time, and the pulsing pull of her blood flowing left her weak. Her arms remained looped around his neck until they grew too weak to hold on. His lips suckling against her neck moved like music, lulling her into a trance and pulling her deeper under waves of pleasure with each caress of his tongue against her skin. 

She felt the now familiar swoon crashing over her. All she could hear was the sound of his heartbeat matching with hers, pounding in her ears as her blood flowed like a melody into his mouth. She felt like she was floating, vaguely aware of her body growing limp. Her mind was losing consciousness, her heartbeat slowing to a dangerous pace. The whispers came flooding into her mind, the same ones from months before as she bled out on the floor of her London apartment, each phrase a different voice, coaching her through the path to unconsciousness…

_These are your final steps, Rey_

_Bring the balance, you and Ben_

_In the night, find the light, Rey_

_You’re not alone_

_Alone, never have you been_

_Every vampire that has ever lived, will live in you Rey_

_The Source is within you, Rey_

_Let it guide you_

_As it guides us_

The whispers continued in a cyclical manner, rising and falling in her head as she felt her body being lifted from the water. The sounds of water droplets tinkling, feet padding across the floor, and gentle, even breathing in her ear were the only things keeping her on the edge of consciousness. 

She was warm, suddenly, wrapped in plush towels as strong hands lowered her onto a bed, _their bed_. It smelled like them. She wasn’t being held anymore, and that distressed her immediately. She forced her eyes open, searching blearily for Ben. She couldn’t sit up, couldn’t move her arms, but she could move her eyes, and it didn’t take long to find him. 

Ben was perched above her, sinking his own teeth into his wrist, opening himself for her. He was still naked, and as he lowered himself to her, she felt the warmth of his body pressing against hers. _Warm. He’s warm. I made him warm. My blood._

Before she had time to attempt voicing this thought to him, his arm was hovering above her mouth, dripping rivulets of blood onto her lips. When one of the droplets landed in her mouth, her eyes shot open, seeing clearly for the first time since the process began. 

He tasted like smoked honey. 

She reached her hand up to grasp his wrist, pulling it to her mouth with as much force as she could muster in her current state. 

“Shh, drink little one. You’ve been so brave. Drink, and learn…” 

She did, _oh_ , she did. His blood slid down her throat thickly, carrying with it a strength the likes of which she’d never known. Her grip on his arm grew tighter, and he chuckled through a gasp, “Good, isn’t it?” She looked up at him, a challenge in her eyes as she felt herself growing stronger, his strength flowing into her as it left him: an exchange. “Enough, Rey, that’s enough.” She couldn’t stop. _It’s so good. Need more._ “Enough!” He pulled his wrist from her lips and she fell back onto the bed. _W_ _hen did I even sit up?_

The euphoria flowed through her veins, melting her bones and warming her insides pleasantly. 

The warmth quickly turned to burning, the pleasant embers turning to a blazing fire inside of her. 

Rey opened her mouth and screamed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is THE chapter. Ben finally starts to bring Rey into the Blood. Before the process begins, she asks Ben to describe what it's like, and he loses himself going into graphic detail. Rey begins her transition, and it's not super pleasant for the most part. What can I say? It can't all be glamorous. 
> 
> I promise, they will discuss the big "M" word at a later date. 
> 
> I really hope you guys are enjoying this story. Please know that every single comment means the world to me and LITERALLY makes me cry. Sometimes I get a little discouraged because I wonder if people are reading this at all, but then I get some interaction on Twitter, or a comment, and it makes it all worth it. Thank you guys <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Her thoughts centered only on blood and more and Ben, an endless cycle drawing her deeper and deeper into herself. Vaguely, she felt her lover’s arms wrap around her, his head pressing to her shoulder, and yes, more, closer. She could feel every sinew of his body, the contour of his hands as they clung to her. She may have been clinging to him too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY this took so long. I wanted every piece to be perfect because this chapter is super important to me. Please enjoy Rey's first night of her new eternity <3 
> 
> This chapter includes typical vampire violence, as well as some blood kink at the end.

Rey’s body was on fire, burning as she waded through the haze of visions flashing before her eyes. As Ben’s blood,  _ her Maker’s blood _ , began to encompass her own, she knew him. She didn’t know him as she had before, no, now she  _ knew _ him. She knew every thought he’d had, every victim he’d taken, and every moment he’d wanted to end his own immortal life in favor of the blissful abyss of eternity. 

She watched behind her own eyes as the beautiful man she’d grown to love woke alone in a shallow grave. She felt him aching, crying out for his own master, and being lost when he realized he’d been left to bear this weight alone. __

_ Criminal it was, leaving a fledgling to learn the ways of The Blood on his own, but his Maker had no loyalty to the law. Howling, screaming in the darkness as Ben scratched his way to the surface. The clawing thirst driving him from under the dirt. The ecstasy as he drank from the first victim he’d come to. The smell of blood mingling with the stench of the city streets as he drank and drank from one victim after another until he was gorged. _

A distant voice spoke to Ben in her dream. _ “Yes, my Little Lord. Drink, and live. Drink, and learn. You will rise as Kylo Ren, heir apparent to Lord Vader. You will be the Master of the Knights of Ren. Drink…”  _ Dream Ben was remembering these words, using them to strengthen himself as he pushed through the crushing loneliness. 

The vision faded, and Rey drifted back to her body.  _ Love you, Ben. Love you, love you, love you. You beautiful, terrifying creature. You beguile me, and enchant me, and I will never have enough of you. Master, Maker, Lover. This is what I was born for- who I was meant to be. Thank you, thank you, thank you.  _ She wanted to tell him. Maybe she did. She wanted to hold him, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t see anything, or hear anything but the pounding of blood in her ears. Her head ached from the drum of it. Her throat burned with rawness, and she reckoned she might have been screaming. 

Her thoughts centered only on  _ blood  _ and  _ more  _ and  _ Ben _ , an endless cycle drawing her deeper and deeper into herself. Vaguely, she felt her lover’s arms wrap around her, his head pressing to her shoulder, and  _ yes, more, closer.  _ She could feel every sinew of his body, the contour of his hands as they clung to her. She may have been clinging to him too. 

She felt like she would die if this continued, but it continued and she did not die. She tingled, as if every nerve ending she had in her body had simultaneously fallen asleep only to wake to the pain. She ached in every fiber of her being as the fire consumed her from the inside out. After a time it became almost pleasant, the burning. The constant pain became a comfort. For years, it seemed, she lay there electrified by the fire. The sound of her new blood pounding reverberated in her ears. She might have prayed, to whomever was listening, that this would end soon. 

She imagined herself crying with blood tears dripping down onto Ben’s chest as he held her. Maybe it was happening- not a dream, or her imagination. She didn’t know. All she knew was the fire and Ben. 

* * *

Kylo held onto Rey tenderly as she underwent the hellacious throes of her transition. He couldn’t shake the deep relief that he felt with her every cry, no matter the pain he could hear in her voice. He knew she was hurting, that in this moment she likely longed for death to take her, but the point was that she was  _ alive.  _ All of those visions, the nightmares that plagued him and kept him away from her for so long, were lies.  _ This  _ was real.  _ This _ was the truth. 

He talked to her through her transition; little whispers of  _ I love you, you’re so strong, let it out, scream, it’s okay, I’ve got you,  _ slipped through his lips and penetrated through her skin straight to her soul. He knew she couldn’t hear him, but he also knew that her blood would feel him and it would settle. She would not howl into the night alone as he had all those years ago. He watched as her eye-teeth lengthened delicately in her mouth, her skin paled in animate death, and her fingernails hardened to near glass on her tiny hands. 

He guarded her, his Empress, and was relieved further when her screams turned to whimpers, and her body ceased its thrashing against the sheets. He gathered her close and prepared for her to wake. He knew she would wake up hungry, and with questions. He would be there to guide her, to hold her hand, and to make sure she felt known and understood. 

Rey’s eyes flickered open and met his just inches away, and she smiled. The brilliance of it, of her, took his breath away. 

* * *

The first thing Rey saw when she awoke were Ben’s eyes shining back at her. It was comforting. She knew she should be assessing the changes that her body had experienced, but she couldn’t pull herself away from him. He, who had no comfort from his own maker, was here to comfort her. It made her heart sing. 

His hands were wandering over her, and she marveled at how  _ warm _ he felt. They were the same temperature now, made whole by each other’s blood pounding through their veins. She leaned forward and placed a kiss to his forehead, ran her fingers through his hair, marveled at the softness that sent a tingling chill up her spine. Right now, Ben was not a creature of monstrous strength, he was not her Master, he was not Lord Kylo Ren. Right now he was weak, and soft, exhausted from giving his blood and holding her through her transition. She loved him even more in his weakness.

_ My sweet angel, you’re so strong. You have more courage than anyone I’ve ever known. You’re a force to be reckoned with…  _ she heard him speak, but his mouth didn’t move. 

_ His mouth didn’t move. _

_ Ben...I can hear you. How can I hear you?  _ she thought back at him. 

His face split open into a grin and he cupped her cheek.  _ You’re now blood of my blood. The Source in me can speak to the Source in you. I made you. We have no need for words. “ _ Although I think I might die if I never hear your voice again.” He finished the statement aloud to drive home his point. 

“Yeah, me too,” she said. Her eyes went wide at the sound of her own voice. It was definitely  _ her _ voice, but the timbre had changed ever so slightly, just enough to be unsettling to those that had known her  _ before.  _ Ben smiled knowingly, and ran his hands down her arm to grasp her hand in his. 

Rey’s eyes traveled down to where their hands met, finally pulling away from Ben’s gaze, as she commenced to study the changes in her body. Her skin held a ghostly pallor, shocking in comparison to the natural tan of her skin. Her fingernails gleamed like glass in the winking candlelight. She ran her tongue over her newly sharpened eye-teeth and realized that she no longer felt any pain. All of the little aches and pains of humanity were gone from her muscles, but she was still able to feel the pleasurable warmth of skin on skin, Ben’s breath on her skin, and the silkiness of the sheets cocooning her. 

And yet, despite her joy at the success of her transition, a lingering sadness stuck in her heart.  _ I’m dead. I’m a vampire. I’ll kill, so that I can live. I’ll drink blood, and I’ll live forever.  _ Rey looked at Ben, and he squeezed her hand. She felt comforting warmth wash over her from his side of their bond as he forced them into a seated position. 

“We have to take you out to feed, sweetheart. Or, rather, I need to feed or I’ll be completely useless to you,” Ben said with a weak smile. “You have quite the voracious appetite.” 

Rey smiled shyly back at him and rose from the bed. She felt light on her feet, and strangely numb as she walked across the room to look at herself in the mirror. She was stark naked, but felt no shame. The paleness of her skin still felt unusual to her, but she couldn’t help smiling when she saw the glimmer in her eyes, and opened her mouth to see the tiny evil little teeth poking into her bottom lip. 

Ben slid up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed the junction between her neck and shoulder, and met her eyes in the mirror expectantly.  _ What do you think? _

Rey’s faint smile stretched into a full-blown grin.  _ I think I was meant to be like this my whole life. I feel like I’ve finally come home. _ She turned her head to look at him directly, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.  _ Come. I’m hungry. _

* * *

Ben dressed Rey in finery, casual enough to not draw attention, yet fine enough to be fit for an empress. This was their first “official” date, after all, and he wanted to make this experience memorable for her. The velvet of the deep emerald dress skirted over her skin to the floor and highlighted the natural rouge of her lips. He brushed her hair, leaving it free and wild- just like her. 

His own clothing didn’t matter much, but he wanted to look good for her, despite his current forlorn state. He left her briefly to go to the closet and dress himself, allowing her a moment alone. He heard her then, laughing. She’d been so calm through this entire transition, but her sudden laughter rose in volume troublingly. 

When he made it to the bedroom, Rey stood in front of the mirror still, holding a lock of her hair and a pair of scissors. Her hair had already grown back from where it had been cut, and Rey was still laughing. He ran to her, pulled the scissors from her hand and placed his hand over her mouth. 

“You can shatter all of the glass in this room with your voice,” he said stupidly. Clearly, there were more pressing issues at hand, but he didn’t know how to help her deal with them. For once, he was having trouble reading her. 

She ripped her mouth from his hands, “Then let me shatter it!” She wasn’t angry, or afraid, but a wild thing that was coming to terms with her power, her invincibility, her immortality. She smiled up at him, and wrapped her arms around his neck again, embracing him almost foolishly in her excitement. Ben was a slave to her joy in that moment, completely enamored by her resilience. 

All he could think was that they were together, and nothing was going to separate them now. 

She broke away first, an urgency running through her. “I want to see you do it. I want you to show me how. I want you to show me everything.” Of course. She had to be starving, and at that moment Ben remembered his own searing thirst. He nodded, grabbed her hand, and pulled her through the open window in the bedroom. She had her arms locked around his neck, just as she had all those months ago when she’d come to him after his show. 

They flew like that, and for how long Ben didn’t know. He knew he would need to teach her to fly on her own, but for now he relished the closeness, and he sensed that she did too. 

He only started to lower them when he saw the bright lights of the Bay Bridge in the distance, littered with white and red car lights, and flickering with human life. Ben watched Rey as he held her. She was leaning away from his chest, seeming to feel the wind coursing through her hair and across her skin. He could’ve fallen into a stupor watching her, but they had matters to attend to. His excitement at the prospect of teaching her how to feed won out over his infatuation for a moment as he lowered them to the roof of a tall building. The cars sped along the streets below, and he listened to her laugh and watched her spin in circles with overwhelming joy. 

He laughed with her, and caught her in his arms again to place a kiss on her smiling lips. Grabbing her hand, he jumped down to the waiting streets below, watching her land with natural grace beside him. They ran hand in hand through a narrow alleyway and he watched as she took in her surroundings. He knew how she was feeling, both from his own experiences as well as from the link between them: the overwhelming feeling of the air as it coursed over her skin like silk, the city lights blinding her eyes in the most beautiful way, the sounds of life piercing her ears and overwhelming her senses. She moved ahead of him, leading them out into the Fisherman’s Wharf. She stopped at the edge of the street, taking in their surroundings before zeroing in on a man walking quickly across the docks. 

_ If the thirst doesn’t drive you into it, then find someone else. Are you ready? _ Ben spoke into Rey’s mind, and without breaking away from her prey, she nodded. She moved across the open streets, and Ben hung back to watch her. 

He had intended to take their first kill of the night, intended to show her how to make the experience quick and easy for the victim. But upon listening to the thoughts of her intended prey, Ben decided that this particular victim deserved every ounce of pain that Rey’s novice feeding would inflict upon him. The man had intended to be the hunter this evening, but he had quickly become the prey. 

Rey, for her part, had slipped into the role of a predator seamlessly. Ben guessed that to the man, she likely looked like a woman who had lost her way. Her hair was windswept, and she had kicked her shoes off somewhere in the alley. She had made herself the perfect bait to lure this man the way a snake might entrance a rat. 

She was absolutely glorious, the most wonderful thing Ben could have ever imagined. If creating this ethereal creature was the only accomplishment he had in his unnatural life, then it would be enough. 

When she reached the man, Ben watched her reach up as if to whisper in his ear. The man’s thoughts drifted toward the nefarious, but Rey was quick. She had her teeth sunk into his throat before he could raise his hands in an attempt to grab her. 

_ Stop before the heart stops, sweetheart. Take it slow.  _

She dropped the man’s body to the ground with a dull  _ thud  _ and stared at it while Ben approached her. He watched the warm human blood work through her body, bringing a ruddiness to her cheeks and causing her eyes to flash a vibrant green as she looked up at him. Ben reached out to brush her hair back from her face and kissed a speck of blood from the corner of her mouth. 

Without a word, Rey stepped around the dead man and into Ben’s arms, allowing him to lead her away without a second glance. 

“I need to drink,” Ben told her. The thirst was clawing at his throat, and now that Rey was taken care of, he had enough mental space to acknowledge it. 

Rey’s eyes flickered over him from head to toe. “Yeah, I can tell,” she said. “You should’ve taken him. I could’ve waited. You gave me so much blood; I should’ve thought…” Rey trailed off before her lips turned up in a shy smile. “You’re always such a gentleman.” She turned and flung her arms around his neck, and he kissed her, twirling her around in the moonlight. The twinge of blood in her mouth sparked his hunger and he let her go. 

  
“Right now I’m a starving gentleman. Come on,” he insisted as he grabbed her hand and pulled her down the street. 

* * *

Rey was  _ full _ , almost sloshy, as she trailed behind Ben. He was wild in his thirst, finally making his own needs a priority. 

It dawned on her then that  _ this _ was their life now. Every night, she’d get to hunt with Ben. She’d get to watch him move through the night and strike with merciless grace. She would watch him, and learn to choose evil men like the one she’d had tonight. She’d learn to take them quickly and with ease. 

She watched from the edge of an alleyway as he lured a victim away from the entrance of a bar, teasing and taunting him away from the woman he’d intended to prey on. He was showing off for her, and the thought shot a thrill through her heart.  _ Are you trying to impress me? _

His eyes flashed at her from across the street, making eyes contact just as his teeth sunk into the man’s neck.  _ Maybe. Is it working? _

_ Definitely.  _ Something primal in her was screaming  _ mate, lover, maker, mine. _ She wanted to run to him, to pull his victim from his arms and sink her teeth into his throat while he fucked her against the alley wall. She bit her lip, and stared. 

Ben’s eyes flickered up to hers as he dropped the victim to the ground.  _ Well that was quite the image.  _ Rey could hear the smirk in his voice. He’d heard her. 

_ Shit.  _ She felt the blood rush to her cheeks in a blush. 

Ben made his way across the street back to her and locked his arms around her waist. She felt the warmth coming off of him, and tightened her grip.  _ Don’t be shy, princess. I feel it too, although I’d much rather have you in our bed.  _

Rey wanted to rip his clothes off right then. The offending garments felt alien, when all she really wanted was the closeness of his skin against hers. 

The evening continued like that, though. They walked together through the streets of San Francisco and Ben talked to her about nothing. He talked, yes, but it was pleasant conversation about movies, and music, and the history he’d seen take place before his own eyes over the centuries. He didn’t talk about his time with Snoke, or his transition to Supreme Leader. None of that mattered tonight. 

He taught her to climb walls, to jump rooftops when the streets were too crowded for her to move quickly, and to fly on her own without him to cling to. She learned to read the minds of mortals around her, and to seek out the evildoer to take her meals. She felt invincible, and it once again seemed so strange that she would get to do this forever. She felt as if she had this one night, as if that was all she had earned and tomorrow she would wake up human and weak once again. 

After a while, Rey reluctantly agreed to return to the house in Sonoma. She was tired, mentally if not physically, after all of the excitement of the evening. She insisted on flying herself, excited to try out her new skills regardless of her exhaustion. 

When they reached the house, Rey bounded into the house and to their bedroom, tearing her clothes off as she went.  _ Fuck shyness. He can hear my thoughts now. He knows what I want, doesn’t he? _ She thought these things to herself, but she knew he could hear her as he trailed behind, watching her. 

She threw herself onto the bed, naked, and beckoned him with her eyes. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d ever been this bold, but her body and her blood absolutely  _ needed  _ him. She was full, sated, and invincible. She wanted to revel in that strength, to commune with him in the closest thing she’d ever known to holy matrimony. 

_ Matrimony.  _ She made a note to discuss that topic with him in detail when they rose tomorrow, but right now Ben was kissing his way up her legs and sinking his teeth into her inner thigh and she could think of nothing but  _ this.  _

The deep pull of her blood into his mouth sent a spike straight to her clit. She writhed on the bed as Ben brought his hands up to hold her hips firmly to the bed as he continued to drink from her. She loved this. She loved feeding him and feeling his skin turn warm against hers. 

He pulled away a few moments later after running his tongue over the tiny bite wounds. He continued his ascent to her center, kissing her thighs along the way. He pulled away from her skin, and she whimpered. 

_ Look at me, sweetheart.  _ Rey lifted her head, and watched as he dipped his head and began to work her with his mouth. His fangs scraped against the skin of her labia, nicking a tiny vein that trickled hot, slick wetness through her folds. The blood mingled with her arousal, and Ben groaned against her, savoring the taste. He moved his lips and tongue against her clit repeatedly, bringing her to the edge over and over again until she was clawing at the skin of his arms as they held her down. 

She was moaning and thrashing her head wildly, convinced that she would combust if he didn’t pull her over the edge soon. Just when she thought she was going to burst into flames from the intensity, she felt her orgasm crest and crash over her like a cooling wave to put out the fire. She hissed and moaned, bucking her hips as he licked her through the aftershocks, and before she was finished coming he was thrusting into her.

He made love to her gently, holding her by the back of her head and pulling her to his throat, encouraging her to bite. She wrapped her legs and arms around him as he fucked her into the mattress with increasing intensity. Her pleasure was heightened by the smoky vanilla flavor of his blood pouring into her mouth and down her throat. 

She felt whole, complete, as he filled her, but all too soon he was gripping her hair and pulling her away from his throat.  _ Slow down, sweetheart. Not too much.  _ With that small reprimand, he flipped her over onto her stomach, thrusting her knees up so that her ass was in the air. 

He gripped her hips and buried his face in her pussy from behind, eliciting an ear piercing yelp from Rey. He licked her thoroughly, tracing his tongue over every inch of her, before pulling away and thrusting into her again from behind. He had regained his strength, clearly, and the swift thrust of his hips caused her to collapse onto the bed. 

His hands bracketed her in, and she couldn’t move, didn’t want to move, as he thrust powerfully into her. Words of praise and love tumbled from his mouth as he fucked her. “Good girl, so, so good...yes, yes,  _ yes _ …you’re so fucking perfect, so  _ goddamn _ perfect for me Rey, fuck…” 

His words only helped her climb higher, drawing out tiny whines from her throat. Rey felt his body collapse down onto her, his lips pressing against her throat as he let out hot panting breaths against her skin. His hips continued to piston into her, pinning her to the bed as his hands gripped hers against the bedsheets. 

Her second orgasm snuck up on her, overwhelming her newly heightened senses and making her see colored spots dance before her eyes as he continued his assault on her cunt. His breathing quickened, his pace becoming erratic as she listened to his thoughts turn to incoherent babble in her head. 

_ So tight, so hot, mine, fuck, I’m gonna come... _ A few more thrusts and he was pulsing his seed inside of her for what seemed like ages before rolling to the side and holding her tightly in his arms. 

Her eyes were drooping as morning fast approached, and she felt her face and muscles relaxing into sleep. She felt Ben tilt her chin up to meet her lips with his. His teeth cut into her tongue as he kissed her deeply, and she did the same to his. Their tongues passed into each other’s mouths as the blood flowed between them. 

He pulled back from the kiss gently. The last thing she heard was his voice whispering into her mind as she drifted into sleep. 

_ Goodnight sweetheart, my darling one, my princess, my angel. Tomorrow, you’ll greet the world.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was greatly inspired by Gabrielle's transition in The Vampire Lestat. She's so wild, and feral, and she takes to her new life like a fish to water. I wanted that for our Rey <3 Hopefully you guys enjoyed this! 
> 
> Rey's [outfit](https://pin.it/45TmRMy)


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